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Physicists Do What Einstein Thought Impossible

Posted by Soulskill on from the i'm-not-sure-he-cares-anymore dept.

An anonymous reader writes "Einstein worked on Brownian motion (the movement of small particles in a fluid as they collide with the fluid's molecules) in 1905, but said it would be 'impossible' to determine the speed and direction of a single particle during this dance. Now researchers have gone and done it, by suspending a dust-sized glass sphere in air (which slowed down its dance moves, since it had fewer collisions with spaced-out air molecules than it would have had with water molecules). The researchers held the sphere in place with 'laser chopsticks,' and then watched how the glass bead bounced around to determine its direction and speed (abstract)."

23 of 193 comments (clear)

  1. Magic words... by fahrbot-bot · · Score: 5, Funny

    You had me at "laser chopsticks".

    --
    It must have been something you assimilated. . . .
    1. Re:Magic words... by vandoravp · · Score: 5, Funny

      "Laser chopsticks" sounds way cooler than "optical tweezer" from TFAbstract. They should've gone with that in the paper.

    2. Re:Magic words... by infinite9 · · Score: 4, Funny

      Laser chopsticks suck. They keep cooking your sushi before you can get it to your mouth.

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      Disconnect your television. Do your own research. Draw your own conclusions. They're probably lying. Don't be a sheep.
    3. Re:Magic words... by Yvan256 · · Score: 5, Funny

      Bhey alfo burn your mouf.

    4. Re:Magic words... by Tetsujin · · Score: 3, Funny

      You had me at "laser chopsticks".

      Interesting... How do you suppose laser chopsticks would compare to, say, a laser spanner, or a sonic screwdriver?

      --
      Bow-ties are cool.
    5. Re:Magic words... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

      Laser chopsticks! It dices, cut, cooks and fries! Call now and receive a free shark!

      Made in China!

    6. Re:Magic words... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      You typed that with your mouth?!

      Ouch!

    7. Re:Magic words... by 0100010001010011 · · Score: 4, Funny

      Do not look at chopstick with remaining eye.

    8. Re:Magic words... by Hurricane78 · · Score: 3, Funny

      Then the eyes caught fire.
      And the fire caught your hair.
      Until the firefighters caught your smoldering remains in a urn.

      Now it’s your turn. ;)

      --
      Any sufficiently advanced intelligence is indistinguishable from stupidity.
    9. Re:Magic words... by clarkkent09 · · Score: 3, Funny

      Master Miyagi: Man who catch dust-sized glass sphere with laser chopsticks accomplish anything.

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      Negative moral value of force outweighs the positive value of good intentions.
    10. Re:Magic words... by treeves · · Score: 5, Funny

      Fire-breathing Dragon Naturally Speaking!

      --
      ...the future crusty old bastards are already drinking the Kool-Aid.
  2. Infinite Improbability Drive by natehoy · · Score: 4, Funny

    How will the Infinite Improbability Drive work now? It depended on Brownian motion. Now probability can never come off 1:1 and it'll never work!

    We must discover time travel immediately so we can go back and stop these researchers immediately! I mean, sooner!

    Tomorrow is Towel Day! We cannot allow a travesty like this to stand.

    --
    "This post contains words, known to the State of California to cause thought. Wash brain thoroughly after reading."
  3. But is it infinitely improbable? by wiredog · · Score: 3, Funny

    In the way that a nice cup of tea is?

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    Best Slashdot Co
  4. Re:To avoid confusion by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    No, "Laser Chopsticks" were invented so that sharks with frickin' laser beams could eat their sushi without all that chasing and chomping.

  5. What an idiot by ayahner · · Score: 5, Funny

    Ha. Einstein. What an idiot.

    1. Re:What an idiot by RichardJenkins · · Score: 4, Funny

      Yeah he's no Einstein, that's for sure.

  6. Re:Keep in mind by noidentity · · Score: 5, Funny

    "In 1907, Einstein likely did not foresee a time when dust-sized particles of glass could be trapped and suspended in air by dual laser beam "optical tweezers.""

    I'm sorry but: No freaking shit. In 1907 I doubt many people would have foreseen that

    Warning: Do not attempt to foresee any more laser-related developments with remaining eye.

  7. This Einstein Fella is a Hack by PatTheGreat · · Score: 5, Funny

    This Einstein fella - I keep on hearing about how he's been proven wrong or might be proven wrong or how people are picking his ideas apart. It's like he hasn't even SEEN a modern physics paper in like, the last 50 years.

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    Google: "All your data are belong to us."
    1. Re:This Einstein Fella is a Hack by ImprovOmega · · Score: 5, Funny

      Yeah, and when was the last time he published anything? I doubt he'll make tenure at this rate.

  8. Re:To avoid confusion by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    How did this get modded "insightful"? It's a joke, you idiots.

  9. Re:New unit of size.... by misosoup7 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Since when is 'dust' a unit of size?

    Since they made chopsticks out of monochromatic light.

  10. Re:This doesn't break the uncertainty principle. by mortonda · · Score: 3, Funny

    It's merely confirming something else Einstein said: the universe is not only stranger than we imagine, it's stranger than we can imagine.

    I don't know.... Einstein might want to revise that statement... he never had a chance to try to follow Lost

  11. Re:Keep in mind by Ossifer · · Score: 4, Funny

    Looking at pictures of Einstein, I don't think he knew what "tweezers" meant...