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'09 Malibu Vs. '59 Bel Air Crash Test
theodp writes "To celebrate their 50th anniversary, the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety crashed a 1959 Chevrolet Bel Air into a 2009 Chevrolet Malibu. Hate to spoil the ending of the video, but if you find yourself participating in a similar car-jousting contest, pick the Malibu over the Bel Air. (Not that you'll be complaining afterwards if you don't, or doing much of anything.) Guess there is something to those crumple zones after all."
All I can say is "You bastards! You murdered a car with tail fins! Have you no heart?
Now this is a story all about how my life got flip turned upside-down. I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there, I'll tell you how I totally destroyed a classic car in the name of science.
Funny may not give karma, but +5 Informative never made anyone snort coffee out their nose.
But then again, back in the 50's we didn't need all these fancy crumple zones, seat belts and air bags. Men were real men. Hell, I'll bet you dollars to donuts any man from the 50's driving that Bel-Air would have jumped right out of that wreck to help the crying sissy-boy with a cut lip driving that Malibu.
Top Gear tries to stay away from useful facts and info as much as possible.
And the idea of Top Gear having TWO cars that cost below $40,000 on the screen at the same is pretty far fetched.
http://lkml.org/lkml/2005/8/20/95
kilos of metres, obviously.
and that cars should have a spike on the steering wheel reminded me of an old Letterman top 10... thank you, Internet!
Top 10 Ways American Cars Would be Different if Ralph Nader Had Never Been Born
10. Dashboard hibachis
9. Seat belts made of piano wire
8. Windshield replaced with ant farm for kids
7. Strobe headlights make oncoming traffic look like old time movie
6. 50-foot antennas allow you to broadcast while driving
5. Optional front-seat hammocks
4. Wiper fluid reservoir routinely filled with thousand island dressing
3. New York City taxis would be exactly the same
2. The paper Buick
1. Speedometer replaced with electronic voice chanting "Punch it! Punch it!"
Literalism isn't a form of humor, it's you being irritating.
They shoulda used a 1958 model, considered to be the only non-classic late fifties Chevy.
Which is why I have one.
The determined Real Programmer can write Fortran programs in any language.
You're probably right. But the steering wheel impaled through Fifties Guy's gut would slow him down a bit. Wow, those old steering columns were nasty.
He still would have toughed it out, though, and called 09-guy a whiner.
The YouTube stupidity wasn't limited to claiming it was faked. Here we have an actual YouTube commenter trying to draw a comparison between Hitler's Eugenics program and the engineering principles behind car safety. It's like crazy in a can.
You must be new to the Youtube comment section. Welcome.
GAAH! MY PRINTER IS ON FIRE!!! PUT IT OUT! PUT IT OUT!
Good thing Bush isn't around any more - he'd buy into it.
Must have missed out on trading it in during cash for clunkers.
My observations were that I'd much rather be in an old tank like that in a minor accident. Anything major, and I'd rather be in a modern car with things like seatbelts, crumple zones and air bags.
Yep, that's why before getting involved in any traffic accident, I always carefully choose the car I own which would be best suited. Now if you'll excuse me, I might accidentally run over my neighbour in his backyard while I'm on my way to the store. I think I'll pick the Hummer, it's the better one to get through wooden fences.
You just got troll'd!
And now, it's just a little bit rarer.
Good news for the Bel Air owner though: the fuzzy dice looked like they survived mostly intact, although I think the string connecting them got ripped or cut.
Seriously, points to IIHS for including the dice. You can see them flying around the cockpit at 1:03 to 1:09. They look like they might present a hazard of as you are crashing, they might hit you in the eye, potentially causing you to blink and miss the carnage right before you die.
I bet it was the "which was broken" part!
If I'm the only one who bids, do I win? Like on eBay?
The straight 6 engines in those cars offered no protection in an offset crash, and just smashed back through the dash killing the occupants, who were dead anyway.
Fucking classic-car-driving zombies...
But youtube commenter marcsiry did make it worthwhile:
Even worse, the guy in the Belï Air was texting at the time.
Ah yes the good old 50's, when men were men and women were property.
EvilCON - Made Famous by
Not everybody is equiped to capture those long sentences
-How long is your attention span?
-At least five... Oh look, that's a pretty keyboard!
Besides that, the person form the 50 would have died. Well
-He is old now. No problem. old people die.
-Beside that, for insurance a dead person is much cheaper than a disabled person that they will have to pay out for a long long time.
Marty, he's in a '46 Ford, we're in a DeLorean. He'd rip through us like we were tin foil.
I'd still rather ride around in the '59 Belair......
Top tip: make sure you slide the seat back a bit! ;)
OK - I've got to ask: What the hell is the story behind TWO collisions with a "friend's" vehicles - and is he still your friend? ;)
tl;dr
Car analogies break down.
Keep this shit up, and we're gonna have to make nice with Cuba...
deleting the extra space after periods so i can stay relevant, yeah.
Then they wouldn't mind being killed a little more would they?
Chas - The one, the only.
THANK GOD!!!
"Gee, why is everyone complaining that they destroyed some old picture of a lady that wasn't realy smiling while comparing the materials available to Michaelangelo to today's?" :(
I think you've mixed up your Ninja Turtles.