Valve Delays Portal 2, Squashes Duke Nukem Rumors

SKYMTL writes "In a tongue-in-cheek commentary, Valve has announced the delay of Portal 2 and thrown water on the rumor fires regarding its E3 'surprise.' This surprise was rumored to be either Half-Life 3 or the revival of Duke Nukem, and it looks like neither will happen anytime soon."

Comments

Half-Life 3?

[Anonymous Coward]

Shouldn't they get Half-Life 2 Episode 3 done first?

Re:Half-Life 3?

[vrmlguy]

Personally, I'm interested in the narrative direction that Valve takes in Portal 2. The original's protagonist started as a relatively weak, essentially passive, woman, who only comes out of her introverted shell after much prodding by GLADOS. The sequel needs to go in a different direction, with an extroverted male protagonist. He should be a body builder, with a blond crew-cut, wearing aviator glasses, and smoking a cigar. You know, like this.

Re:Half-Life 3?

[Tim C]

"I have come here to eat cake and kick ass, and I'm all outta cake."

Re:Half-Life 3?

[elrous0]

Hail to the cake, baby.

Re:Half-Life 3?

[VGPowerlord]

If it comes out this year, or in 2011, will people still want it? I'm sure it will hurt them, the engine is getting old, fans are feeling alienated. Way to blow a fantastic franchise Valve.

The Source engine is continuously updated. The most recent version is the one used in Left 4 Dead 2, released in late 2009.

As of right now, there are two major versions of the Source engine that are continuously bugfixed, and sometimes have features backported from the newer to the older:
1. Orange Box Engine*, used by Team Fortress 2, Day of Defeat: Source, and Counter-Strike: Source Beta (last updated 2010 May 18)
2. Left 4 Dead 2 Engine, used by Left 4 Dead 2 (last updated 2010 June 09 (yesterday))

Team Fortress 2 is being released for Mac today, so we may see an update for the Orange Box game engine as well.

* The Orange Box engine was split into two separate engines during an engine update earlier this year. One version is used by HL2: Episode 2 and Portal, the other by Team Fortress 2, Day of Defeat: Source, and Counter-Strike: Source Beta.

Re:Eh...

[sammyF70]

Which might be the reason why it's in slashdot/games ... I'm just guessing here of course.

MOD PARENT UP!!

[AndrewStephens]

Ostensibly whatever it is Valve is going to be revealing at E3 is going to be a game, a new game perhaps or something like that.

+1 Insightful

Re:Eh...

[xtracto]

Ostensibly whatever it is Valve is going to be revealing at E3 is going to be a game, a new game perhaps or something like that. Either way it's hard to get exited about.

OMG Sherlock, have you got inside info or something?
You mean that what a game publisher company will reveal at an Electronic Entertainment Expo is ... wait for it, a video game. Man, you really got amazing inference skills!

Now, that you do not get excited about that only means that you do not care about such type of entertainment; but hey, that's a completely different stories.

Re:Eh...

[brunes69]

Why do you have the Slashdot/Games section on if you don't care about games?

Re:I think we can by now

[MichaelSmith]

safely addapt Stephen Hawking's theory to this situation and state that laws of the universe conspire to prevent anybody ever actually finishing the development of Duke Nukem Forever.
True the evidence is purely anecdotal, but then the same goes for his original application of the concept to time machines so that's alright then.

There is another theory which states that this has already happened.

Re:Eh...

[quantumplacet]

Man are you gonna look stupid when Valve releases the cure for cancer at E3 this year.

Makes sense

[TheRealQuestor]

If they admitted that it was either of them there wouldn't be much point of a surprise then.

Re:Quick! Someone coin a new meme!

[mr_mischief]

There have been several good Duke Nukem games actually finished and released, you realize? This one is "Duke Nukem Forever". So one might say "Duke Nukem Forever'ed", or just "DNF'ed". "DNF" has a long history from auto racing (and probably from other racing before that). It's an abbreviation for "did not finish", which is apropos for the game.

So I think you'll find "DNF" is the phrasing of choice for such a situation, really.

Full Press Release

[Anonymous Coward]

VALVE ANNOUNCES MAKING GAMES IS HARD
June 9, 2010 — Aperture Science, doing business as Aperture Laboratories LLC, in partnership with Valve today announced the successful completion of an ethics-review-panel-supervised release date restructuring process. Portal 2, the sequel to the ground-breaking title that earned over 30 Game of the Year awards despite missing its original ship date, is now targeted for a 2011 release.

Representatives from both companies acknowledged that public safety concerns factored into the decision. They went on to say that even though Portal 2 will arrive slightly later than planned, all life on earth won’t instantaneously stop as every molecule in your body explodes at the speed of light, which is what would happen should a rip ever appear in the fabric of Valve Time.

“Also, the game will be even better,” they added, missing an historic opportunity to create the first product delay press release to mention that a product is being delayed to make it worse.

To ask questions about how close we all came to dying, or to ask futile questions about the previously announced E3 ***PORTAL-2-THEMED-FOR-GOD’S SAKE*** surprise or, less futilely, to schedule an appointment to attend a Portal 2 screening at the Valve booth during E3, please contact Valve’s delegate to the EU’s Valve Time Studies Group, Doug Lombardi.

Re:Eh...

[TheRaven64]

I, for one, have it on so that I can come here and complain.

Now get off my lawn!