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Microsoft Holds iPhone Funeral Event

Posted by samzenpus on from the buried-alive dept.

theodp writes "TechFlash reports that Microsoft celebrated the completion and upcoming launch of Windows Phone 7 on Friday with a 'Windows Phone Pride Parade' complete with zombies, a 'Thriller' Dance, and pallbearers carrying a giant iPhone. 'These kind of "ship" parties are common throughout the industry,' explained Microsoft communications VP Frank Shaw. 'It's a great way for teams that have worked overtime to create a kick-ass product blow off steam and have a little fun.'"

36 of 311 comments (clear)

  1. What about the rest of the family? by bcohen5055 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Did I miss the windows vista funeral? How about Windows ME when was that? I had a great obituary prepared

    1. Re:What about the rest of the family? by DurendalMac · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Why no funeral for the Kin, MS? Also, I have to laugh heartily at the iPhone and Blackberry funerals. WM7 is going to kill those just like the Zune killed the iPod!

    2. Re:What about the rest of the family? by Corporate+Troll · · Score: 3, Informative

      Vista? It's still alive... It came with many computer and many users are still using it. Besides, 7 is nothing more than Vista a bit tuned. There are still many things that irk me about sevens interface. (Like no vertical lines in a directory tree... WTF were they thinking?) Luckily you can downgrade Vista Business, which is what came with some PCs at work. Those all run XP Pro now. To get 7 we'd have to shell out money and I'm really not all that convinced of any benefits of Seven. (Bar 64-bit support, but for business use that's largely irrelevant) Users of Vista Home Premium are out of luck though.

    3. Re:What about the rest of the family? by Inner_Child · · Score: 4, Insightful

      'It's a great way for teams that have worked overtime to create a kick-ass product blow off steam and have a little fun.'

      So why does the WinMo7 team get to do this?

      --
      Today is red jello day - all workers must eat all of their red jello. Failure to comply will result in five demerits.
    4. Re:What about the rest of the family? by digitig · · Score: 5, Funny

      Vista? It's still alive

      I think "undead" is the term.

      --
      Quidnam Latine loqui modo coepi?
    5. Re:What about the rest of the family? by AmigaMMC · · Score: 5, Funny

      The Zune might not have killed the iPOD but it still remains a much better product. Just like Zune 2.0 software is light years ahead of iTunes 10. I've owned a Zune first Gen., I own a Zune HD, I've used iPods all flavors and i own and iPhone 4 which I don't use for music, yuck! And... yeah, Zune wins for compatibility with standards as well as human interface.

    6. Re:What about the rest of the family? by jo42 · · Score: 4, Funny

      Windows 7 - the OS formerly known as Vista.

    7. Re:What about the rest of the family? by SpinyManiac · · Score: 3, Funny

      I couldn't possibly confirm that you get a full retail version of Windows for much less money this way. It was £92 for Pro when I didn't do it.

      --
      It's never too late to have a happy childhood.
    8. Re:What about the rest of the family? by jellomizer · · Score: 4, Insightful

      MS has a lot of work to get done.

      1. Windows 7 mobile will need to be THAT much better then the iPhone. It can't be a little better or have a few different features.

      2. Android is a good platform too and is a easier sell to other hardware manufactures. And has already took Microsofts place as the the OS for all the other Cell Phones.

      3. How well are they going to follow the Internet standards. As some one who does make web UI for phones I am estatic that I can use proper standard HTML 5. Windows 7 may have some surprises when it gets to some advanced mobile sites.

      4. Who are they going to target. Across RIM Apple and Android you have a lot of people who are happy with their phones.

      --
      If something is so important that you feel the need to post it on the internet... It probably isn't that important.
  2. I missed the one for the KIN by tomhudson · · Score: 4, Funny
    And the KIN 2.

    Do we get one for Windows Phone 7 - the Next of KIN?

  3. Are they 'kin mad? by gilesjuk · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Hmm let me see, which company recently withdrew a phone after a few weeks on sale?

    Why will Windows Phone 7 succeed when Kin failed?

    Windows Mobile sold reasonably well, but all the OEMs who pumped out WM handsets have largely moved on and release Android phones now.

    1. Re:Are they 'kin mad? by jd2112 · · Score: 4, Informative

      The Kin failed because it was a somewhat-smarter-than-a-free-with-activation phone selling at smartphone prices. From what I've seen Windows Mobile 7 might have a shot at a respectable market share but I think it will be insufficient to fend off the onslaught of Android and IPhone,

      --
      Any insufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from technology.
    2. Re:Are they 'kin mad? by UnknowingFool · · Score: 4, Insightful

      I haven't seen much of Windows 7 that puts it above Android and iPhone. In some respects, it appears several years behind the other two. The only thing that has kept WinMobile relevant has been business users. Windows 7 is breaking all backwards compatibility forcing those users to migrate.

      --
      Well, there's spam egg sausage and spam, that's not got much spam in it.
    3. Re:Are they 'kin mad? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Insightful

      Or it could be they're just having fun after a lot of work. Everyone hopes their product will be the one that wins out. The market will decide in the end, so for now let them have their fun, and you can go do something more productive.

    4. Re:Are they 'kin mad? by UnknowingFool · · Score: 4, Interesting

      Wow, it seems that you absolved MS of any responsibility of failure.

      The Danger built system just happened to be the big one that failed after MS aquired them (and not a backup to be found... oops).

      A year after MS acquired them, the Danger systems failed. It has not been explicitly explained but one rumor is that a SAN upgrade went wrong. You don't know why. Maybe MS decided that Danger should eat the dogfood and this led to the failure. This is what happened to hotmail.

      I've come to the conclusion that Danger was a poor aquisition (i.e. waste of money) for Microsoft.

      MS acquired Danger to get a head start on what would become the Kin. Two MS decisions would doom it. First MS decided to scrap the Java based system and redo everything with Windows CE because a MS product could never use Java. Second, the head of division didn't want both Kin and Win 7 Phone so he withheld resources from the Kin team. Those decisions delayed the launch by at least 18 months.

      Verizon had as much to do with Kin's failure as Microsoft/Danger.... underpowered smart phone targeted at a teen/social audience, but with outrageous data/service prices.

      What? Verizon didn't decide on the hardware or software. Those were MS decisions. As for the data prices, Verizon was willing to give MS users a break on the prices so that they could get the Sidekick users (teenagers), however, MS was 18 months late so they didn't give MS a break in the end. 18 months is almost 2 generations in cell phone lifetime and rather unacceptable.

      --
      Well, there's spam egg sausage and spam, that's not got much spam in it.
    5. Re:Are they 'kin mad? by hardburn · · Score: 4, Insightful

      After looking at Wikipedia's KIN Missing Features page, I found that every single bullet point there deserves a Picard Faceplam. I mean, no calendar app? At all? Even Free w/Activation phones get some kind of calendar app.

      --
      Not a typewriter
  4. HA HA HA by Antisyzygy · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Dude, I am not really an Apple person, but I seriously doubt a Windows based phone will bet able to take down the iPhone. The funeral aspect just makes Microsoft look like a bunch of twats.

    --
    That brings me to an interesting point, / . is just "the ramblings of socially-inept, technology-literate news-mongers".
    1. Re:HA HA HA by Reaperducer · · Score: 4, Funny

      In the echo chamber of Microsoft love that is the greater Redmond/Bellevue/Issaquah/Seattle area, this makes perfect sense.

      People talk about the Steve Jobs reality distortion field that affects people near him. The MS RDF engulfs the entire metro. It's really pathetic to witness.

      --
      -- I'm old enough to have lived through six different meanings of the word "hacker."
    2. Re:HA HA HA by magus_melchior · · Score: 4, Insightful

      If I didn't know any better, I'd say they're still sore about the "I'm a Mac" ads. Although they weren't very accurate and they were arrogant as hell, Microsoft's responses ("look ma, cheap PC with a ton of bloatware I don't need!" and of course Seinfeld & Bill) have been absolutely pathetic-- and in the case of mobile, they had a golden opportunity to rip Apple a good one over their response to the iPhone 4 antenna design flaw. I mean, come on... they had a ton of examples from other handset makers.

      Watching Microsoft's recent PR is sort of like watching a grown man miss a tee-ball. In three swings.

      --
      "We are Microsoft. You shall be assimilated. Competition is futile."
  5. Re:Its just one tragic blunder after another by 0123456 · · Score: 3, Insightful

    Who the fuck at m$ thought this could bring them anything but ridicule?

    Presumably the same people who think that anyone would intentionally buy a phone that runs Windows?

  6. So how do we divvy up the fan base, here? by MobileTatsu-NJG · · Score: 3, Funny

    Okay, so we have our iPhone fans and Android fans... we need to make some room for Win7 Phone fans here. Do we just take a few volunteers now or do we wait for a few hostile stories to come along so a handful of people can conclude that those stores aren't true and become fans that way?

    --

    "I like to lick butts!" by MobileTatsu-NJG (#32700246) (Score:5, Informative)

  7. Re:When... by yoyhed · · Score: 4, Insightful

    I'd say Office and Windows are still pretty damn relevant. However, in the mobile space - yeah, WinMo7 isn't going to change anything. iPhones and Android phones will still rule the smartphone market, and though BlackBerries are a dying breed in terms of the cutting-edge, even they will far exceed WinMo7's usage.

    --
    WHO NEEDS SHIFT WHEN YOU HAVE CAPSLOCK/ DAMN1
  8. Why not show hubris? by RyanFenton · · Score: 4, Insightful

    If you know your product is highly likely going to fail, why not add some poetry to existence by showing the maximum hubris possible?

    If you can't be a good example of success, then you can also play a role of being a very loud example of failure.

    The problem is that, at looking to politics and business, most extremely loud examples of failure end up being repeated anyway the very next political/financial cycle, with very little modifications to counter that same method of failure.

    Ultimately, it is because people remember claims, not results - so the loud hubris ends up attracting more imitation than the results drive a logical reaction.

    Ryan Fenton

  9. MS used to scare people by astrashe · · Score: 5, Insightful

    These guys used to strike terror into people -- they'd kill startups by just hinting that they were working on something similar.

    I never thought I'd feel sorry for them.

  10. Re:what the hell by Man+On+Pink+Corner · · Score: 3, Funny

    The 400-unit sellthrough figure was a slanderous lie spread by Apple fanboy trolls. The actual number of Kin phones sold was closer to 1000.

  11. But where was Android during the funeral? by Jim+Buzbee · · Score: 4, Funny

    Why doing the filming of course. Big Fail for Microsoft...

  12. Re:Grip and Tip by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Insightful

    The fuck?

  13. Notify next of Kin by broKenfoLd · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Dear Microsoft, Seriously? Anyone remember the Microsoft Kin, launched in 2010? If the iPhone has died, then the Microsoft offering was a stillborn. http://news.cnet.com/8301-13860_3-20009336-56.html

  14. Re:Mad Old Uncle Bob, Too. by davester666 · · Score: 3, Insightful

    It's kinda tasteless to throw a funeral when everybody made fun of him and you knifed him in the back.

    --
    Sleep your way to a whiter smile...date a dentist!
  15. Why do we care about this? by AusIV · · Score: 5, Insightful

    I'm getting tired of all this circle jerking about smart phones. There can be more than one smartphone operating system. There doesn't have to be a "victor" to have a successful smartphone OS. There's no reason that the success of Windows 7 phone (or whatever it's called, I don't really care) has to be predicated on the death of the iPhone. The two can coexist. Yes, they'll compete with each other, but there doesn't always have to be a winner and a loser.

    I'm an android fan. My current phone is Android based, and my next phone will probably be android based. But if someone would prefer an iPhone, a Windows Mobile phone, a phone from Palm or Blackberry, I really don't care. The existence of competitors in no way reduces the utility of my own phone. In fact, the existence of competition probably leads to improvements for all of the phones.

  16. Optimistic... by Junta · · Score: 3, Interesting

    MS has been nothing if not consistent in mobile phone marketshare. Up til now, I'd characterize it as not even really trying seriously. Now that they have started to try in earnest, every move they make is a huge head scratcher.

    Kin is a shining example of MS not 'getting it'.

    Every demo and discussion of WinMo7 seems to show that not only do they not get it, but they are actively screwing over WinMo6 users too. Sideloaded apps? No, copying Apple means none of that. Copy and paste? No, they copy iPhone 2G. Multitasking? Again... no.. Decent UI? No, that would mean knocking off Apple *too* much....

    Android is taking it without any contest (though I like WebOS better).

    --
    XML is like violence. If it doesn't solve the problem, use more.
  17. launch for which product now? by lawpoop · · Score: 4, Insightful

    It's pretty sad that the events around the launch of their product are about the iPhone rather than their own. Don't they have anything to tout about Windows phone 7? Or can they only tear down the other guy?

    --
    Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.
    -- Pablo Picasso
  18. Re:You figured the trick by Low+Ranked+Craig · · Score: 4, Insightful

    The difference is that Apple only charged people $29 for the Snow Leopard upgrade. The Vista to 7 upgrade was, uh just a bit more

    I use both OS X and Windows 7, but for me the big difference is that Leopard was a good OS and for $29 SL was reasonable. Vista, in my personal experience was shitty, and in no way do I feel like paying $150 or more to upgrade to what Vista should have been in the first place.

    Windows Mobile 7 may be great, but I'd suggest to Microsoft that they at least have a bit of success before declaring their major competitors dead and fucking up a Michael Jackson song...

    --
    I still cannot find the droids I am looking for...
  19. Re:I've been in the industry a while by Undead+Waffle · · Score: 5, Insightful

    I was on the teams that shipped the iPod, every generation since the first.

    LET ME INSTALL ROCKBOX YOU JERK

  20. Re:Mad Old Uncle Bob, Too. by Nerdfest · · Score: 4, Funny

    and pallbearers carrying a giant iPhone

    ... that's a pretty basic mistake for a tech site. It's called an "iPad".

  21. Jesus, people. by flimflammer · · Score: 3, Insightful

    Why is everyone taking the iPhone "funeral" thing so literally as if Microsoft actually expects to be the end of the iPhone?

    They're just goofing off, just like that cheesy internal marketing video that surfaced on the web a few years back. Are Microsoft employees not allowed to have any fun by poking fun at their competitors?