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Criminal Photoshops Himself Into Charity Photos In Bid For Leniency
38-year-old Daryl Simon decided it would be a good idea to submit fake pictures of himself at charity events, and forged letters of support from various charitable organizations to the court before he was sentenced for credit card fraud. Unfortunately for Daryl, he is as good at Photoshop as he is at credit card scams, and Judge Stephen Robinson was not amused. Simon was sentenced to 285-months in prison — 50 months more than the maximum under sentencing guidelines. From the article: "Daryl Simon's bald-faced move included sticking a picture of himself into a shot with a physical-therapy patient, then flipping the image and placing it next to a teen student. 'Evidence that his image was inserted and flipped can be seen by examining the single detail on his shirt above his fingers — that detail appears on the left side of the shirt in the top photograph, and on the right side of the shirt in the bottom photograph,' prosecutors wrote."
I guess he liked to shave.
He should have paid a graphic designer to do it for him. I'm sure he could have found one that accepts credit card payment.
"There are four boxes to be used in defense of liberty: soap, ballot, jury, and ammo. Please use in that order." -Ed H
...Simon presented of him standing next to Admiral Ackbar. The judge determined the photo was a fake, as the Admiral was overseas fighting the clone wars at the time Simon claimed the photo was taken.
"How to Piss off your Judge, for Dummies". Unfortunately, it was meant as a parody book.
For every problem, there is at least one solution that is simple, neat, and wrong.
The judge could tell by looking at the pixels.
They were not so much "guidelines" but more like a "suggestions."
Why exactly are all of the photos you submitted for review PSD files? Oh and you forgot to merge the layers...
...And did I mention the shadowing is all wrong here?
What idiots write these comments? It amazes me how many slashdotters and people in general will use phrases that they clearly have no understanding of when they speak or write. Its clear they have no understanding because they don't even say it right.
Please kids, for the love of god, know what the words you are saying mean before you use them.
(My apologies to the original poster, I couldn't resist, and it felt fitting.)
The convict is probably asserting copyright over his creative works.
I thought he was at the record store. And he gave me a copy of "Surfing Bird", too!
General Relativity: Space-time tells matter where to go; Matter tells space-time what shape to be.
He'll learn all that and more from sitting in the slammer with other criminals while getting his PhD in forgery anyway. Proper response would be to lean back and laugh "That? Jeez, that was just the first list of stuff you got wrong. I was just getting started. You're strictly a small-time amateur, pal" and walk away, shaking your head with amusement.
I prefer rogues to imbeciles because they sometimes take a rest.
OT, but some of my favorites (collected from various co-workers):
I'd like to emphasize that I am NOT making any of these up.
"He was reeking haddock with the system."
"It's not that cold on the thermometer, but don't forget the wind shield factor".
"OK, all of these things are important, but what takes present tense?"
"Hopefully this has got your creative juices floating..."
"There's no pot of gold at the end of the tunnel."
"He was out last week for surgery. He had a pollack removed."
"This post contains words, known to the State of California to cause thought. Wash brain thoroughly after reading."