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Laptop Heat May Cause 'Toasted Skin Syndrome'

Posted by CmdrTaco on from the protect-your-crotch dept.

mrvook submitted an item that might affect a lot of you "Working with a laptop on one's lap for extended periods of time has been found to cause heat damage and skin discoloration in a handful of cases, prompting researchers examining the phenomenon to recommend thermal protection for laptop users and warnings labels on laptop device packaging." Only 10 cases have actually been reported, so this might just be a case of media hyping something, or it could be the end of the world with a generation of nerds doomed to sterility and crunchy crotches.

13 of 195 comments (clear)

  1. Really? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    "...a generation of nerds doomed to sterility..."

    Are we really worried about nerds being sterile?

    1. Re:Really? by Lumpy · · Score: 4, Funny

      It's not actually the nerds that are getting sterilized.. It's the hot blonds that are. Geeks and Nerds are anal enough to not use the laptop in a un-optimal position, I.E. on the lap. Therefore they seek out a table or other surface. Or they get "clever" and design a lap support platform that lifts the "lap" top to proper typing height.

      Dumb blonds and others that really know very little about proper computer use, leave the thing on their lap and don't have the neurons to communicate "Ow this is hot, get it off me" from their groin area to their brain...

      Most of the time it's mis-read as "I'm hungry" or "I have to pee"

      IT's these creatures, specifically the MBA or Marketing genus line of these creatures we are looking to protect. They are the ones that need the warnings on Toasters that say not to use in the bathtub, or curling irons that say "do not insert into any orifice"... Which is too vague, most of these creatures dont understand the word orifice, and think it's a type of Spanish dessert.

      --
      Do not look at laser with remaining good eye.
  2. In other news by dane23 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Scientists prove that heat makes things hot and should be avoided when you don't want things to be, you know, hot.

    --


    Warning! Keep Out of Eyes! Wash Out with Water! Don't Drink Soap! Dilute! Dilute!
  3. A new feature for the i5 by Bill_the_Engineer · · Score: 5, Funny

    Only 10 cases have actually been reported, so this might just be a case of media hyping something, or it could be the end of the world with a generation of nerds doomed to sterility and crunchy crotches.

    Cool a laptop that is not only powerful, but also eliminates the need for trimming and birth control. Ladies will start looking at the nerd carrying the laptop in a whole new light... ;P

    --
    These comments are my own and do not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of my employer or colleagues...
  4. Re:Huh? by Anne_Nonymous · · Score: 5, Funny

    Ow! Your stupid warning label reflected sunlight into my eyes! See you in court jerk!

  5. Re:Huh? by gstoddart · · Score: 4, Funny

    Ow! Your stupid warning label reflected sunlight into my eyes! See you in court jerk!

    Oh, sorry. The warning label has fine print that says do not look at label in direct sunlight. You're on your own.

    And, remember ... do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.

    --
    Lost at C:>. Found at C.
  6. toasted skin syndrome? by OglinTatas · · Score: 4, Funny

    Because "weenie roast" is too gender-specific

    --
    More music, fewer hits
  7. Life imitating art by jr0dy · · Score: 3, Funny

    I believe this explains the events which transpired in the film "Children of Men". :)

    --
    I heart anarcho-capitalism.
    1. Re:Life imitating art by Monkey_Genius · · Score: 2, Funny

      Glagnar's Human Rinds!

      --
      I've got your sig, right here.
  8. Re:TFA! by oldhack · · Score: 5, Funny

    Oooh, clever, pulling out the "think of the children!"

    Screw those pests.

    --
    Fuck systemd. Fuck Redhat. Fuck Soylent, too. Wait, scratch the last one.
  9. Bathe the affected area in honey water. by hey! · · Score: 3, Funny

    Next, remove the skin, placing it on a mandarin crepe that has been spread with a teaspoon of hoisin sauce. Top with a sprig of green onion, then fold/roll into a burrito style package.

    Serve, pairing with a reisling, dry Chardonnay or a white Bordeaux.

    --
    Post may contain irony: discontinue use if experiencing mood swings, nausea or elevated blood pressure.
  10. Re:iPad by TheMidget · · Score: 2, Funny

    (Your wife may of course decide to roast them after you show her the bill.)

    Your husband. It's an Apple product after all...

  11. Re:TFA! by couchslug · · Score: 2, Funny

    "Screw those pests."

    Pedobear, it that you?

    --
    "This post is an artistic work of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact."