Nerds Still More Likely To Get Bullied

trashbird1240 writes "Reports on a recent meta-analysis of bullies and victims found that bullies and victims have similar personality traits, but that bullies tend to do poorly in school, as opposed to those who get bullied. Both bullies and victims are poor social problem solvers, but they resort to different tactics to handle their social ineptitude. To me this represents a huge leap forward in understanding nerd psychology."

Comments

The key to not getting beaten up as a nerd

[Pojut]

Work out. A lot. Throughout middle school and high school, I was a huge geek (and dressed like one)...but I was also huge. In high school, at only 5'6", I weighed around 200 pounds, and could lift what the varsity football team lifted in the weightroom (and, in some cases, even more.)

I was a dork, but no one dared fuck with me. A good thing, too...I had no idea how to fight :p

Re:The key to not getting beaten up as a nerd

[0100010001010011]

Playing the borderline psycho route is also good. (Although these days you'll probably end up on some watch lists.) I can't really point to any single thing I did nor do I remember why they actually thought I was. (I guess critiquing what previous school shooters did wrong in an English paper was one thing...)

But when I skipped the senior photo in the gym, I guess one of my friends told me some people were joking I was in the rafters with a rifle.

Top of my class, BSME, going back for my MSME. I think >90% of my class is still at home drinking at the one bar in town and partying like they're still seniors. It's sad, but if they're happy, what ever.

Re:The key to not getting beaten up as a nerd

[bluefoxlucid]

Aikido is more fun. It's the closest most mortals get to being utterly invulnerable... I don't mean you can win fights because nobody can really hurt you; I mean you don't even have to care.

It's one thing to bloody someone up, really; but when you pretty much stand there, and just quietly move and draw them along, that's different. Judo works great for this, but it's more aggressive; you react sharply, roll their weight and motion out the way you want, and wind up hurling them spectacularly through the air or locking them hard into a submission. Aikido... the motions aren't combative; you basically take a step out of the way, and lead them to the ground, mainly in ways specifically designed not to injure. It looks like your opponent is just tripping over his own stupidity, rather than getting owned.

Seriously, who the fuck wants to mess with that? The less aggressive you look while utterly dismissing your opponents, the more confused and frightened people become.

Re:The key to not getting beaten up as a nerd

[Hatta]

You don't. You socialize with other people, becoming part of the herd. You're less likely to be picked off by a predator then.

I think ...

[Monkeedude1212]

That the problem is that people are so hard-wired to find social ineptitude a problem.

There are times where I wouldn't want to hang out with people because I didn't like the people. At one point (it was between grade 8 and 9) I realized that I could be whoever I really wanted to be, and was not relegated to any kind of social outcast or nerdy clique for the rest of my days. I went out, bought some clothes, got a haircut, and emailed someone I didn't usually hang out with, and asked if they wanted to go Skateboarding. I - however - had never been great at skateboarding. However, this new friend of mine took my motion as a kind gesture and proceeded to teach me a bit so that I could hang out with him and his friends more. He understood that I had wanted to get out of any antisocial tendancies I might have had and wanted to have fun with more friends. Obviously, he was not the bullying type.

However, after a year or so of this, I began to miss the old things. Playing LAN Starcraft till 5 am, reading Fantasy Novels, and programming. Things I never had time for when there was a party that weekend, movie night at a friends house, or hanging out after class. Eventually, I went back to my old tendancies, and I really didn't care if I was labelled a nerd because I liked being alone a bit more.

Re:I think ...

[Attila Dimedici]

That the problem is that people are so hard-wired to find social ineptitude a problem.

Social ineptitude is a problem. You are confusing being an introvert (preferring not to spend time with other people) with being socially inept. Not all introverts are socially inept. Sometimes people are labeled "nerds" because they choose to be socially uninvolved. However, the term originally (and in this context) referred to people who wish to be socially involved but are outcasts because they do things that are socially viewed opposite of the way they intend.

This is the loaded term

[omar.sahal]

poor problem-solving skills within social situations

What does this mean, bullies not knowing how to interact are pent up with rage, and take it out on others. There’s one problem with this bullies are very good at reading people. Quite often they can bully under every bodies nose without arousing suspicion. They even have good mechanisms to handle tense situations (like being investigated), they can even lie effectively under these tense situations. How do you think they can get away with it.

Re:This is the loaded term

[fuzzyfuzzyfungus]

The jury is still somewhat undecided on the born vs. made issue(and that counts; because "made" implies that you might be able to control the supply relatively easily and without doing anything ethically troubling, while "born" is harder); but that doesn't change the fact that some people are Just Bad News, and failure to recognize that is a dangerous mistake. If it is a mistake you are making about a business partner or spouse or something, the consequences can be unfortunate for you.

If it is a mistake you make when you are supposed to be working on somebody else's behalf, as in the case of school staff, parole boards, and the like; it can have major consequences for others, which makes you either negligent or incompetent.

f the pack

[sixtuslab]

The grey uncreative mass is neither smart nor dumb. It packs up like wolves and feeds on the dumbest among itself to feel minutely superior. This causes violent outbursts in the weakest of the mind since its the only way for the feeble minded to protect their deteriorating selfimage. The smart ones are also rejected by the pack. The highest minds seem odd and incomprehensible to the pack and need to be made apart from the maingroup to keep it coherent. While the pack dwells happily in its dull mediocre harmony, the lowest of the mind try to attract the interest of the pack by attacking the other outcasts, the high minds. The smartest ones should somehow make it seem profitable for the pack to guard them or just endure since the relieving outcome is that the high minds shouldn't have any incentive to attract the pack, who are just the right kind of average consumers for the next vc backedup startup to exploit :)

Re:Stand up for yourself

[Killjoy_NL]

I don't know how our dutch schools compare to high schools, but for this story, it is comparable enough.
I was in my 2nd year and for the first 6 months a group of kids kept teasing, annoying, harassing me, etc. It was horrible.

I remember being in shop class reaching out for a tool that I needed to continue my work. One of the kids grabbed it after I did and tried to pull it out of my hand, I told that person that I was using it, then the kid spit on my hand.
That was the moment something snapped in my head, everything went dark, I was smart enough to drop the tool and I said one little thing: "Run."

The kid knew I was serious and started running, as did I. I jumped over chairs and desks while in pursuit only having one goal, to destroy that person.
It took 6 people to grab me and hold me against a wall until I calmed down.
That experience made sure that they didn't bother me anymore but it scared the fuck out of me.
I have learned more patience, more forgiveness and more understanding since then since I do not want to repeat an episode like that.

You are correct when some people only understand violence, I wish that was different.

Re:Perhaps...

[fuzzyfuzzyfungus]

I find the tendency of spree killers toward taking out a bunch of random bystanders along with their intended targets deplorable in the extreme; but I can say completely seriously that if more instances of bullying ended in murder, and fewer in suicide, the world would be a better place.

Seeing how far you can push somebody wouldn't be such an attractive hobby if the risk of being the guy who pushed them just a little too far were there in the back of your mind...