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Woman Claims Wii Fit Caused Persistent Sexual Arousal Syndrome
Amanda Flowers always liked her Wii Fit but now she can't get enough of it. Amanda claims a fall from her balance board damaged a nerve and has left her suffering from persistent sexual arousal syndrome. From the article: "The catering worker said: 'It began as a twinge down below before surging through my body. Sometimes it built up into a trembling orgasm.' A doctor diagnosed her with persistent sexual arousal syndrome due to a damaged nerve."
> Single Amanda, 24, from Harpurhey, Manchester,
Dear Amanda,
Please contact me offline. Although I will be straight forward and admit right away that I can't cure you, I still have something that might help you live an happier life with the syndrome.
Truly yours,
Everything I write is lies, read between the lines.
Woman Claims Nerve Damage Caused Persistent Sexual Arousal Syndrome. Doctors Unsurprised.
Woman Further Claims That Falling On The Floor Can Cause Nerve Damage. Doctors Still Unsurprised.
Woman Then Observes That Balancing On A Small Piece Of Plastic Can Result In Falling On The Floor. Doctors Remain Unsurprised.
Hey, you know what else can "cause" persistent sexual arousal syndrome? Basically anything.
Breaking Into the Industry - A development log about starting a game studio.
Shine a price scanner in her face! That's the cure.
:-D
Then she'll be horny *and* talk dirty all the time.
Haida Manga
Single Amanda, 24, from Harpurhey, Manchester,...
She won't be single for long.
Attention zealots and haters: 00100 00100
... now I am definitely buying it for her this year!
Damn_registrars has no butt-hole. Damn_registrars has no use for a butt-hole.
Woman has Persistent Sexual Arousal Syndrome, now knows what it's like to be a man.
Not a sentence!
Woman Claims Nerve Damage Caused Persistent Sexual Arousal Syndrome. Doctors Unsurprised.
Woman Further Claims That Falling On The Floor Can Cause Nerve Damage. Doctors Still Unsurprised.
Woman Then Observes That Balancing On A Small Piece Of Plastic Can Result In Falling On The Floor. Doctors Remain Unsurprised.
Hey, you know what else can "cause" persistent sexual arousal syndrome? Basically anything.
Have some compassion.
Persistent Sexual Arousal Syndrome is very real. Imagine having an itch that you could never scratch away. An itch that was always there. Now, replace that itch with an erection and a desire to release your semen storage 24/7.
I went through 4 years of it in high-school, and would not wish it upon my worst enemy.
if(Slashdot && Vaginas){
if(sleeping){
wakeup();
else
panic();
}
In soviet russia the government regulates the companies.
You suffer from persistent sexual arousal symptom?
Look here, several other thoroughly researched articles of the highest value to all of us:
How Jeremy Clarkson has a 10 inch dick
How Katie Price's tits could explode during her diving holiday
or
That Skinny Women really don't want to get fat
m( - Facepalm emoticon
This is the first and only time a woman will complain of having too many orgasms.
Chatroulette did the same thing to me.
If I can be modded down for being a troll, can I be modded up for being an orc, or a balrog?
No that would be called a zero sum game, nothing lost for trying.
Got Code?
I bet once she sees some Slashdotters, any sexual arousal she might suffer from will quickly recede.
Make America grate again!
I started life as a 3rd-grade bully, never got good grades, deathly afraid of girls.
By 6th-grade, I was undisputed so became a nerd...could fix any DOS issue on the computers, and wrote QBasic tools on that 286 with it's 2MB of RAM; I watched guys around me start dating girls, for reasons I never new; they would do things with eachother that broke my heart for ever doing such to young girls that I thought had a more holy purpose in life.
By 9th-grade, I seen things that can't be unseen in High School; durring pep rallies, the girls did the nasty-dance while the teachers were looking, and this aggravated me to know that there are pederasts everywhere -- even young, 9th-grade pederasts oogling these sinful angels.
By 10th-grade, I left High School from the 3rd and last beating I would accept from Football team jocks, and I'm sick and tired of the computer teachers asking me to fix their computers for 2 summers in a row just so they can teach Turbo C++/Visual C+Basic Programming and Microsoft Office products.
By the Year 1999, I still aren't looking at people because that's what they want me to do -- I turned 18, and I kept that 1st Beer from that Strange neighbor of mine that I wouldn't drink until Year 2002 when I fought a DA in court.
By the Year 2009, I wonder what about women that I missed --- I look around, and retards everywhere are burned-out and going to their 10-year celebrations. I see a girl on Yahoo Personals that I remembered for her sinful activities, and she looks like a broken and used little thing that nobody would date because she just --- ugh, I can't explain it. It's so sad, and she looks at me through her photographs like she'ld been raped of her soul and all the guys had trampled her spirit in favor of other later-maturing flowers.
And now here's 2010, and I'm waiting for the 2k12 meteor to blow this Father-fucking rock out of the sky to become the asteroid belt and future rings around the moon.
Taking the braces off is a good first step to resolving the particular issue, though....
Can you be Even More Awesome?!
Well, right it out a hundred times by sun-up or we'll cut your balls off.
Hail Caesar!
...
Oh fuck, write.
Sigh, some mornings it pays not to post to /.
...
"Wii so horny".
mmm... yeah... You see, we're putting the cover sheets on all TPS reports now before they go out...
-1 Nauseating.
Depends on your point of view I guess. Personally, I think if you haven't broken furniture at least once you're not doing it right.
*Puh-lease*. This is Slashdot.
If you haven't caused a data center to fail over, you're not doing it right...
There's no place like
I have also been known to cause persistent sexual arousal syndrome (PSAS) in females of the opposite sex.
It's been my cross to bear since I was in the fifth grade and had to fight off Miss DeLisi, my teacher, who looked a lot like a young Kelly LeBrock.
It's only gotten worse since I became a professional golfer. I've learned to deal with it by lowering my standards way, way down.
You are welcome on my lawn.
This is such a blatant SLASHVERTISEMENT!!!
*Puh-lease*. This is Slashdot.
If you haven't gotten head while tanking a raid boss at least once you're not doing it right.
Fixed. True story.
Rampant carbon sequestration destroyed the Dinosaurs' tropical paradise. I'm here to help repair the damage.
I know firsthand what a terrible affliction this can be. I am male and suffer the same uncomfortable, social stigma of constant sexual arousal. After watching this Intel core i7 unboxing on YouTube. The moneyshot it that heatsink! I am nearly there....
In post Patriot Act America, the library books scan you.
Wow. You seriously, SERIOUSLY need to take women off that pedestal you've been building since you typed that first DOS command. You probably see your mother (and all women) as being perfect angels with (in your words) "a more holy purpose in life". You're going to be confused, angry, lonely and upset until you realise that you, me, and everyone else on this rock (even women) are mammals, and we just LOVE to get down and dirty once in a while. People love sex, because the ones that didn't love sex didn't have babies. Humans are always at least 25% about sex, and that goes up to 100% once feeding, fighting, and fleeing are taken care of. "Sinful activities"? Please.
Think about this for a moment: Your mum probably likes it up the ass occasionally. Did that make you angry? That's because you think of her as some magical ideal, and not as a living breathing passionate person who gave birth to you after a lot of passionate sex.
Rampant carbon sequestration destroyed the Dinosaurs' tropical paradise. I'm here to help repair the damage.
No, the people that love sex aren't the one's abusing it and pushing it onto the students like our parent is dissatisfied about. Those of us that love sex only need it in the smallest moments as a ration of skin moisturizer. We're not the one's that blatently mix among sexists to build the man or woman as some kind of deity to dispense pleasure to everyone around at the same time. If you hate sex, then you practically live in Pornography and appreciate the work of Larry Flint and Hue Heffner. Those are the people that run your schools, slowly progressing young minds to be tolerant about others as they spread animal-like instincts instead of studies.
All those that didn't have children, are the one's too busy saving the world -- the bravest and most courageous people on the planet were all royalty, distinguished by a slight psychological impulse that embraces all lower life forms with more compassion than a short-tempered in-heat negro that can't stop fondling your daughter because he says he "loves her so much."
I come from a similar background, and I can tell you that my mother hated anal sex because she would cry for hours after her "husband" was done with her. I came from a broken family, brought together by poverty, my old man tried all he could to put his foul ideas into my mind until finally when I was 14 years old I told him to get out of my house for the first time because I and my mother aren't tolerating his bastard attitude and abuse any longer. I left college to work full time to keep a roof over the heads of those I loved.
You all should be ashamed. I put the weakest on a pedestal, and you criticize the other post for that? What kind of deprived psychopath have you become? Do you pride yourself in dangerous unnatural intercourse of thought and reason, and all it boils down to a bunch of offtopic school peers proving they are a bunch of Romans ruining all those around them in a snowball effect?
And look, in the future of USA and the world, there are more STD's from your disgraceful behaviour now in your time then there ever was in 30 years ago. It all happened on your watch, in your demeanor, in your work ethic, and your spiritual bankruptcy.
Enjoy the AIDS.
The cure for persistent sexual arousal syndrome in women is:
Wedding cake.
In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.
Uhm, wait a second, this is Slashdot, we aren't supposed to talk about how we meet lovely women and sleep with them
What is this "women" thing of which you speak?
This ain't rocket surgery.
There is a very horny lady (like the one in the article) who desperately needed an "aid".
Lady: "Show me all the dildos"
Salesman: "We have a very big selection in this aisle"
Lady: "Show me the biggest ones"
Salesman: "Sure, in the right wall you can find the biggest dildos"
Lady: "oooh, I like what I see. I'm taking the red one"
Salesman: "You mean the huge red one hanging on the wall? That is not for sale!"
Lady: "YES, I WANT IT! WHY NOT?"
Salesman: "Uhm... that's a fire extinguisher."
different people have different libidos. We don't have to kill each other over it.
Killing is unavoidable for necrophiliacs with persistent arousal syndrome...
Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities. - Voltaire
And now the slightest of vibrations, from mobile phones to food processors, turns her on.
It's more severe than I thought. She's turning into a teenage boy.
But then I realized the cable was blue, so I only gave it one star. I hate blue.