Slashdot Mirror
Smart Underwear Designed For Military
A team of scientists at the University of California San Diego, led by nano-engineering professor Joseph Wang, has designed some high-tech underwear that may save lives. Sensors in the waistband can monitor a person's blood pressure, heart rate, and other vital signs. The designers also hope that one day the underwear can release drugs to relieve pain and treat wounds. From the article: "But the technology's range of application goes beyond the military. 'We envision all the trend of personalized medicine for remote monitoring of the elderly at home, monitoring a wide range of biomedical markers, like cardiac markers, alerting for any potential stroke, diabetic changes, and other changes related to other biomedical scenario,' said Wang. Wearable biosensors can also provide valuable information to athletes or even measure blood alcohol levels."
I'll totally mod up the first person who makes a joke about a guy named Wang heading up military underwear research. Doh!
Once Smart Underwear catches on in the public, it'll become just a regular technology, like a cell phone.
Now guys, how many times have you seen girls check out another girl's phone when she buys a new one? How many times have you been able to go, "Hey, can I see your phone?" and they'll whip it out and show it to you.
One day, it'll be as easy as "Hey, can I see your Smart Underwear?" and she'll be like "Can I see yours too?".
Trust me, this is going to be awesome.
Now I have to worry about my underwear invading my privacy too? That's it, game over.
Digitial paaaants..... ACTIVATE!
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...I'm here for the debriefing sir.
"Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish"
Albert Einstein
These are completely useless for commandos.
Sheesh, evil *and* a jerk. -- Jade
or even measure blood alcohol levels
While one might immediately see value in a product like this for Lindsay Lohan, keep in mind she rarely wears underpants.
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Didja read that the officers' version of the Medical Briefs can actually read more vital signs than the enlisted version? Yeah, it's not because officers' lives are more important or anything, it's just that it's easier for the Medical Briefs to read pupil dilation when the officer in question has his head up his ass.
"A government is a body of people usually -- notably -- ungoverned." -Shepherd Book
Here are the reasons why it is stupid.
1. Would need to be able to withstand multiple wash cycles. Washing machines are very hard on electronics and sensors.
2. Each person would require multiple pairs of underwear as very few people wash cloths every day.
3. Difficult to replace medications. (Take off your pants. I need to add insulin.)
4. Trans dermal meds are generally low dose. If a soldier needs pain meds I doubt that enough could be administered.
A much better idea would be an arm band that is worn under clothing.
Right off the bat I can tell you this entire possibility is being posited by someone who never spent a day in uniform. The waistband is the worst possible place for this, from a practical perspective.
Reason being, a fully uniformed soldier already has at his waist line:
underwear
undershirt
pants waistband
pants belt
blouse tail
pistol/equipment belt
when a soldier already has six layers converging at his waist, adding wiring/sensors is not going to be popular. The sensation of peeling embedded underwear waistband out of sweaty flesh is not a positive one.
because if it can determine what needs to be done it can record the event. What can be recorded can be reported. While the idea of this underwear leads to some mirth it should be acknowledged than any article of clothing can be modified to help the individual as well as monitor and report. While in the context of the infirm and elderly this can provide a boon to hospitals and homes we will need to look at how the information is distributed and kept safe from prying eyes.
Throw in concerns about proper disposal, liability, and reclamation of said clothing as well. While the innovation is a great idea the related issues will need to be addressed.
* Winners compare their achievements to their goals, losers compare theirs to that of others.
1. Steal underpants
2. Upgrade them with high-tech devices and sell them to the military at 10x their original cost
3. Profit!!!
My website
He shared his strategic plan with me years ago; it sounds like he has filled in a crucial missing step:
1. Collect underwear
2. ???
3. Profit!
Well, you wouldn't say "1.8 century", would you? It'd be 1.8 centuries.
...the future crusty old bastards are already drinking the Kool-Aid.