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United Nations Names Ambassador To Aliens
Shag writes "Although searches for extraterrestrial intelligence have thus far come up empty-handed, the United Nations appears to be preparing for eventual 'first contact.' Many media outlets are carrying the story that Mazlan Othman, a Malaysian astrophysicist who heads the UN's Office for Outer Space Affairs in Vienna — already charged with things like keeping track of satellites to prevent Kessler Syndrome and coordinating the international response to any earth-impacting asteroids — will be the first person to meet with aliens if they do show up."
Update: 09/27 16:42 GMT by S : Looks like this one's too good to be true — in an email to The Guardian, Othman said, "It sounds really cool but I have to deny it."
Why doesn't the UN nominate one of those guys living in the backwoods to be the Ambassador to aliens? It seems to me that those guys are the people who seem to be getting abducted by aliens the most, not well-known astrophysicists.
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they will give a book called To Serve Man
My bets for official first contact are sometime in December of 2012.
I guess it depends on how you want the first meeting to go, but maybe Jodi Foster or Sigourney Weaver would have been better choices. Or Ahhhnold. But he has to get to the chopper.
I hear a lot of illegal aliens come from Mexico
did you forget to take your meds?
The best first contact team is clearly an egotistical mathematician, an even more egotistical physicist, a biologist with clinical depression and low self-esteem, and lastly a psychologist that doesn't take his job seriously. We just have to hope the aliens aren't spherical or that the contact is made under water.
The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for it to be pitted against a slightly greater evil
That's very interesting Caller, but tonight we are talking about how and why Kenny Rogers was behind the Kennedy Assassination. Next we have a Clyde from east of the Rockies. You're on Caller.
They should have appointed a Poet.
How do they know the alien will want to make first contact with a human instead of some other life form? Presumably its first instinct will be to reach out to a moving car as the obvious dominant life form.
Now that you mention it, don't most of those contacts also involve anal probing with dildo-shaped implements, mutilating cattle and apparently making crop circles for the heck of it?
I mean, I can imagine a thousand Martian redneck hillbilies going,
"Hey, Billy Joe Bob, it says here them Earthlings have a new ambers.. am... contact person."
"What's one of those do, Bubba?"
"Way I figures it, Billy Joe Bob, it means we gots to meet her when we goes down there."
"But we was gonna do some crop circling and mutilate some of those strange animals they keep around. Do ya figure she's gonna help us with that?"
"Nope, probably not."
"Right, I'll fire up the ol' anal probe then."
"Careful back there, Billy Joe Bob, I just bought us the Jackhammer probe upgrade. Don't wreck nuthing with it."
I mean, why not just get the goatse guy as the ambassador?
A polar bear is a cartesian bear after a coordinate transform.
I'm no rocket scientist, but I for one would feel safer if we put a stripper in charge of greeting the aliens.
Wanna fight ? Bend over, stick your head up your ass, and fight for air.
Why would aliens intrinsiclly meet with humans?
Because of our great spelling skills, and furthermore we're the best at rishathra, or so I read. If that woman ever reads the ringworld books, its gonna be awkward.
"Science flies us to the moon. Religion flies us into buildings." - Victor Stenger
He'd be the one with all the hot cavechicks around him.
To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it
They should appointed someone with some multi-language skills. What language we should assume the aliens will speak?
English, obviously. Just like in the movies. Aliens watch movies too I'd assume.
The US Air Force is just a small part of the UN Air Force.
Time is going to be on our side regardless and we will likely have months or even years to appoint such a representative if an ambassador of this nature is ever encountered.
Well, the clock started ticking when the scout crashed in roswell, and now the mothership is arriving, so really this is a case of the UN being slow on the uptake as usual.
"Who is the Journal of Quantum Physics going to believe?" --Stephen Hawking
to be honest, it's probably not nearly as bad as it sounds. consider this chart.
http://nerdnirvana.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/Lets-say-youre-the-first-human-ever-to-make-alien-contact.gif
Why would aliens intrinsiclly meet with humans?
Trees are lousy conversationalists.
And maybe superintelligent aliens have evolved beyond dreary, weepy, emo-goth kid, warmed over nihilism that uses Keanu Reeve movies to make their (for lack of a better term) point.
You have made Sad Keanu even sadder. :-(
He meant to say a penguin in the attic. Makes much more sense, wouldn't you agree? A simple spelling error.
http://www.acetonestudio.com
Why would aliens intrinsiclly meet with humans?
Why are you commenting on slashdot instead of having tea and crumpets with the roaches under your sink?