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What Do You Look For In a Conference?

Posted by ScuttleMonkey on from the real-technical-info-not-buzzword-bingo dept.

Michael Lato writes "I've been a speaker at several Information Technology conferences and I know that I use conferences as both an opportunity to gain new skills and to network with my peers. In hopes of assisting others, I've started my own conference in order to boost the soft skills of computer professionals. However, we may need to cancel due to a lack of attendees. What are people looking for in a conference in the midst of this recession? Have we missed the mark in thinking topics like project management and remote team leadership will be well-received?"

16 of 186 comments (clear)

  1. Oh my God! by NoYob · · Score: 5, Funny
    What I look for in a Conference:
    1. Free Booze
    2. Scantily clad hot booth chicks
    3. Porn stars
    4. Free shit
    5. Free food
    6. Drunk career women looking for a little "fun"
    --
    It's NOT me! It's the meds! I'm on 1000mg of Fukitol.
    1. Re:Oh my God! by NoYob · · Score: 3, Funny

      Free shit

      Careful now, you know how literal these sciency types can be.

      So, I have a garden. It beats having to buy it at Home Depot.

      --
      It's NOT me! It's the meds! I'm on 1000mg of Fukitol.
  2. Re:Location Location Location... by Knara · · Score: 3, Funny

    d: Is in a hotel with a nice bar that has readily available escorts trolling for well-off professionals.

  3. Re:Location Location Location... by MightyMartian · · Score: 4, Funny

    d: Is in a hotel with a nice bar that has readily available escorts trolling for well-off professionals

    We know what you want, but what about the professionals?

    --
    The world's burning. Moped Jesus spotted on I50. Details at 11.
  4. In other words by ArchieBunker · · Score: 5, Funny

    You're a self absorbed douchebag who got a taste of reality when nobody wanted to attend your coma inducing conference.

    --
    Only the State obtains its revenue by coercion. - Murray Rothbard
    1. Re:In other words by Tablizer · · Score: 3, Funny

      Seems an elephant sat on the Honesty Button there.

      --
      Table-ized A.I.
  5. Free hookers like the climate conference by RichMan · · Score: 4, Funny

    This sort of thing only seems to happen at the political conferences, not the technical ones.

    --
    Copenhagen's city council in conjunction with Lord Mayor Ritt Bjerregaard sent postcards out to 160 Copenhagen hotels urging COP15 guests and delegates to 'Be sustainable - don't buy sex'.

    "Dear hotel owner, we would like to urge you not to arrange contacts between hotel guests and prostitutes," the approach to hotels says.

    Now, Copenhagen prostitutes are up in arms, saying that the council has no business meddling in their affairs. They have now offered free sex to anyone who can produce one of the offending postcards and their COP15 identity card, according to the Web site avisen.dk.
    --

    http://www.spiegel.de/international/zeitgeist/0,1518,665182,00.html

    1. Re:Free hookers like the climate conference by geminidomino · · Score: 4, Funny

      No, the surprise is the prostitutes. ;)

  6. What Do You Look For In a Conference? by daveime · · Score: 3, Funny

    What Do *I* Look For In a Conference?

    The exit to the buffet / bar.

    1. Re:What Do You Look For In a Conference? by MightyMartian · · Score: 2, Funny

      Worst conference I was ever at was an IBM conference. Most of it was the same buzz-word heavy bullshit, but I remember one laughably bad little meeting IBM sales reps had with us VARs, where about the most substance there was was how many colors the computers should be. The fucking thing was an hour and a half long.

      Most disappointing was attending the launching of OS/2 Warp 4, where the buttholes at IBM didn't even hand out OS/2 install CDs, but a fucking slide show CD that played on Windows!

      In both cases the food sucked.

      --
      The world's burning. Moped Jesus spotted on I50. Details at 11.
  7. Re:Location Location Location... by nomadic · · Score: 3, Funny

    Come on, you'd stray too if you had to wake up to this every morning.

  8. Re:Simple by MightyMartian · · Score: 3, Funny

    Pick any random 25 conference attendees. If at least one of them doesn't end up waking up in a ditch on the side of a highway 50 miles from your conference with no memory of the preceding three days except vague flashes involving tequila, three midgets, and a donkey, the conference is too lame for anyone to go to.

    Look, it was two midgets and a mule, and maybe its owner (or possibly Art Gufunkel). I don't know why people can't get the story straight.

    --
    The world's burning. Moped Jesus spotted on I50. Details at 11.
  9. Re:Location Location Location... by davester666 · · Score: 3, Funny

    I look for good, decently matched football teams. It makes the games much more interesting.

    --
    Sleep your way to a whiter smile...date a dentist!
  10. Enough Vodka for Russians? by HornWumpus · · Score: 2, Funny

    How much is that?

    All of it?

    --
    John McAfee 'It was like that time I hired that Bangkok prostitute; to do my taxes, while I fucked my accountant'
  11. Re:Location Location Location... by DeathElk · · Score: 2, Funny

    Why did Tiger hit both the tree and the hydrant....?

    .....Because he couldn't decide between the wood and the iron.....

  12. Re:Free software. by Tablizer · · Score: 2, Funny

    Microsoft events involving free software are very well attended. Over the years I've acquired Windows Vista Ultimate, Windows 7 Ultimate, Visual Studio 2005/2008 Standard, SQL Server 2005/2008 Standard and Windows Server 2008 all for just showing up.

    I tried that, but the handouts were yawners. I'll trade you 3,827 AOL disks for your SQL-Server.
         

    --
    Table-ized A.I.