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What Are the Best Valentine's Day Stunts?
With the oh-so-dreaded Hallmark holiday on the horizon we are flooded with tips and tricks (mostly designed to sell us things our mates cannot live without) of how to please/capture/sedate the ones we care for. One writer even suggests ways to capture the interest of a geeky girl. That said, what are some of the crazier romantically inspired, geeky V-day stunts or activities that you or someone you know has executed to terrible success or failure?
I know. It's out there, but, contrary to my expectations, she didn't totally humiliate me in front of everyone in the cafeteria.
But then I realized the cable was blue, so I only gave it one star. I hate blue.
Chloroform soaked rags always get me the ladies.
Trolling is a art,
Now we just have to determine which method he was martyred by.
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I already did that last year for Valentine's Day!
DO A BARREL ROLL!!!
Lets see how romantic she thinks giving birth is.
Give me Classic Slashdot or give me death!
I have noticed that my wife tends to really like surprises.
Like jumping out of the closet with a mask made of beef jerky and a butchers knife with a pigs heart stuck on the end? You could write 'I HEART U' with some of the pig blood drippings for that extra pizazz. That would be pretty surprising.
(See, it's the pigs heart that ties it all together.)
Linus and his wife Tove, who is a six-time Finnish national karate champion, met back in 1993 when Linus was teaching a course. He asked the students to send him an e-mail as a test and Tove sent him an e-mail asking for a date (and threatening to break his geeky body worse than his boot loader, should he refuse). And people wonder why Linus has an aversion to mobile phones! Sorry, this was supposed to be a romantic story... Umm, Linus fell... in love with Tove's roundhouse kick.
When that happens, might I suggest the perfect date: Dim the lights, snuggle up close and watch the Aliens movie together.
Sedate? IANAL, but that's just got to be asking for trouble, at least north of the M-D line.
Nothing says I love you better than "Here, sweetheart, I killed these for you!"
not much, just being forced to manually insert line breaks into my comment
what might be seen as romantic vs. what might be seen as lame or generic, ... , "Ask Slashdot" isn't really a good place for an answer.
You think?!
I cut off my ear and shipped it in a shoebox to a girl I like.
Haven't heard back from her yet.
Or for impressing a geeky girl once could try to execute an injection attack. Just make sure you use a Trojan or you might spawn unwanted child processes.
Push!!
According to my friend's wife, the ironing board he gave her when they were first married is the worst Valentine's Day gift ever.
If she's into Soduku, make her a VD Day soduku card.
Or better yet, buy some condoms, so you can keep it as regular "V-Day".
So you fingered her till she talked to you? Isnt it supposed to be the other way around? Oh i get it you must live in soviet russia.
I wanted to find a nice middle ground between lovers who like to send affection to one another on Valentine's Day and cynics who just want to dress in black and stab bitches, so a few years ago I started a charity at Swarthmore College called NinjaGram. It's pretty simple. You pay us $3, which goes to some charity or other, and fill out a card with a cute logo, and then shadowy assassins stalk your target on 14 February and surprise them with the card when they least expect it, screaming "NIIIIINJAGRAM!" Classes and events get interrupted a lot on Valentine's Day, but the administrators and faculty and public safety officers buy and receive as many as the students do, and besides who wants to argue with ninjas? This Valentine's Day, black is the new pink.
Hey baby are you ready? I am going to transfer my hot files in to your USB port. Just open up that port and let me slide my hard drive in.
I hate singles awareness day as well :(
And that's the way you do it...
"So after all this, you make my case for me. To end this stalemate, you must die..."
So a new vacuum cleaner is probably not a good idea either.
I sent my geek girl a box of comic books, calligraphy and knitting supplies and a Supergirl camisole.
She lives a thousand miles away so we don't get to see each other very often, but I know she'll at least be happy with her box of geek goodies.
What a coincedence! My girlfriend just got box of comic books, calligraphy, knitting supplies, and a Supergirl camisole in the mail from a "friend". Wait a minute...
I got my Girlfriend pregnant, too.
My wife did not find this romantic - well, back to the Appalachian Trail, I suppose.
"Speaking the Truth in times of universal deceit is a revolutionary act." -- George Orwell
Send her a push notification on her iPhone after each contraction.
She'll love you forever.
I think you'll find this works better if step 2 is "add 3 months"...
... So kids born in early July were the result of an an April fools joke involving contraception that was tampered with?
All generalizations are false, including this one. Mark Twain
You can't beat surprise anal.
Mother, do you think they'll like this sig?
Though a well thought-out stunt may work on a rare occasion, they are much more likely to backfire than a traditional gift. Have flowers and chocolate on hand just in case.
You either need a Redundant Array of Inexpensive Gifts, or a Redundant Array of Inexpensive Girlfriends.
"Science flies us to the moon. Religion flies us into buildings." - Victor Stenger
1. lift lid
2. pee
3. replace lid
4. ???
5. profit!
or a 3 month gestation
either way, alien, you've just outed yourself
intellectual property law is philosophically incoherent. it is your moral duty to ignore it or sabotage it
Yeah, but then she'll just demand another one.
Pessimists.net - as if life wasn't depressing enough.
where people argue about quantum thermodynamics but fail at basic math ;-P
intellectual property law is philosophically incoherent. it is your moral duty to ignore it or sabotage it
Pop!!
and they all gave me guff the next time they saw me, saying it made them look bad.
I think it's just against Dude-Union regulations.
Ice Cream has no bones.
What I'm hoping for is an offer from an organization I've had several interviews with. If I get the offer, I think I might give my current boss a nice card containing a Poem-of-Resignation.
Another idea that isn't quite ready for prime-time is sending lingerie and perfume to a thieving bastard I know in prison. It's not quite ready for prime-time because although he's been caught, he hasn't been to trial/convicted yet.
A card saying "I'd divorce you all over again" containing a coupon for STD screening for my ex-wife would be pretty funny (I caught her cheating).
"Lame" - Galaxar
So this husband forgot Valentine Day and the wife was furious.
She told him in no uncertain terms that tomorrow morning she expected a gift in the driveway that goes from zero to 200 in less than ten seconds - AND IT BETTER BE THERE.
Next morning the husband leaves early. Later the wife awakes and looks out the window to spot a small gift-wrapped box in the driveway. So she puts on a robe and brings the box in the house to open it.
And inside is a brand new bathroom scale.
Eternity: will that be smoking, or non-smoking? I Corinthians 6:9-10
No, it sucks.
Gamingmuseum.com: Give your 3D accelerator a rest.
you missed the "surprising her with an outing just for her .
You mean like, "Guess what, honey? I'm gay!"
You life would be so much easier without one little comma:
That, and I'll watch the kids do the laundry and cooking, and let her have some time to herself - Hummmm
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I was part of a small singing group (a quartet) back in my early college days. The quartet would do four-part singing Valentines as a fundraiser for the music program. I was engaged at the time, and decided to pull one over on my wife to be. While delivering some of the singing valentines in the campus commons area, we sang one after another after another, while the director just shuffled us from table to table. Sometimes we would ask for the target first and deliver a Valentines note or card from our customer. Other times, we would sing first and had over the card afterwards.
We approached the table where my fiancee and her friends were sitting, and then broke into our rendition of "Don't Sit Under the Apple Tree With Anyone Else But Me." At the conclusion of the song, our director announced "To [my fiancee's first name], from Robert," at which time I made myself look shocked and loudly proclaimed, " Who's Robert?!?! ".
When the look of panic set in on her face and she started insisting that she didn't know any Robert, I ended the gag and said, "I know. That was from me." I'm not sure if she really wanted to kill me over the next few minutes, but she was laughing about it shortly thereafter. To this day, 17 years later, she loves telling that story to friends old and new, and we all laugh and laugh and laugh.
~Robert
I use irony whenever I can, but my shirts are still wrinkled...
Make sure you use Y2KY jelly. It allows you to fit four digits into your date instead of two.
Disconnect your television. Do your own research. Draw your own conclusions. They're probably lying. Don't be a sheep.
Show her the star whose distance in light years is approximately equal to her age. The photons reaching our eyes left that star the year she was born.
My wife's age is closest to the star Beta Virginis. I can see it now "So you're saying you want me to be a born again virgin???? *slams door*" Thanks a bunch dude!
These posts express my own personal views, not those of my employer
"Romantic Comedies are popular in large part because they try and reflect what women dream of happening"
So is Twilight. But I'm not sticking my cock in the freezer and then covering it with glitter for anybody.
I didn't realize giving birth is a stack operation until I thought about the impregnation (push) portion of pregnancy followed by the delivery (pop). You guys/girls just earned an annual renewal your geek card.
This was my goal for every Valentines day. Don't worry about what she thinks, think about the story she will tell.
On February 13th, around 11:30 at night back in my college days, I got 3 rolls of ribbon and tied a bow around as many trees as I could between her dorm and her classes. I put a note under her door saying "Every time you see a bow, remember how much I love you". Cheesy, I know. But, she was the talk of the college campus. Word got around that I tied the bows for her, and she felt like the most popular girl in school. That made her feel like a million bucks. Total cost? $15.
It may be cheesy but it made this girl go "aaawwww". AND read it to her husband! (hint hint)
Genius is one percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration, which is why engineers sometimes smell really bad.