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A Geek Funeral
We've recently talked about a geek wedding, and now reader Sam_In_The_Hills writes in with news of his brother's geek funeral. "I've not seen this topic covered here before even though it's one that will concern us all at some time: what to do with our corporeal remains after we've left for that great data bank in the sky. For my recently departed brother (long illness, don't smoke!), I thought this nice SPARCstation would be a cool place to spend eternity. Yes, he's really in there (after cremation). I kept the floppy drive cover but for space reasons removed the floppy drive, hard drive, and most of the power supply. I left behind the motherboard and power switch and plugs to keep all openings covered. The case worked quite well at his memorial party. His friends and family were able to leave their final good-byes on post-notes. Anyone who wanted to keep their words private could just slip their note into the case through the floppy slot. All notes will be sealed in plastic and placed within the case. There has been one complication. His daughters like the look of it so much they aren't now sure if they want to bury him. One more thing: the words on the plaque really do capture one of the last things he ever said. Of course as kids we watched the show in its first run."
If he was a Sun admin, I would wager it wasn't the cigarettes.
Remembered as in life, not as the struggle through the end.
I'm sure your brother appreciates the sentiment.
John
Everybody knows that geeks want to be frozen until the day that they can be made into cyborgs
Help fight spam
but I want a bunch of screaming Klingons at mine.
Rhymes that keep their secrets will unfold behind the clouds.There upon the rainbow is the answer to a neverending story
I need my smokes to get through work
Not really, you don't. It's a choice. There are other ways.
My smokes pay for the roads, education, utilities...
If I had my way, they wouldn't. Every cent earned on cigarette taxes would go towards a public anti-smoking campaign. If drugs were legalized and taxed, all the money made from the taxes would also go towards a public anti-drug campaign.
Qxe4
"Anti-smoking jab"?
Surely a recommendation to not do what recently (and slowly, and no doubt unpleasantly) killed your brother in a post about his funeral arrangements isn't on the same level as cheap moralistic point-scoring.
It's like comparing a Jack Thompson op-ed hit piece to a a eulogy for some kid who was shot for being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
For the record, I think that anti-smoking campaigning took on a distasteful moralistic tone some time ago; but the notion that you can't mention the subject after watching your brother die slowly of it seems a bit much.
He went like so many of the electronic devices we cherish. At the end of the device's life, when the smoke clears, all that's left is a non-functioning box to collect the dust and some damn good memories.
:)
Well done. My sentiments to those left in the away team. Live long and prosper
When we die our remains will be nothing more than a snapshot of the atoms we occupied right before we died. Had we lived a year longer, a good proportion of those atoms would have been replaced with new material we drank, ate and breathed in through the year. It is as if living is a type of standing wave through which matter flows.
My point? I wouldn't care what happened to my remains. I was a wave, and all that remains of me are ripples left behind in a shared pool of memories.
RIP....
I am truly sorry for your loss, and I'm glad that you found such a creative way to honor him. I am sure he would be truly pleased.
As to the assholes who posted below me, SHAME ON YOU! You should be respectful to people in such an important time. Seriously, do you feel that a few good laughs is worth this embarrassment? Grow up.
Look, the guy probably died from lung cancer or some other complication that resulted from smoking. The dangers of smoking are well known, even and especially to smokers. Give the grieving family member a break for putting in an anti-smoking message into the write-up. You might think smoking is great and gets you through the day, but if you leave this world due to some smoking complication, I doubt the grieving members of your family that you leave behind are going to give a crap about the roads you helped build with a couple bucks in tobacco taxes seeing as how you're no longer with them.
Don't trust a bull's horn, a doberman's tooth, a runaway horse or me.
TFS didn't put anyone down for smoking and it didn't suggest we tax smokers, all it said was *don't smoke*. Which is actually pretty good advice.
Sigs are too short to say anything truly profound so read the above post instead.
Would that count as a zombie botnet?
*ducks*
RIP
Beyond the starkly limited availability of "timeless" options, humans are a bit to material and stuck within the times. That's how it goes. In a sense, "timeless" isn't even the right thing for a coffin.
Here was a person, who existed in a quite definite span of time and space, who was (no doubt) strongly formed by that time and place, and who now exists only as a period artifact and in the memory of others who shared some of that time.
If we were timeless, we wouldn't need funerals.
Do we need the anti-smoking jab
I don't know. If your sister died due to liver-failure as a result of alcoholism, wouldn't it be understandable if you disliked alcohol?
If one of my siblings died as a result of an addiction to cigarettes, I believe I too would warn people about the risks of smoking.
I don't believe it's a jab, either, just harsh reality.
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools The way to dusty death. --Will
There are several more traditional geek options. You can donate your brain to the Harvard Brain Tissue Resource Center and get their cool "I'm going to Harvard!" card. Plastination is a pretty interesting option as well. There's also the more generic "donate to science" option, which usually means you get to help train the next doctors going through Gross Anatomy. I have to recommend the book "Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers" for more information. It's really a hilarious read and very educational.
The hardware is outdated now. It is a Sparcstation IPC with a 25Mhz CPU. They started making those in about 1990.
It is geek history and a far better thing to be buried in then an fiberglass and steel coffin.
If I have to be placed in anything but the raw dirt it is not a bad choice.
My father actually has it written that he wants bagpipe music and Admiral Kirk's speech about Spock from Wrath Of Khan at his funeral. If we can find a casket that looks like a photon torpedo, so much the better.
I think I should clarify with him whether he wants someone to recite Kirk's speech, or have that video played.
mirrorshades radio -- darkwave, industrial, futurepop, ebm.
Not really, you don't. It's a choice. There are other ways.
Homicide is illegal in most countries.
Me failed English...
FreeBSD over Linux. If my comments seem odd, this may explain...
It's already in my will that way, changed from 'cremate me, mix my ashes with 6 oz of the best weed my estate can score, and smoke me in my fave bar' that I had in it in my 20's. Guess I'm getting old...
Understanding the scope of the problem is the first step on the path to true panic.
Who modded that pissed-off smoker flamebait? Oh! I see what you did there ...
Please don't ever have a family. My wife had a father who smoked like a chimney, and now she's saddled with serious asthma and allergies which cause her real medical problems, simply because of his selfishness. If you dislike life so much you want to cut your own short, be my guest, but don't condemn anyone else to the same fate.
---- Den ene knappen er powerknapp, den andre er Bender voice knapp "Bite My Shiny Metal Ass"
I have a small-but-nice vintage arcade game collection in my living room, and it occurred to me a few years back that these old upright cabinets would make for a pretty good coffin, especially my beloved Sinistar.
Then genius struck: remove the monitor (and I guess the boards too - let another collector use 'em), slap my lifeless remains in there so my face is right behind the glass, and BOOM, we have the makings of a great open-casket for what will surely be a somber wake.
Extra points for the nerdy friend who manages to get the game's synthesized voice to occasionally cry out BEWARE! I live!.
The dangers of cheeseburgers are also well known, but I don't hear families whose loved ones die of heart disease feel the need to get on soapboxes when people die of heart disease. Why is Mickey-D's acceptable, and Marlboro's worth offering advice on?
I realize people get a lot of slack when a family member dies, and should. But I can certainly understand why smokers get a bit tired when complete strangers feel the need to offer off-the-cuff advice against smoking (as if smokers didn't realize it's unhealthy).
AccountKiller
That's not really a fair argument. After all, who ever died from not smoking?
If our elected representatives no longer represent us, do we still live in a Democracy?
Dude, you're getting a Dell!
That's not really a fair argument. After all, who ever died from not smoking?
It's a perfectly fair argument. If you die from a smoking-related illness, then you have smoking to blame for your death. If you die from an obesity-related illness, then you have too many cheeseburgers to blame for your death.
Are you going to suggest that, if someone dies from a smoking-related illness, it doesn't matter because they would have died someday anyway? Well, sure, if that's the attitude, then just shoot heroin while you're driving the wrong direction on the freeway. When you die, however, be prepared for your family to resent your callous disregard for the consequences of drug abuse and reckless driving.
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools The way to dusty death. --Will
Next up, we legalize gay marriage, tax it, and spend the revenue on a public anti-homosexuality campaign.
Seriously, why can't people just mind their own business?
Maybe not
Last words? Hmmmmmmm....
Lay low and look nifty.
or...
Don't be cruel.
Yeah. An Elvis quote. Just cuz I roll like that.
RS
Shoes for Industry. Shoes for the Dead.
Seriously, why can't people just mind their own business?
It's not surprising that someone arguing in favor of smoking is having a hard time understanding that smoking doesn't impact ONLY the smoker. Sure is disappointing, though.
It is possible to quit. If you won't work on the problems in your life that make you smoke, and you're subjecting someone else to your secondhand smoke, then fuck you. I don't care how addicted you think you are; it might be true, but it's no excuse for making anyone else breathe your nasty smoke. I say this as a repeat quitter (over a year this time so far though) and when I smoked, I did my best to get downwind. Your right to clean air supersedes my right to feed my monkey.
"You're right," Fisheye says. "I should have set it on 'whip' or 'chop.'"
The company I previously worked for had a contract with Cemeteries Board to do all the AV stuff in the chapels as well as upgrading their webcasting system. I was sent out to backup all the settings before we did the rollout and at one particular Chapel I noticed there was a printout taped to the rack in the AV booth and on that it specified what accoutrements to put out depending on the deceased's faith. So it had stuff like "Christian: Music, Candles" Russian Orthodox "No Music, Candles" and then I noticed that handwritten at the bottom of the list was "Jedi: No Music, No Candles".
I think I found that on the same visit where I nearly ruined a funeral by accidently starting the powerpoint presentation early, but luckily I managed to reset the presentation a few seconds before they brought in the coffin.
Noone. Nothing. Nowhere.
Homicide is illegal in most countries.
We should legalize it, tax it, and spend all the money earned towards an anti-homicide campaign.
Powder his ashes into an ultrafine dust, mix with iron pigment, and print ASCII art with him on acid free paper. Once he's done being printed, anyone who loved or respected him could take a piece of him with them, mount, frame, and proudly display in their respective data centers... could a bit basher ask for any possible better fate?
So, my new neighbours are heavy smokers. The prevailing winds blow their smoke straight into my house. Given your maxim that nobody should be able to tell anyone else how to live their life - so I can't dicate they give up smoking and they can't dictate I install air filters or a giant windbreak or move elsewhere - what solution does the wise prince propose that still lets my family have clean air?
If only everyone was so thoughtful- I'm 6 months pregnant now and it's amazing the smokers I know who rant and rave about how terrible women are who smoke while pregnant (I have never smoked in my life, personally)... But then insist on smoking while standing right next to me, or in the same house as me. I walk away, every time, but they act so clueless. Like it's suddenly so much better because it's second hand smoke instead? Thank you for being considerate.
You didn't quit, you probably paused. (smoker since my 14 th, umptieth time pauser, this hopefully pausing till endoflife)
All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die.
Sure is disappointing you couldn't figure this out: the simplest way to avoid second hand smoke is to not hang around people who are smoking. Problem solved.
And the solution of in making sure you don't get robbed in the street is to make sure that you are not near any robbers?
Instead of that, how about making sure that smokers don't smoke when there are non-smokers nearby? Why do the smokers have the greater right to pollute their immediate surroundings, instead of non-smokers rights of enjoying air that is not filled with carcinogens?
Smokers right to smoke should end where non-smokers lungs begin. Yes, that would mean banning smoking in public places.
Lesbian Nazi Hookers Abducted by UFOs and Forced Into Weight Loss Programs - -all next week on Town Talk.
.. but what you did here was really awesome.
Funerals and memorials should be about celebrating a person's life, not mourning a person's death. It appears that you and your brother both had a whimsical sense of humor, and that you were able to harness that and put together a very unique tribute that captured the essence of what he loved in life. I don't know how or when I'm going to go (nor do I want to) but when that time comes, I'd love to think that my family will be as creative and thoughtful as you were here.
We're going down, in a spiral to the ground
I think it is because there are many of us that are REALLY getting sick of this nanny government bullshit. Currently smokers are paying anywhere from 400-800% more for their product of choice thanks to taxes that are usually spent on anything and everything BUT what they were originally sold to the public for, which BTW wasn't to get folks to quit but to offset health care costs related to smoking.
Of course now that they have just about taxed smokers right out of existence, what do we start hearing about? If you said "fatty taxes" you win the soon to be nonexistent cigar. And what total lie are they looking to use to sell this "fatty tax"? Why to offset the health care costs of all you fat bastards that dare to eat a cheeseburger of course!
You see, some of us believe in this almost completely forgotten about expression called "personal responsibility" and would actually like to have the right and dare I say freedom to decide what can/can't enter our bodies without having final say going to some rich spoiled asshole in Washington. I'd be more than happy to sign any sheet of paper that says nanny government leaves me alone and removes any "sin taxes" and in return I'll be happy to only have good old cheap pain killers if/when I'm found to have any disease caused by my own choices.
But of course you and I know they would NEVER EVER allow that to happen. Why? Because it is about control. It is about someone in Washington deciding for YOU what YOU can or can't do with your body, and lining the local/state/federal pockets with as much of YOUR money as physically possible, that's why. Does anybody here honestly believe that these multi-generation power brokers really give a good God damn if you smoke or have a cheeseburger? nope, but they sure as hell don't want a serf like you deciding where your money goes, not if they can help themselves to it first. That is why most of us are fed up with the antismoking bullshit, because we can see the writing on the wall.
Today it is "smoking is bad for you, so we must take your money away" tomorrow it is "you are too fat, so we must take your money away". The only constant is the "so we must take your money away" part. So whether you like smokers or not you damned well better stand up for them, because by the time they come for your money it will be too damned late. And I apologize about the length, but like many here I am sick of "mama government" deciding what is best for me. Orwell got it wrong, it won't be as heavy handed as big brother, it will come with a gentle scolding about how you should take better care of yourself, so mama government is here to help you live better!
ACs don't waste your time replying, your posts are never seen by me.
All of those things put vastly more stuff into the air than my cigarettes do.
Have you ever blown into an automotive gas analyser? One lungful of cigarette smoke contains as much unburnt hydrocarbon as a 1988 Volvo 340 produces in three minutes of running at 2500rpm.
Not to mention, you can actually *see* as well as smell cigarette smoke. You can't see (or shouldn't be able to see) car exhaust gases, and they don't really have much of a smell unless your engine is broken.
The dangers of cheeseburgers are also well known, but I don't hear families whose loved ones die of heart disease feel the need to get on soapboxes when people die of heart disease.
You either are not a fat guy or you don't have a family that gives a damn. Fat guys do get hassled. Now you can quit smoking altogether. You can quit drinking alcohol altogether. You can quit drugs altogether. You can't quit eating altogether without death following in short order. Unlike cravings for drugs/alcohol/cigarettes hunger for food is normal and natural and not something you want to curve. Also people have very different hunger drives and metabolise their food very differently. Makes food one of the hardest addictions.
These posts express my own personal views, not those of my employer
Because when you eat a hamburger it has no effect on anyone else.
When you smoke you're forcing other people to breathe in your smoke, and forcing them to deal with that awful smell that you're soaked in.
People usually don't complain about smokers because they're worried about them killing themselves early, they complain because they themselves don't want to be killed early and made uncomfortable due to not being able to breathe fresh air in the meantime by a smoker.
If smokers want to fuck themselves over fine, but don't expect people to be happy about being fucked over with them against their will. Hamburgers don't have any relevance in this argument, it's really a straw man.
As an ex-smoker I can confirm that it's almost impossible to quit for long if your partner is constantly lighting up. Temptation is always right under your nose, so to speak.
Yes, and your right to talk should end where my ears begin.
My talking doesn't inflict cancer or heart disease on others, or aggravate conditions like asthma, like secondhand smoke does. Talking doesn't cause others to smell like shit, like secondhand smoke does. Generally speaking, smokers should keep their habit to themselves, unless in the company of people who don't mind it. Covering others with the waste product of your habit is rude. That's the reason beer drinkers don't usually pee all over you.
I prefer rogues to imbeciles because they sometimes take a rest.
So did I, for many years. Then one day I got pissed off at being addicted and kicked it, with no assistance (chemical or otherwise).
The most important thing is wanting to give up. If you don't want to, then don't bother. It's your choice, after all.
No study has ever found a statistically significant risk of cancer due to 2nd hand smoke exposure.
http://www.lungusa.org/site/pp.asp?c=dvLUK9O0E&b=35422
"The current Surgeon Generalâ(TM)s Report concluded that scientific evidence indicates that there is no risk-free level of exposure to secondhand smoke. Short exposures to secondhand smoke can cause blood platelets to become stickier, damage the lining of blood vessels, decrease coronary flow velocity reserves, and reduce heart rate variability, potentially increasing the risk of heart attack."
"Secondhand smoke has been classified by the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) as a known cause of cancer in humans (Group A carcinogen)."
"Secondhand smoke exposure causes disease and premature death in children and adults who do not smoke. Secondhand smoke contains hundreds of chemicals known to be toxic or carcinogenic, including formaldehyde, benzene, vinyl chloride, arsenic ammonia and hydrogen cyanide."
"Research indicates that private research conducted by cigarette company Philip Morris in the 1980s showed that secondhand smoke was highly toxic, yet the company suppressed the finding during the next two decades."
And so forth. This isn't rocket-science people!
And even if we assume that there is no risk when exposed to second hand smoke, what rights do smokers have to expose others to smoke that smells like shit, makes clothes smell like shit, makes other cough and generally feel bad etc. etc.? By that logic I should have the right to carry exposed septic-tanks in subway. Sure, it might smell bad, but there's no harm, right? Therefore others have no right to tell me what to do.
Lesbian Nazi Hookers Abducted by UFOs and Forced Into Weight Loss Programs - -all next week on Town Talk.
"The current Surgeon Generalâ(TM)s Report concluded that scientific evidence indicates that there is no risk-free level of exposure to secondhand smoke. Short exposures to secondhand smoke can cause blood platelets to become stickier, damage the lining of blood vessels, decrease coronary flow velocity reserves, and reduce heart rate variability, potentially increasing the risk of heart attack."
None of which has anything to do with cancer.
"Secondhand smoke has been classified by the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) as a known cause of cancer in humans (Group A carcinogen)."
Which is largely a political action, not a scientific one. The study which the EPA cited to support this ruling has been roundly debunked.
Secondhand smoke exposure causes disease and premature death in children and adults who do not smoke
Where's the study that shows it increases cancer risk? I'm not denying that it's harmful. It's clear that it does cause disease. It's just not clear that it causes cancer.
Secondhand smoke contains hundreds of chemicals known to be toxic or carcinogenic, including formaldehyde, benzene, vinyl chloride, arsenic ammonia and hydrogen cyanide."
Everything contains carcinogens. Including that burger you grilled. Showing that something contains carcinogens is not the same as showing that it causes cancer.
And so forth. This isn't rocket-science people!
No, it's health science which is significantly more complicated than rocket science. That's why it's important to make accurate claims. Argue that 2nd hand smoke is harmful, but do so with real data.
By that logic I should have the right to carry exposed septic-tanks in subway.
I wouldn't argue that anyone should be trapped in an enclosed space with a smoker. But if you choose to go someplace where the owner has allowed smoking, you really shouldn't complain. Smoking bans in public places are a good idea. Smoking bans in private establishments are not.
Give me Classic Slashdot or give me death!