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Raleigh Councilman Offers Child Naming Rights To Google

Posted by samzenpus on from the youtube-is-your-godfather dept.

Anonymous Meoward writes "In what may be the weirdest perk proposed by a municipal authority to entice business, city councilman Bonner Gaylord has offered to name his unborn children Sergey and Larry, after the founders of Google. All he wants in return is the search giant to build its proposed high-speed fiber-optic network in Raleigh."

25 of 121 comments (clear)

  1. Asshole by DoofusOfDeath · · Score: 5, Insightful

    So his kid may have to go through life with an arbitrarily bad name, because it will help this guy's career and/or home town?

    I wonder what other kinds of crap this guy is going to pull over the next 18 years. Poor kid.

    1. Re:Asshole by dingen · · Score: 5, Funny

      His kids will be Gaylords, no matter what he calls 'em.

      --
      Pretty good is actually pretty bad.
    2. Re:Asshole by Rhaban · · Score: 5, Funny

      Sergey or Gary Gaylord can't be worse names than Bonner Gaylord.

    3. Re:Asshole by Manfre · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Sergey and Larry are not really bad names considering his kids will already be teased for their last name. It's not like he's going to name the kids "Adolf Hitler Gaylord" or "Sarah Palin Gaylord", like those other parent of the year candidates. I would feel bad for a girl if she was named Sergey or Larry.

      I'm curious if Google would rip out all the fiber if/when Mr Gaylord fails to provide children.

    4. Re:Asshole by dingen · · Score: 4, Funny

      At least it's not Boner Gaylord.

      --
      Pretty good is actually pretty bad.
    5. Re:Asshole by SatanicPuppy · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Yea, well it'd have to be better than Boner Gaylord Jr, now wouldn't it?

      Seriously, what's he got to lose?

      --
      ad logicam Claiming a proposition is false because it was presented as the conclusion of a fallacious argument.
    6. Re:Asshole by dingen · · Score: 2, Funny

      Boner Gaylord Jr

      Are we still talking about his child?

      --
      Pretty good is actually pretty bad.
    7. Re:Asshole by krou · · Score: 4, Funny

      Sergey and Larry are not really bad names considering his kids will already be teased for their last name

      Not until the one kid gets the nickname Sir Gay Gaylord.

      --
      'If Christ had tweeted the sermon on the mount, it might have lasted until nightfall.' - John Perry Barlow
    8. Re:Asshole by ThiagoHP · · Score: 2, Interesting

      Sergey or Gary Gaylord can't be worse names than Bonner Gaylord.

      In Portuguese, "Sergey" is pronounced exactly like "ser gay", which means "to be gay". Sergey Gaylord would be quite amusing. :P

    9. Re:Asshole by Wyatt+Earp · · Score: 2

      Really? Sarah Palin is now up with Adolf Hitler?

      Pol Pot, Iosif Stalin, Mao, Glenn Beck, now those are up with Hitler, but who did Sarah Palin kill?

      Sarah is a perfectly good name.

  2. Leave the guy alone. by GNUALMAFUERTE · · Score: 5, Funny

    Maybe he's internet-starved. You would sell your mother and all your future generations for some sweet bandwidth ;)

    --
    WTF am I doing replying to an AC at 5 A.M on a Friday night?
  3. I'll do better than that: clone army by cerberusss · · Score: 2, Funny

    city councilman Bonner Gaylord has offered to name his unborn children Sergey and Larry, after the founders of Google

    I'll do better than that. If Google builds a high-speed fiber-optic network to my apartment block, I will create an army of clones, each platoon named after either Sergey or Larry.

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    8 of 13 people found this answer helpful. Did you?
    1. Re:I'll do better than that: clone army by clone53421 · · Score: 4, Funny

      Am I supposed to register somewhere?

      --
      Alexander Peter Kristopeit bought his basement from his mommy for one dollar.
  4. Oh, It's a revenge! by GNUALMAFUERTE · · Score: 2, Funny

    FTFA:

    RALEIGH, N.C. — Raleigh City Councilman Bonner Gaylord

    Ok, please sit down and think about it. This guy's name is BONNER GAYLORD.

    He's just trying to get back at his parents, by giving his kids horrible names. Bonner Gaylord. //Goes to check The Onion, to make sure the story wasn't pulled from there

    --
    WTF am I doing replying to an AC at 5 A.M on a Friday night?
  5. Think of the children! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    If your father were named "Boner Gaylord" you would want someone outside the gene pool to name you too. Might as well be Google.

  6. Just one moment... by Redlemons · · Score: 2, Funny

    This story is 3 days early.

  7. I'll spin the straw into gold. by Culture20 · · Score: 4, Interesting

    But in return, you must give me your first born child.

  8. CREEPY CREEPY CREEPY by macbeth66 · · Score: 2, Funny

    If it were my company, and this guy proposed such a thing, the LAST thing I would do is consider his city. I would want to be at least several states away.

    Someone get the butterfly net...

    1. Re:CREEPY CREEPY CREEPY by BitZtream · · Score: 2, Interesting

      Too bad they have a data center a few hundred miles away. Raleigh and Google have a rather good relationship, Raleigh has given Google massive tax breaks to get them to move into Lenor. Being that those tax breaks come out of my wallet, the least they can do is put some fiber in my neighborhood for me.

      Sadly, I live in Cary, which is one of raleighs outlaying cities ... we probably won't get hooked up and will get left being raped by Time Warner when they raise the price to compensate.

      --
      Persistent Volume manager for Kubernetes - https://github.com/dwimsey/openshift-pvmanager
  9. Who do we work for anymore? by The+Angry+Mick · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Ourselves or the fucking corporations? Have we sunk so low that we're offering our CHILDREN up to the gods of corporate benevolence?

    And how much do you want to bet that along with the offer of surrendering his offspring's identity, there's an additional offer of either a hefty tax break, or even a free pass?

    --

    I'm not tense. I'm just terribly, terribly, alert.

  10. Touching by tarscher · · Score: 4, Funny

    Touching what men wants to do to download porn at high speed.

  11. Espn Real by tepples · · Score: 2, Interesting

    Have we sunk so low that we're offering our CHILDREN up to the gods of corporate benevolence?

    If so, it's nothing new. Case in port: Espn Real.

  12. Not the weirdest proposed by a municipal authority by homey+of+my+owney · · Score: 3, Funny

    Many years ago, the town of Radium Hot Springs, New Mexico, offered to change their name to "Truth or Consequences" to win a prize from the TV show of the same name. They thought it would bring in business, and notoriety. It's still a pretty quiet town, though it does have an amusing name... especially when the abbreviation (T or C) is pronounced as a word.

  13. Lesser of three evils... by jwoah12 · · Score: 2, Funny

    If you look on the bright side, it prevents the kid from being called Bonner Junior (B.J. Gaylord).

  14. Re:humanity by SteveFoerster · · Score: 3, Funny

    This guy is a politician that would do anything to get himself advanced in politics and it seems as if he would sell his first born to the devil if he could.

    First and second born, actually, although on the other hand it's not like he's offering to name the kids William Gates Gaylord and Steven Ballmer Gaylord.

    --
    Space game using normal deck of cards: http://BattleCards.org