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Scientist Infects Self With Computer Virus
superapecommando writes "A British scientist claims to have become the first human to be infected by a computer virus, in an experiment he says has important implications for the future of implantable technology. Dr Mark Gasson from the University of Reading infected a computer chip with the virus, then implanted it in his hand and transmitted the virus to a PC to prove that malware can move between human and computer."
The implications of this being that.....what? When The Evil Government (tm) infuses us all with tracking chips, we open up ourselves to being hacked?
I can see it now....
Can new RFID technology lead to making you or your families ZOMBIES of the federal government? TONIGHT on Glenn Beck!
My other sig is clever.
If we're looking for firsts....
I once had a cold and sneezed on my keyboard.
Does that make me the first human to infect a computer???
Lets just hope Michael Bay doesn't read this story.
It is quite scary actually. This proves many things.
1. Flesh is not a valid software firewall. We need upgrades.
2. The human body can't fight off computer viruses with our immune system.
3. His body didn't alert him of the virus. No fever or any symptom.
I, for one, am quite scared of these recent events. How can you discount him so easily? If I get a pace maker and someone is able to root it - how will I know?
Is for this researcher to be the first to contract the metavirus when it arrives...
"Scientist" is retard. Loosing his funding would be the best thing that could happen to him.
One would think if his funding were loosed, he'd be quite happy.
I will now be the first human being to have Linux installed ...
*puts Linux ISO on USB flash drive and drops his pants*
My work here is dung.
If I swallow my thumb drive containing all my favorite programs, would they come out decompiled?
Let's just look on the bright side. He could have infected a small flash drive, taped it to has schlong, went to the computer, infected it, and claimed to have found the first sexually transmitted computer virus.
Dude has a crappy computer chip in him that has a virus on it. Now what? Will he try to get rid of the virus? Will he try and take the chip out?
He has a useless computer chip in his body. That has got to suck.
Imagine him trying to brag to people about it:
"I have a computer chip implanted in me." "Cool, what does it do?" "Nothing, it is infected with a computer virus."
FAIL
The world is how you make it
This has some serious implications...
"Mom, I know I said I'd try and call more often, but if you keep
bugging me at work I'm going to have to downgrade your firmware..."
Let's see how feisty she is with her pulse reduced by 35%!
You have the right to remain sentient. If you give up the right to remain sentient, you will be elected to public office
He should have just stuck a USB stick up his ass.
Slashdot social media options: AIM, ICQ, Yahoo, Jabber and Mobile Text. Why no MySpace?
Exactly..
Look I cut open a cat and inserted a wifi router... CATS CAN CONNECT TO WIFI!!!!
Can I be a scientist? It seems I meet the qualifications.
Do not look at laser with remaining good eye.
Makes about as much sense as flying mega shark.
Oh my god! He's got the virus too!
And for his next trick, Dr Mark Gasson will insert an Atari 2600 controller into his anus, and proceed to control a Windows PC's mouse cursor with it. This is the first time a human has ever taken over control of a computer with the twitching of their rectal wall, and demonstrates the need for anal computer security.
All hail scientific achievement.
Prior art, I do this all the time.
"Scientist" is retard. Loosing his funding would be the best thing that could happen to him.
One would think if his funding were loosed, he'd be quite happy.
"Dear Research Councils, I am very happy to be acquainted with you, and as a humble scientist, wish to loose my funding to the cash sum of 7 HUNDRED THOUSAND dollars..." Sorry, not sure where I'm going with this.
But did you follow scientific method?
Clearly this gentleman is much more learned and qualified than you, so is infinitely more suitable to have large storage devices anally inserted.
Now, where did I put my 30MB "full height" 5.25" drive...
...
Was this your fifth cat, or was it Cat 6?
When our name is on the back of your car, we're behind you all the way!
Ah, I thought Captain Cyborg was from the University of Writing, or possible Aithmetic.
The enemies of Democracy are
Tie it to a paper plane?
Are you mad?
That would mean the virus is airborne!
Now, where did I put my 30MB "full height" 5.25" drive...
You're "sitting" on it...
Oblig...
WTB [sig], PST!!!
Blue Face of Death.
Finally had enough. Come see us over at https://soylentnews.org/
Well, at least he didn't put it on a USB drive and shove it up as anus. It would have been the exact same principal, but would have seemed less scientific.
You'll figure it out when someone puts it on hummingbird mode.
and then i proved Man can core dump.
Idiot.
Look I cut open a cat and inserted a wifi router... CATS CAN CONNECT TO WIFI!!!! Can I be a scientist? It seems I meet the qualifications.
Hell, with that sort of ingenuity, you should be able to get tenure.
No, you missed your payments, and the MPAA repossessed _their_ memory you rented from them.
In the future won't be "a penny for your thoughts".
You and everyone in this particular thread should be assassinated for particularly horrid puns.