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Scientists Create Equation For a Perfect Handshake

Hugh Pickens writes "Discover Magazine reports that despite the average person shaking hands nearly 15,000 times in a lifetime, one in five (19 per cent) admit they hate the act of the handshake and are unsure how to do it properly, regularly making a handshake faux pas such as having sweaty palms, squeezing too hard or holding on too long while over half the population (56 per cent) say they have been on the receiving end of an unpleasant handshake experience in the past month alone. But help is at hand as scientists have developed a mathematical equation for the perfect handshake taking into account the twelve primary measures needed to convey respect and trust to the recipient. The research was performed at the behest of Chevrolet as part of a handshake training guide for its staff and is meant to offer peace of mind and reassurance to its customers. A full guide to the perfect handshake is available on Flickr."

35 of 144 comments (clear)

  1. Reminiscent of Alan Moore's "The Bowing Machine" by eldavojohn · · Score: 2, Interesting

    Reminds me of a little known story by Alan Moore with art by Mark Beyer called The Bowing Machine except it's not a comic ...

    --
    My work here is dung.
  2. The Seinfeld formula by Drakkenmensch · · Score: 3, Interesting

    The Seinfeld episode that delved into the handshake protocol gave me the best advice I could need when it comes to a good handshake. Reach in, grab firmly, give one pump and two shakes, let go.

    1. Re:The Seinfeld formula by Shakrai · · Score: 5, Funny

      Reach in, grab firmly, give one pump and two shakes, let go.

      I tried that but none of the women in my life found it to be particularly satisfying ;)

      --
      I want peace on earth and goodwill toward man.
      We are the United States Government! We don't do that sort of thing.
    2. Re:The Seinfeld formula by Darinbob · · Score: 4, Funny

      Wait, that's the same advice I was given about how to use the urinal...

  3. First rule by ceraphis · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Wipe your sweaty hands off both before the handshake AND without the person seeing you. It's still unpleasant IMHO if you see a guy wipe his sweaty hands off right before shaking hands with you. (unless he/she was just eating lunch or something and thus is expected not to have the most clean hands in the world)

    1. Re:First rule by nomorecwrd · · Score: 3, Interesting

      Here in Chile, at least, people with greasy hands usually offers you the arm. (excusing themselves for the dirty hands)

  4. Bunk, I say by BobMcD · · Score: 3, Informative

    Nothing in here about actual grip strength. I'd think that a 'guide' would tell you how hard is too hard, etc.

    Also, as a person with huge hands, I can tell you that size matters a lot in terms of too much/too little grip.

    1. Re:Bunk, I say by Shoeler · · Score: 2, Funny

      Also, as a person with huge hands, I can tell you that size matters a lot in terms of too much/too little grip.

      Oh I see what you did there. Clever.

    2. Re:Bunk, I say by digitalsushi · · Score: 2, Funny

      Shoeler and BobMcD, please get a room!

      --
      slashdot: where everyone yells sarcastic metaphors to themselves to understand the issue
  5. Your Bailout Money Hard at Work! by cashman73 · · Score: 3, Insightful

    Seeing as how this came out of Chevrolet, a GM division, it's good to see that they put all that federal bailout money to good use!

  6. Well you see by Dunbal · · Score: 2, Funny

    American tax dollars at work. Because it's very important to have a perfect handshake when you work for a company that needs a government bailout to stay afloat after bankruptcy.

    --
    Seven puppies were harmed during the making of this post.
    1. Re:Well you see by Shakrai · · Score: 2, Insightful

      They should have been compelled to go through Chapter 11 without the White House interfering with the bankruptcy code and picking winners and losers. The bankruptcy code has a clearly defined pecking order but the White House apparently decided that rule of law wasn't the way to go.....

      --
      I want peace on earth and goodwill toward man.
      We are the United States Government! We don't do that sort of thing.
  7. Perfect Handshake (Advanced Professionals Only) by boneclinkz · · Score: 5, Funny

    1) Grip firmly with right hand.

    2) Take one step in so that faces are around 12 inches apart.

    3) Make eye contact (hold position until this happens).

    4) Once eye contact is made, firmly grab person's forearm with your left hand.

    5) Slide left hand up and down person's forearm, from wrist to elbow, twice, while maintaining eye contact.

    6) Wink with left eye.

    7) Break eye contact, let go.

  8. looks like the etiquette books don't need updating by Trepidity · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Despite all that science, the advice in that flickr summary are basically the same as the advice and diagrams in the section of Business Etiquette for Dummies on handshakes.

    (Don't ask me how I know that there's a Business Etiquette for Dummies, and that it has a section on handshakes.)

  9. "Science" by DIplomatic · · Score: 2, Funny

    Yes.... I completely concur with this post being tagged 'Science.' (alt+U0161)

  10. Neal Stephenson in Snow Crash by at10u8 · · Score: 3, Funny

    He posited execs who had embedded goniometers to ensure that each bow to a Japanese business partner reached the appropriate level. This looks ripe for similar treatment.

  11. Wow, 19 per cent? by teumesmo · · Score: 3, Interesting

    That's quite impressive, if 19 per cent go so far as to hate it, at least double that must find it irksome, another large percentage is indifferent to it, I wonder who are the freaks who actually think it useful, or go so far as to enjoy it.

    1. Re:Wow, 19 per cent? by feepness · · Score: 2, Interesting

      I wonder who are the freaks who actually think it useful, or go so far as to enjoy it.

      The ones who are worried about you pulling a weapon on them.

    2. Re:Wow, 19 per cent? by shaitand · · Score: 2, Insightful

      I find a handshake useful. You shouldn't read too much into it. But a wet handshake or a wipe on the pants indicates nervousness.

      A weak handshake indicates the person either has a low opinion of you or whatever business you are conducting. That might mean they disagree or it might mean they don't give a shit.

      A firm handshake suggests the person is comfortable with you and takes whatever business is at hand seriously. For instance, after a Foosball battle in the office it is habit to go for a firm handshake afterward to indicate mutual respect for a game well played.

    3. Re:Wow, 19 per cent? by luckyXIII · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Which is why, despite being right-handed, I regularly practice drawing with my left hand.

      --
      Some people have it coming - I'm just the delivery system.
  12. For what culture? by Culture20 · · Score: 3, Informative

    Even in the U.S.A., handshake length differs. When you go to another country, some grab your hand and pump for the entire conversation in a ritual beat, using it as emphasis while they talk, others never shake hands at all.

  13. My procedure: by rev_sanchez · · Score: 3, Funny

    Step 1: Wipe my hand on pants discreetly so as to verify dryness. A sweaty hand is a gross hand.
    Step 2: Make a quick glance to verify that the person you'll be shaking with has a standard 5 fingered hand. I'll shake a stump, hook, plastic hand, or sub-5 finger hand, flipper what-have-you but you want to know about this going into the shake and not in the middle of the first pump.
    Step 3: Grasp their hand or hand-like appendage firmly, shake about twice, and release whatever they've stuck out at you.

    --
    If you didn't come to party don't bother knocking on my door. Prince '1999'
  14. sim city 4 by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Insightful

    sounds like something that would flash across
    your sim screen :P

  15. The only perfect handshake by Ivan+Stepaniuk · · Score: 3, Funny

    > syn seq=X
    < syn ack=X+1 seq=Y
    > ack=Y+1 seq=X+1
    > DATA

    --
    My other signature is a car
  16. Depends on your goal by SnarfQuest · · Score: 2, Funny

    It really depends on your goal

    1. Lick you palm. Make sure it is really slimy.
    2. Grab their hand with both of yours so they can't get away. Preferably from behind.
    3. Shake good and strong, bringing your hand above your head and down to your knees.
    4. Release while at maximum height.
    5. Rub you hand on your pants leg for at least 10 seconds.

    OK, you will now be excused from shaking anyone elses hand. Forever.

    --
    Who would win this election: Andrew Weiner vs Andrew Weiner's weiner.
  17. Re:Too hard vs Too light by shaitand · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Agreed. A handshake is body language that can tell you if someone is nervous, uncomfortable, or even confident.

    A firm dry handshake without need for pants wiping after a job interview can say a lot about the person's confidence level. That's useful information depending on how you intend to treat them after hire.

  18. Re:Scientists are calling it... by shaitand · · Score: 2, Informative

    There is nothing worse than the fist bump. I promise you, everyone you fist bump hates it and the office is the last place you should it.

  19. The perfect handshake by Tetsujin · · Score: 4, Funny

    The real trick to the perfect handshake is getting the hand properly pureed before you add the other ingredients.

    --
    Bow-ties are cool.
    1. Re:The perfect handshake by natehoy · · Score: 2, Funny

      It's also important to properly wash the hand, and remove the fingernails and bone unless your customer asks for "chunky".

      Often forgotten is the use of a GOOD blender, and freezing the bowl beforehand to maintain proper temperature throughout the process.

      Missing these steps makes the handshake weak and clammy rather than the firm, decisive, bold statement it is supposed to make.

      If you really need your handshake to stand out, add some cayenne pepper and bing cherries. People love a bold handshake that promises a fruitful relationship, with just a hint of sweetness.

      --
      "This post contains words, known to the State of California to cause thought. Wash brain thoroughly after reading."
    2. Re:The perfect handshake by ImprovOmega · · Score: 2, Funny

      Somehow, your sig extolling the coolness of bow-ties makes this extra creepy.

  20. Re:Too hard vs Too light by Eggplant62 · · Score: 3, Insightful

    What irks the hell out of me is someone who grabs the hand too fast without getting skin-to-skin contact between each others' thumb-and-index webspace. I end up with some idiot who's got hold of my fingers only. Those are the clowns that get the do over and instructions on proper handshaking, usually punctuated with something like, "Slow down, idiot!"

  21. Re:Too hard vs Too light by Kozz · · Score: 2, Interesting

    What irks the hell out of me is someone who grabs the hand too fast without getting skin-to-skin contact between each others' thumb-and-index webspace. I end up with some idiot who's got hold of my fingers only. Those are the clowns that get the do over and instructions on proper handshaking, usually punctuated with something like, "Slow down, idiot!"

    There you go... that's my number-one pet peeve: grabbing my four extended fingers, leaving my thumb waving in the air? Wtf? I'd think that in any culture, the very least you want to do is have a symmetric handshake. I try my best to make the handshake symmetrical, firm but not crushing. I've had people grab only my fingers, other guys seemingly oblivious that they've crushed my knuckles such that I cannot return the grasp, and then the folks who offer their hand like it's a fresh pork chop, a piece of meat with no life in it whatsoever.

    I think it'd be more instructive to write up all the handshake mistakes people make.

    --
    I only post comments when someone on the internet is wrong.
  22. Re:Secret Handshakes by gstoddart · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Like, maybe I'm a professional wrestler or something.

    Posting on Slashdot? Somehow, I doubt that. :-P

    --
    Lost at C:>. Found at C.
  23. Re:Too hard vs Too light by Quirkz · · Score: 3, Interesting
    I am apparently one of those poor saps who can either make eye contact, or watch where my hand is going, but not both. Generally I figure it's better to make eye contact and flub the handshake a little than stare at the person's hand. So I sometimes (maybe 20% of the time) end up either too short (just fingers) or too far (kind of jamming the webbing together awkwardly). I try to adjust if possible, but sometimes the other person already has you in their grip, and it's just better to go with it.

    I've always hoped it wasn't just me, and that at least half of the blame for mis-coordinating the hand position lies with the other person, but maybe it's just me.

    At least one thing I do know is I've got the pressure in a moderate middle ground . I've had enough that are too hard or too soft (one gal I met recently took soft to an extreme by extending her hand and then not moving her fingers at all -- it wasn't a soft squeeze, it was literally nonexistent) to know what the right pressure feels like.

    I was hoping maybe this study would venture into some of the silly complicated extra convolutions people put in their handshakes. Mostly seems to be a phenomenon of younger guys trying to be hip, who have some ridiculous five-part ritual. Grab, slap, wiggle, fist, waggle some finger, whatever it is. I watch people around me going through the whole procedure like they know what the other person is about to do, but I've always felt sort of colorblind or tone deaf as far as those gestures go. Can anyone explain to me how the hell I'm supposed to know it's "grab, smash elbow, bump chest, slap back twice" this time, and next time it'll be "grab hand, clasp forearm, do the hokey pokey"?

  24. Slashdot, Please! by Zephiris · · Score: 3, Insightful

    This isn't the kind of thing you expect from Slashdot, or Slashdot submitters/readers.

    It's a PR stunt, but it's filed under 'science'.
    It's also linking to a third party blog, 11 days after it was news.

    Press release containing contact info: http://media.gm.com/content/media/gb/en/news/news_detail.brand_chevrolet.html/content/Pages/news/gb/en/2010/CHEVROLET/07_15_perfect_hand_shake

    Original (as far as I know) blog entry mentioning it: http://jalopnik.com/5588201/this-is-the-formula-for-the-perfect-handshake

    Contact email on the press release is chevrolet@mischiefpr.com.

    If a Slashdot contributor gets taken for a line with that one, and editorial staff allows it through as a Science (not Idle) story, while nobody bothers to do even the slightest amount of digging, it might be high time to revise standards and practices, since Slashdot is starting to descend to a less-timely, less-informed, more gullible version of reddit.

    I remember when Slashdot was THE place for techie/geeky news, and the comments were considerably more often than not insightful. Nowadays, people seem happier to quibble over minor semantics in an article while missing the big picture. I'm not trying to put Slashdot, one of my favorite sites, down but I'd rather it retain or improve level of quality, not slip toward the same plateau as Slashdot Parody Sites[tm].

    If you're going to accept PR advertisements, at least put them in the ad box in the corner and accept payment, so people can opt out.

    --

    "A Goddess rarely smiles for she is forced by others to be an island unto herself." - Zephiris