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What Are the Best Valentine's Day Stunts?

With the oh-so-dreaded Hallmark holiday on the horizon we are flooded with tips and tricks (mostly designed to sell us things our mates cannot live without) of how to please/capture/sedate the ones we care for. One writer even suggests ways to capture the interest of a geeky girl. That said, what are some of the crazier romantically inspired, geeky V-day stunts or activities that you or someone you know has executed to terrible success or failure?

34 of 470 comments (clear)

  1. Talking to a girl by jayme0227 · · Score: 5, Funny

    I know. It's out there, but, contrary to my expectations, she didn't totally humiliate me in front of everyone in the cafeteria.

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    But then I realized the cable was blue, so I only gave it one star. I hate blue.
    1. Re:Talking to a girl by TrisexualPuppy · · Score: 5, Funny

      I tell mine "Happy VD!" every year, and every year, I am immediately dumped. I just don't get it!

    2. Re:Talking to a girl by ColdWetDog · · Score: 5, Funny

      Maybe she / he / it (????) just figured out your nic.

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      Faster! Faster! Faster would be better!
  2. Always works for me... by grub · · Score: 5, Funny


    Chloroform soaked rags always get me the ladies.

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  3. Press Z or R Twice by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    DO A BARREL ROLL!!!

  4. Re:Get her pregnant by Hatta · · Score: 5, Funny

    Lets see how romantic she thinks giving birth is.

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    Give me Classic Slashdot or give me death!
  5. Re:Surprise. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    I have noticed that my wife tends to really like surprises.

    Like jumping out of the closet with a mask made of beef jerky and a butchers knife with a pigs heart stuck on the end? You could write 'I HEART U' with some of the pig blood drippings for that extra pizazz. That would be pretty surprising.

    (See, it's the pigs heart that ties it all together.)

  6. Re:Get her pregnant by DeadDecoy · · Score: 5, Funny

    When that happens, might I suggest the perfect date: Dim the lights, snuggle up close and watch the Aliens movie together.

  7. Re:Keep it simple by precariousgray · · Score: 5, Funny

    Nothing says I love you better than "Here, sweetheart, I killed these for you!"

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    not much, just being forced to manually insert line breaks into my comment
  8. Re:None whatsoever by flynt · · Score: 4, Funny

    what might be seen as romantic vs. what might be seen as lame or generic, ... , "Ask Slashdot" isn't really a good place for an answer.

    You think?!

  9. Easy by tool462 · · Score: 5, Funny

    I cut off my ear and shipped it in a shoebox to a girl I like.

    Haven't heard back from her yet.

    1. Re:Easy by thewiz · · Score: 5, Funny

      Haven't heard back from her yet.

      [American Sign Language]That's because you cut your ear off![/American Sign Language]

      --
      If "disco" means "I learn" in Latin, does "discothèque" mean "I learn technology"?
    2. Re:Easy by blueturffan · · Score: 5, Funny

      Maybe she already had one -- or it could have been the wrong size. You never know with women.

  10. Or... by dreamchaser · · Score: 4, Funny

    Or for impressing a geeky girl once could try to execute an injection attack. Just make sure you use a Trojan or you might spawn unwanted child processes.

    1. Re:Or... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      Or for impressing a geeky girl once could try to execute an injection attack. Just make sure you use a Trojan or you might spawn unwanted child processes.

      Maybe she would prefer a man-in-the-middle...?

    2. Re:Or... by the_olo · · Score: 5, Funny

      Or for impressing a geeky girl once could try to execute an injection attack. Just make sure you use a Trojan or you might spawn unwanted child processes.

      Maybe she would prefer a man-in-the-middle...?

      That's especially good as a part of a comprehensive penetration testing scenario...

  11. Re:Get her pregnant by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Push!!

  12. Re:None whatsoever by blueturffan · · Score: 5, Funny

    A migraine would be the worst Valentine's day gift ever.

    According to my friend's wife, the ironing board he gave her when they were first married is the worst Valentine's Day gift ever.

  13. Re:finger by someguysomewhere · · Score: 5, Funny

    So you fingered her till she talked to you? Isnt it supposed to be the other way around? Oh i get it you must live in soviet russia.

  14. NinjaGram by __aawimn3783 · · Score: 5, Funny

    I wanted to find a nice middle ground between lovers who like to send affection to one another on Valentine's Day and cynics who just want to dress in black and stab bitches, so a few years ago I started a charity at Swarthmore College called NinjaGram. It's pretty simple. You pay us $3, which goes to some charity or other, and fill out a card with a cute logo, and then shadowy assassins stalk your target on 14 February and surprise them with the card when they least expect it, screaming "NIIIIINJAGRAM!" Classes and events get interrupted a lot on Valentine's Day, but the administrators and faculty and public safety officers buy and receive as many as the students do, and besides who wants to argue with ninjas? This Valentine's Day, black is the new pink.

    1. Re:NinjaGram by Dachannien · · Score: 5, Funny

      and besides who wants to argue with ninjas?

      Uh........ pirates?

  15. Re:Stunts? by llvllatrix · · Score: 5, Funny

    I hate singles awareness day as well :(

  16. Re:Romance isn't dead! by FSWKU · · Score: 4, Funny
    You're going about it all wrong:
    1. Cut a hole in the box
    2. Put your junk in that box
    3. Make her open the box

    And that's the way you do it...

    --
    "So after all this, you make my case for me. To end this stalemate, you must die..."
  17. Re:I think I did OK for my geek girl by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    I sent my geek girl a box of comic books, calligraphy and knitting supplies and a Supergirl camisole.

    She lives a thousand miles away so we don't get to see each other very often, but I know she'll at least be happy with her box of geek goodies.

    What a coincedence! My girlfriend just got box of comic books, calligraphy, knitting supplies, and a Supergirl camisole in the mail from a "friend". Wait a minute...

  18. Re:Get her pregnant by Philip+K+Dickhead · · Score: 5, Funny

    I got my Girlfriend pregnant, too.

    My wife did not find this romantic - well, back to the Appalachian Trail, I suppose.

    --
    "Speaking the Truth in times of universal deceit is a revolutionary act." -- George Orwell
  19. Re:Get her pregnant by jo_ham · · Score: 4, Funny

    Send her a push notification on her iPhone after each contraction.

    She'll love you forever.

  20. Re:this was a fun game in junior high by mother_reincarnated · · Score: 4, Funny

    I think you'll find this works better if step 2 is "add 3 months"...

  21. Re:this was a fun game in junior high by rrhal · · Score: 4, Funny

    ... So kids born in early July were the result of an an April fools joke involving contraception that was tampered with?

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    All generalizations are false, including this one. Mark Twain
  22. Re:Surprise. by Hogwash+McFly · · Score: 5, Funny

    You can't beat surprise anal.

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    Mother, do you think they'll like this sig?
  23. Re:Note to /. readers... by vlm · · Score: 5, Funny

    Though a well thought-out stunt may work on a rare occasion, they are much more likely to backfire than a traditional gift. Have flowers and chocolate on hand just in case.

    You either need a Redundant Array of Inexpensive Gifts, or a Redundant Array of Inexpensive Girlfriends.

    --
    "Science flies us to the moon. Religion flies us into buildings." - Victor Stenger
  24. welcome to slashdot by circletimessquare · · Score: 4, Funny

    where people argue about quantum thermodynamics but fail at basic math ;-P

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  25. Re:Get her pregnant by DogAlmity · · Score: 5, Funny

    Pop!!

  26. Re:None whatsoever by operagost · · Score: 5, Funny

    No, it sucks.

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    Gamingmuseum.com: Give your 3D accelerator a rest.
  27. Remember 4-digit years! by infinite9 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Make sure you use Y2KY jelly. It allows you to fit four digits into your date instead of two.

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