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What Advice For a Single Parent As Server Admin?
Dragon_Eater, with "lots of experience setting up PCs and a passable knowledge of Linux but severely lacking in the server/client department,"
writes with a situation that probably faces a lot of parents:
I want to set up three kids, 12, 14, and 15, with newer computers so they will stop fighting for time on the one ten-year-old Dell they share now. I can get the individual computers and a server put together without any problems, but the computer-handicapped single parent needs to be able to do the following via an simple application/web page: View client computer status, On/off, sleeping etc.; Deny Internet access, not LAN, just the web; Schedule time usage of computer, ex. 7 am to 10 pm on school nights etc.; Force log-out and/or shutdown of clients, for grounding purposes; and Apply some kind of firewall filter for blocking undesired web content. And as the administrator for this network I would like the following options: Remote virus scanning of client machines, or scheduled task; Some kind of hardware monitor, high temp / fan speed low etc.; and Email alerts for various log files / alarms.
Given the lists above I am thinking about a Linux-based router/server machine and running Windows on the clients for game compatibility. I also know that a server and network boot client is possible but not sure where to start on that one."
the simplest and most effective block is to go over and shut the computer off. Take away the computer if you have to (or just the cords if that's too much trouble).
That, or they'll just start using the neighbours' WiFi
Seriously! Just stop!
1. You either come up with a "normal" computer usage policy, you know, talking to your kids about stuff like porn, sex, appropriate computer policy in your house (better not be too strict on this one :P), purpose of getting them the computers, internet privacy, etc, or,
2. don't and the kids will get to all the "inappropriate" places anyway and may get you into more trouble than you ever imagined.
Frankly, you can't "filter" porn. If someone wants to get it, they will. Maybe this is one of the good sides of internet porn - parents forced to deal with sex-ed of their kids. Although most go the "easy way" and pretend it doesn't exist - "but I installed a filter!!"
Second, I would be much more nervous about insisting that your kids DO NOT use any of the file sharing software without prior permission, on case-by-case basis. Explain about the MAFIA, I mean, MPAA and the like on their lawsuit campaigns.
Regardless, your solutions are *parenting* human solutions, not technical ones.
I'm doing something similar but in our family, we've got a 7 and an 8 year old and a 3 year old, so it's a different "ball game".
In our situation, I don't bother trying to put Linux on any of their machines. I've found that for the younger kids, the vast majority of their time spent playing anything Internet/web-based involves Shockwave Flash based sites (or sites using other proprietary 3D player plug-ins). Unfortunately, nothing runs this stuff quite as well as either a Windows XP (or later) OS, or a newer Mac running a recent version of OS X.
I found a free add-on for Firefox called Kidzui that was pretty nice. It basically turns the browser into a "kids' browser" that has a "home page" with good suggested sites for them to visit, and lets them click and explore around in a big collection of known "kid safe" web sites. Basically, it doesn't allow going anyplace except sites they pre-approved, but they make the whole experience feel like the kid is just getting around the net without restrictions. Additionally, it can email the parent weekly stats on the sites they spent the most time using, etc.
If you're using a Mac, OS X has pretty nice parental controls built into the OS for things like not allowing use of the machine after certain hours. I didn't find Windows had nearly as nice of capabilities for that, out of the box (though Windows 7 was closer than any previous version of Windows to offering it).
Honestly, I'm not that "sold" on putting forth the effort of setting up a lot of centralized administration and maintenance for the machines on a small home network (like for 3 kids). You may as well put free anti-virus/spyware software on each computer and let them auto update themselves independently. The products that support centralized management of the AV software tend to be expensive and/or buggy. (You get weirdness like one box that gets out of sync with the server console, so you have to mess with things to get them to both be on the "same page" about the workstation's status again.)
If anything, I think it'd be worthwhile to image the drives of all the machines, once they're freshly set up with the OS and applications and configuration defaults you like. Then, if one gets screwed up, you can just wipe its drive and re-image at will from your network server. Typically, on a kids' PC, they don't have that much important data to worry about losing anyway. If they're doing most things on the net, the sites they use are saving their high scores, user profiles, and such.
As a parent, you are supposed to exert some control over your children. That is why they are called children... That are not yet adults, and are not yet expected to show adult responsibility.
Yes - and you exert that control by talking to them, occasionally looking over their shoulder and showing them some amount of trust, not by installing a totalitarian regime in your home. Technology does not substitute for parenting.
Ubi solitudinem faciunt, pacem appellant.
Where N is the number of computer users and you want them in a shared space, not in each child's room. Providing each child a personal computer, especially in his room, is a guarantee that any kind of interaction between you and your kids and between themselves will end. Ensuring computer "scarcity" will force you and, more importantly, your kids to interact with each other. It may even force you and your kids, gasp, to share a computer.
This also has a couple side benefits:
1. There are no "secrets" on the computers so you have no need for the tight monitoring and/or policing you seem to think you want.
2. Virus infections become a shared painful experience with obvious lessons being learned on how to avoid it the next time.
HW monitoring is kind of pointless as it won't tell you anything.
This only leaves you with a couple problems to deal with:
1. backup - there are plenty of backup solutions out there. Generally, you'll want some kind of external drive setup with automated user data backups.
2. virus recovery - If you like anti-virus software, use it. However, you should probably also keep a fresh install method handy so you can simply re-install without having to deal with the mess (this is where a good backup becomes very important). Taken a step further and to save lots of time you could have all your machines running VM hosted Windows images. Then when one of the images gets infected or otherwise "goes bad" you simply revert to the latest and greatest clean VM image (user data backup is still very important).
Never said it did. But occasionally you have to clean the house, cook dinner, go to the bathroom. Not all of us have the leisure to hover over children all day. Especially a single parent, as referred to in the post. This is just a gateway, not a solution. It will never be perfect, and it will require an attentive parent. I would also say keep ALL of the computers in the living room. With less privacy, they are less likely to "cheat" the filters. The old "Daylight is the best disinfectant" sort of thing.
I remember when I was a teenager.
My dad added a power on password on the basis that he utterly detested games.
The problem was he didn't even give it to my mother.
Of course one day I actually needed to print something in a fucking hurry and he couldn't be contacted so I solved the problem with a screwdriver and the motherboard manual.
Which brings up the problem of physical access.
All the software in the world is pointless if the teenager can simply swap some network cables.
What they NEED to do is supervise what their kids are doing - not leave it up to the server - the kids will get around that SO quick.
All you're doing is giving a false sense of security.
Put the computers where the single parent can SEE the kids using them. And they can see each other. If you start hearing lots of giggling, check to see if they're looking at porn. Also, the kids will snitch on each other if they can see what they're doing.
I am having a laugh riot at the idea of a household consisting of a single parent, a 12 year old, a 14 year old, and a 15 year old being run as a democracy.
Shutting down free speech with violence isn't fighting fascism. It IS fascism!
I'm losing some mod points by posting this, but I didn't notice the ages here -- 12, 14, and 15? Let them have some old/spare computers if they want. Show them where to download a virus scanner and tell them that if they break anything, they have to fix it. I don't see what the issue is here. They are going to have homework the requires the Internet anyway, so shutting down access after 10pm and in the early morning is just going to hurt them. By the way, my middle and high schools implemented strict filtering schemes on their networks. We had to put a fair amount of effort into getting around them *not* because we wanted to browse facebook/myspace/b/ at school, but because we often did research for our essays on school computers, and we wanted actual, balanced evidence, rather than the limited and biased crap that the filters let through.
This is one area where Linux amazingly has been lacking. Home Domain Controllers. You can create a home domain controller with features Windows has never dreamed. Its just really really, really too hard. There needs to be a Home Domain controller Application added to most Linux Distributions.
Mandriva comes close to this with the ability to setup fully functional Samba Domains stand-alone only. But if you try and configure OpenLDAP, Kerberos, Squid, FreeRadius or anything else, it becomes a time vampire to get it all working right. And its not that the software is buggy. Its that often, the software is configured badly, and not at all.
https://qa.mandriva.com/show_bug.cgi?id=58653 Take a look at this bug I filed.
Keeping an eye on your kids is not the same thing as having a totalitarian regime. I think that logging what your kids do and when is completely acceptable. Whether you reveal this information to them or not is a different story.
When I was a teenager, I got in all kinds of mischief. It turns out that my parents knew about pretty much all of it, but I did not know about this at the time. They didn't interfere unless they thought that I was getting into something over my head... like when I became very depressed, for a long period of time, and I bought myself a bottle of sleeping pills. That was an important intervention.
Children have no right to privacy. Teenagers chafe at the idea, of course, but the fact is that they are children, and good parenting means making decisions that are in their best interests, not their greatest desires. When they're able to weigh their actions with the consequences of those actions (i.e., becoming an adult), then they get privacy.
When your daughter starts googling birth control, it's time to have a chat.
Agreed. The whole project could be tackled this way: content filtering firewall of some sort + take away the power cords when the kids are in trouble.
Don't take life so seriously. No one makes it out alive.
So you are ok with your kids being on AIM all day looking for older guys who make them feel special? Or surfing porn all day? Or, even doing what you want and accidentally running across goatse guy? He's not looking to be the gestapo. He's looking to have some basic protections in place to protect his children from the unsavory parts of the Internet, and to make sure that they don't abuse the priviledge of having a computer in their rooms.
Sure, he could fix this by doing what he does now, having one computer for all three in a public place. But he's trying to improve their access, not limit it. And he just wants to make sure that improvement isn't abused.
Learn to love Alaska
I hate to sound like an ass, but if you're so scared of what your kids are going to do when you leave for 5 minutes, you're not doing your job as a parent. If they're 2, sure, hover over them - my brother got into our fireplace and covered with ash, as well as took every big sharp steak knife out of a childproofed door in about 30 seconds of 'not there'.
But if your kids are old enough to use the internet, and you're seriously worried they'll burn the house down while you're in the can - you and your kids have a problem that a firewall won't fix.
My parents raised me with the assumption that I wouldn't pull any stupid shit, made sure I knew what was stupid, and made me dislike coming off as stupid. That's really all it took.
I have developed a truly marvelous proof of this comment, which this signature is too narrow to contain.
Extra-agreed.
the computer-handicapped single parent needs to be able to do the following
OK...
via an simple application/webpage:
Why must it be a webpage?
View client computer status, On/off, sleeping etc.;
Walk into room (quietly, if necessary). See if there's a big, square light. If it's daytime this is a window, if it's night it's a computer screen.
I moved my PC when I was about 15 so it couldn't be seen from my bedroom door. My dad moved it back, so he could see it before I knew he was there.
Deny internet access, not LAN, just the web;
Unplug it (I doubt LAN access is necessary). Or say, "if I see you using the web tonight you're banned from the computer for the rest of the week".
I'm not going to bother going further.
Number one priority is figure out the exit plan.
In "about three years" by yer own figures, the oldest is going to be utterly and completely totally free, at college or whatever. In less than a year, total freedom for limited time periods behind the wheel, visiting stores and other peoples houses, etc.
Building a better cage is not going to help the kids relate, when they're finally released/paroled into society.
Which kids have the biggest problems at 14? The kids of "anything goes" parents. Which kids have the biggest problems at 19? The kids of overprotective parents. On average, 14 year olds can get into less trouble than 19 year olds. So, teach them responsibilities of freedom at 14 with your guidance, not 19 and alone.
"Science flies us to the moon. Religion flies us into buildings." - Victor Stenger
The thing is, the requirements are extra-detailed and a little anal, which make them seem over-the-top, but they basically boil down to:
(1) Restrict internet usage to normal times so the kids don't stay up until three am on a school night. Reasonable.
(2) Revoke access as a punishment. Kids have been getting grounded for how long?
(3) Block access to some sites. Entirely reasonable if you're talking really bad sites or malware infected stuff. It doesn't necessarily equate to some active proxy reading their facebook posts. Besides, I'm sure the kids don't want to see goatse any more than you.
I'm sure plenty of good parents keep guns in a safe and liquor in a locked liquor cabinet. Obviously a gun or booze is more dangerous than the internet, I'm not trying to equate them, but there are advantages to a layered system of trust. Technology and good parenting aren't mutually exclusive.
Can you construct some sort of rudimentary lathe?
The parent is described as "computer-handicapped", so let's put it in terms he or she will understand: Consider, instead those old-fashed toys of yesteryear. Or consider the TV which many kids of my generation had in their rooms.
Could you imagine a parent asking that his children's toys will automatically stop working on 10pm? Or that his TV cannot be turned on when the child is grounded, or perhaps show only certain channels at certain times? Or the toys checking themselves and letting the parent know when one of them gets broken?
This is all ridiculous, of course. With toys and TV you simply couldn't even imagine doing this. With a computer you can *imagine* doing it, but it doesn't mean it makes sense to do it. A child will always find ways to break such technological rules, especially if the parent is so-called "computer-handicapped".
I like to follow the KISS principle (keep it simple), because I don't like major projects or headaches. The MAIN issue here is that you've got 3 kids and 1 computer, so my solution would be to get 1 computer per kid. Ebay sells used XP laptops for about $100 plus shipping. Buy 3.
I'd put all 3 computers in a "computer room" that opens at 6am and closes at 10pm, plus allows me to monitor what my kids are doing. Not that I mind them looking at nudie pics or whatever, but I'd still want to be AWARE of what's going on inside my own house (i.e. not in their bedroom stripping for their boyfriend via webcam, and I don't know about it). When they go off to college then they'll have a private room to privately surf the net.
Since I only have one DSL modem, I'd have to get a new hub which allows 3 connections: 1 per computer. Or maybe a wireless router, although I still prefer wired connections, for security reasons.
So to summarize: I'd buy 1 laptop per kid, at a total cost of about $300, and limited to usage in a public computer room so they'll stop fighting over the single Dell desktop.
IMHO.
Please don't mod me down just cause you disagree.
"I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." - historian Evelyn Beatrice Hall
Or...focus on logging instead of actual restriction. Make sure they know what they can and can't do, and if the logs show they're frequently abusing the machines, do some parenting.
So you are ok with your kids being on AIM all day looking for older guys who make them feel special?
If a teen is looking for older guys to make them feel special, she is already emotionally vulnerable and needs some help. Cutting off the computer/internet without providing some support will just make her look for someone in real life.
Or surfing porn all day?
Pretty much the same deal. Your job as a parent is not to pretend that porn does not exist, but to explain that the behaviors depicted in it are unrealistic and often unhealthy.
Or, even doing what you want and accidentally running across goatse guy?
Look, sooner or later your precious little angel will see that pic. He or she will also see many other disgusting things, both in real life, on television, and on the web. You can't prevent that, but hopefully you can give enough context to allow little Junior or Princess to assimilate it and get on with his or her life.
He's not looking to be the gestapo. He's looking to have some basic protections in place to protect his children from the unsavory parts of the Internet, and to make sure that they don't abuse the priviledge of having a computer in their rooms.
Look at the age ranges again. They're not going to accept those kinds of top-down restrictions blindly. They'll get that you don't trust them, aren't telling them what they can't see, and become naturally curious about it. And since you've given them no background or explanation at all, they'll have no frame of reference for assimilating it in a healthy way.
Ask the two oldest kids for technical support? You can put up any barrier you want but they will find a way around it.
Seriously: At that age you can guide them but you can't control them. Keep the machine(s) in a public area of the house. Observe what they are doing. Talk to them. The most important thing is to be honest with them. At that point in life you are preparing them to leave the nest. In 3 or 4 years they will ready to leave and face a world without parental controls or filters. Prepare them the best you can and have some confidence in them. Letting go is very difficult.
you got a whole deal of connectivity/administration project there. quit your day job.
At home or in the work place, nothing says "I don't trust you" quite like Nazi parental controls.
These posts express my own personal views, not those of my employer
What they need is a parent and Cisco is a lousy one.
Nice quip, but completely wrong. You just made the argument that you should never put a lock on the cabinet under the sink with all the nasty chemicals because if you use a lock, then you are having that lock be the parent and that lock is a lousy parent. You don't abandon locks on dangerous chemicals because using a lock means you are a bad parent. I've taught my kids to not go under the sink. And they don't. And there's a lock on it anyway. I guess by your reasoning I'm a bad parent using a lock for a parent, but I'd rather have the lock than to find my 3 year old drank drain-o.
It's possible to use technology (like a lock on a cabinet) to assist you in being a parent.
And don't put the PC in their room. Putting the PCs in the family room is not limiting access. Putting down firewalls and time limits is limiting.
Great, so you are telling the person asking the question that they are doing wrong. "How do I fix my Toyota?" and your answer is "Screw Toyota, get a bicycle." It might be the better solution, but isn't an answer to the question asked. They want to get the PC out of the shared space. They want to get it in the rooms. So how do they do that best? Your answer? "Don't do it." I understand your answer, but it isn't an answer to the question asked, and I've been confining my comments to the question asked. If you have fundamental issues with the question itself, then everything you say is off topic.
Learn to love Alaska
I totally understand where you are coming from, but I think restriction might be the better option. Logs will allow you to see if your child is visiting sites you do not approve of, but it won't make the 12 year old unsee that video of "Hot Asian slut taking it in all three holes at once". (I'd assume this is one of the things that he is trying to filter out). Also, it may not be the child's intent to go look at said video. It might be a bait and switch link that takes them there, some malware infestation, the 15 year old jumping on the 12 year old's machine to do his porn surfing, or some other scenario where it really isn't the 12 year old's fault.
Plus, depending on how much surfing the kids are doing, there could be a pretty big list of logs to go through every day.
And of course the biggest issue.....do you think the parent has the time for the hours of talk/psychological help that would be required if one of the kids ran into goatse.cx? One bad click and the kid would be damaged for life. The parent could only hold the child as they rocked back and forth trying to sleep but unable to remove the image that has burned itself into the retinas.
This is all awesome stuff, but really when confronted with all of this I would just go next door or go to the library to look up what I wanted on the net and email whoever I pleased (facebook etc..) and so will these kids.
limiting Kids is not going to teach them anything you have to educate to do the right thing.
It said "windows 98 or better" so I installed Linux
Heh, I had a computer in my room with internet when I was 14... As did my two younger brothers at a similar age.
Luckily my parents are fairly open about anything would not block me from accessing anything. I knew that if there was anything I was curious about I could look it up.. If I did not understand it I would just ask either my mom or dad depending on what the subject was.
Being a 14 year old boy of course I started collecting various pieces of 'art' and had an extensive collection by the time I was 16 :-p
Now.... Did this damage me or turn me into a serial killer or rapist? Nope. Neither of my brothers are nutters either *chuckles*
Having two teachers as parents can be quite nice. Of course it did mean that logic was king. If I could reasonably argue why I should be allowed to do something I was allowed to do something. Whining did not work -at all-. Presenting a reasonable set of arguments for my position always did (asssuming they agreed, which they usually did).
Learning these things is essential to any kid/youth. I personally think many of the problems in the world now are based on people not learning basic skills regarding how to communicate.. Especially regarding disagreements.
Meh, I'm getting ranty now and should be at work... :-p
No it's not.
It is more like; take a active interest in your kids lives, talk to them even about the hard subjects. Let them learn from your experiences and mistakes. Don't rely on technology, other people and laws to do your job for you.
Bring up kids _IS_ the hardest/most rewarding thing you (or anyone) will ever do.
It said "windows 98 or better" so I installed Linux