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NASA Launches Giant Magnifying Glass Into Space
ByronScott writes "Early this morning NASA kicked off Operation LENS, an ambitious plan to concentrate and collect solar power using a giant magnifying glass in outer space. Long speculated to be a rumor, the 7,000,000 ft. wide lens was fabricated over the course of the past three years and launched from Cape Canaveral much to the dismay of almost every scientist in the world. While the first phase went exactly as planned, the plan hit a major snag when the magnifying glass began to work a bit too well, and ended up scorching large regions in the western hemisphere."
Just make it stop. Next headline:
Slashdot Completely Worthless For a Day
Please stop now.
If libertarians are so opposed to effective government, why don't they all move to Somalia?
I hope someone sheds some light on this problem.
Humanity is Dead. Here comes the Death-ray.
Computers can reverse entropy.
Doesn't this sound like a plot device from a recent James Bond movie?
...these goddamn videos are the worst. At least the folks @ /. are having fun, I guess.
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I'm going to go to the roof of my house and Moon NASA.
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... after magnifying glass 2.0 is launched in the fall.
Same burning complaints back in the early 00's and even the 99's. At least now we have tags that shed light on the subject (so to speak).
Tomorrow will a brighter day, especially on the Left Coast.
posts they can make in one day?
I get cut off at some point for too much posting, why the fuck don't you bastards cut yourselves off for being retarded too?
Persistent Volume manager for Kubernetes - https://github.com/dwimsey/openshift-pvmanager
...should have a surface vaneer of plausibility. This doesn't.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reason_(short_story)
Asimov did it first, but we don't have the AI to handle the beam.
coffee | nose > keyboard
This is not 1/1000 as bad as the Year of OMGPOnies. Figure approximately 120 stories, all in a horrible pink color scheme and done with a stereotypical valley-girl dialect. About half were ThinkGeek advertisements, and the other half ridiculous april fool stories.
They did say "From here those guys are so small, they look like ants!"
I've abandoned my search for truth; now I'm just looking for some useful delusions.
The jokes have to be really outlandish, otherwise certain people take them seriously.
Example:
Headline: Apple invents iDead - Apple unveiled today a revolutionary, magically device that kills people.
Result: Obviously a joke, no one will take it seriously.
Headline: Apple invents iEye - Apple today unveiled a revolutionary, magically device that integrates with the optic nerve to restore sight to blind people.
Result: People believe it, Apple stock goes way up. People get rich. Once it is found to be a joke (it is believable because some companies have made inroads to this, but the name should have given it away...I mean, iEye? But then again, iPad is just as bad). Apple stock plummets. People get bankrupt.
I believe April Fool's jokes have, in the past, screwed with stocks.
Hmm, I should proof-read my posts more often.
Compared to this, I miss the ponies! Maybe next year we can get kitties. Cute, adorable kitties. Meow.
My brain is getting repetitive strain injury from all this April fool jokes. If the next news is about the Ubuntu security update setting up a bot-net, I might just ignore it.
OMG! The roulette! ZOMG. Too damned funny.
that NASA is finally going to defend us from a future of giant ant overlords.
I'm loving the 4/1 stuff, keep it comin'
The Kruger Dunning explains most post on
I like it.
You should just go away.
The Kruger Dunning explains most post on
At least some of the jokes made me groan in pain as they hurt my funny bone. This one is just so... mundane, and unclever. I just sighed at the stupidity of it.
Do you even look at whats posted in comments?
Yes. They see their ad-counter spinning like mad $$$$ at twits like you bitching about it.
"I like to lick butts!" by MobileTatsu-NJG (#32700246) (Score:5, Informative)
This is the way of it now. It's been going this direction for years now. deal with it.
Welcome our new insect-overlord-destroying overlords.
Seriously, something along the lines of your comment was the first thing I thought of when I saw the story.
Not sure what that makes me, but what the hell...
General Relativity: Space-time tells matter where to go; Matter tells space-time what shape to be.
I get it. I get jokes.
Shiny. Let's be bad guys...
Meow indeed.
Likewise, I too thought it was cool, when 1 in 5 was a joke, but now, it is way too many, I almost stopped reading /. altogether today because of it....and I really don't like giving up my /.
Keep it comin'
The Kruger Dunning explains most post on
And yet, you post the same drivel multiple times in each story. Is your life so empty that you cannot stop reading Slashdot, even if you find it so dumb as to inflict physical pain on you?
Those who can, do. Those who can't, sue.
When the entire site is nothing but "pranks", it sort of defeats the whole purpose of the day. Cya tomorrow slashdot.
You would think people would have figured out how terrible /. was five years ago and moved on to more clever internet sites, like Fark. (Replying to remove a wrong moderation, bleah.)
Libertarians somehow believe that private businesses should be stronger than governments but weaker than individuals.
This would have been a lot funnier if it was even remotely realistic. How much would a 7.000.000 ft glass lens weigh anyway? Good luck getting a rocket big enough.
At least it's good to see Dr. Honeydew found a new job after the Muppet Show was cancelled...
Beware ET, "Somebody's watching meeee!'
The Canim community frowns upon your shenanigans.
He put his boots up on the table and made a face. "The sig," he smirked. "You can waste your life in search of the sig."
Just from the headline, I knew it was prank. And that was before I remembered today is April Fool Day. What is really funny about attempting to trick people? So they might look stupid .... and that would make you look smart? To whom?
Wow. Thats a big contact lens, imagine the size of the eye.
It's April 2nd here, you insensitive clods!
The magnifying glass is scorching only the Western Hemisphere because it's been placed in a geosynchronous orbit. NASA is rumored to be preparing to reposition it to LaGrangian Point L1 to provide a greater degree of stability, provided that they can account for positional oscillation resulting from the moon revolving around the Earth. Meanwhile, the Smithsonian's National Air and Space Museum is preparing to return the Hubble Space Telescope's COSTAR lens to NASA for refurbishing and redeployment to correct LENS' focal length for its new location.
Aside from being able to put away our asbestos suits, another direct benefit of placement at L1 is a smaller footprint in the sky, letting more of the sun's light reach Earth.
The article claims that the lens scorched areas in Western hemisphere while the picture shows it burning things in Eastern hemisphere (though still pretty close to the Greenwich meridian).
Contrary to the popular belief, there indeed is no God.
Good thing I couldn't get online for too long yesterday, and thus missed reading the Slashdot stories. I can read those now instead of the useless unfunny overdone crap we're getting today.
I know it's an April Fools prank, but the lady down the street thinks this has already happened to the World Trade Center! She has been posting flyers for about 2 years now. She also thinks my dog (black lab) is a member of the CIA in disguise keeping an eye on her. Oh man, I am laughing so hard just thinking about it again.
Fact
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