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Valve Delays Portal 2, Squashes Duke Nukem Rumors

Posted by Soulskill on from the duke-is-not-still-alive-still-alive dept.

SKYMTL writes "In a tongue-in-cheek commentary, Valve has announced the delay of Portal 2 and thrown water on the rumor fires regarding its E3 'surprise.' This surprise was rumored to be either Half-Life 3 or the revival of Duke Nukem, and it looks like neither will happen anytime soon."

8 of 135 comments (clear)

  1. Half-Life 3? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Shouldn't they get Half-Life 2 Episode 3 done first?

    1. Re:Half-Life 3? by vrmlguy · · Score: 5, Funny

      Personally, I'm interested in the narrative direction that Valve takes in Portal 2. The original's protagonist started as a relatively weak, essentially passive, woman, who only comes out of her introverted shell after much prodding by GLADOS. The sequel needs to go in a different direction, with an extroverted male protagonist. He should be a body builder, with a blond crew-cut, wearing aviator glasses, and smoking a cigar. You know, like this.

      --
      Nothing for 6-digit uids?
    2. Re:Half-Life 3? by Tim+C · · Score: 5, Funny

      "I have come here to eat cake and kick ass, and I'm all outta cake."

      --
      It's official. Most of you are morons.
  2. MOD PARENT UP!! by AndrewStephens · · Score: 5, Funny

    Ostensibly whatever it is Valve is going to be revealing at E3 is going to be a game, a new game perhaps or something like that.

    +1 Insightful

    --
    sheep.horse - does not contain information on sheep or horses.
  3. Re:Eh... by xtracto · · Score: 5, Funny

    Ostensibly whatever it is Valve is going to be revealing at E3 is going to be a game, a new game perhaps or something like that. Either way it's hard to get exited about.

    OMG Sherlock, have you got inside info or something?
    You mean that what a game publisher company will reveal at an Electronic Entertainment Expo is ... wait for it, a video game. Man, you really got amazing inference skills!

    Now, that you do not get excited about that only means that you do not care about such type of entertainment; but hey, that's a completely different stories.

    --
    Ubuntu is an African word meaning 'I can't configure Debian'
  4. Re:Eh... by quantumplacet · · Score: 5, Funny

    Man are you gonna look stupid when Valve releases the cure for cancer at E3 this year.

  5. Makes sense by TheRealQuestor · · Score: 5, Insightful

    If they admitted that it was either of them there wouldn't be much point of a surprise then.

  6. Full Press Release by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Informative

    VALVE ANNOUNCES MAKING GAMES IS HARD
    June 9, 2010 — Aperture Science, doing business as Aperture Laboratories LLC, in partnership with Valve today announced the successful completion of an ethics-review-panel-supervised release date restructuring process. Portal 2, the sequel to the ground-breaking title that earned over 30 Game of the Year awards despite missing its original ship date, is now targeted for a 2011 release.

    Representatives from both companies acknowledged that public safety concerns factored into the decision. They went on to say that even though Portal 2 will arrive slightly later than planned, all life on earth won’t instantaneously stop as every molecule in your body explodes at the speed of light, which is what would happen should a rip ever appear in the fabric of Valve Time.

    “Also, the game will be even better,” they added, missing an historic opportunity to create the first product delay press release to mention that a product is being delayed to make it worse.

    To ask questions about how close we all came to dying, or to ask futile questions about the previously announced E3 ***PORTAL-2-THEMED-FOR-GOD’S SAKE*** surprise or, less futilely, to schedule an appointment to attend a Portal 2 screening at the Valve booth during E3, please contact Valve’s delegate to the EU’s Valve Time Studies Group, Doug Lombardi.