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Badgers Digging Up Ancient Human Remains
One of England's oldest graveyards is under siege by badgers. Rev Simon Shouler now regularly patrols the grounds of St. Remigius Church looking for bones that the badgers have dug up. The badger is a protected species in England so they can not be killed, and attempts to have them relocated have been blocked by English Nature. From the article: "At least four graves have been disturbed so far; in one instance a child found a leg bone and took it home to his parents. ... Rev. Simon Shouler has been forced to carry out regular patrols to pick up stray bones, store them and re-inter them all in a new grave."
http://www.weebls-stuff.com/songs/badgers/
Invaders must die
Is it me or is the tradition of being buried becoming more and more ridiculous the further we venture into the reality that is the future.
Frankly cremation is the current preference, that doesn't end in a badger exhumation.
Badger badger badger badger. Leg bone! Leg bone! Ohhhhh, Grave!
They're probably more interested in the mushrooms. SNAKEE SNAKEEE!!!
Am I strange? I quite like the idea oif my remains being eaten by badgers. Its part of the circle of life. I have always thought that the Native American tree burials and Zoroastrian towers of silence are somehow very satisfying and symbolic of our return to nature.
We don't need no stinking...ah forget it.
Uh this is England. Shooting people, other than Brazilian electricians and tooled-up lawyers, is rather frowned upon here.
If I had the choice I'd say: feed my remains to wolves, sharks, hyenas - whatever fits the food chain - and no badger would cause any issues when building its new home.
Sadly that's not allowed in Germany and you have to get buried or burnt.
No, no they couldn't – they could call the police, they could go and confront them and ask them to piss off, they could not shoot them. The latter option at least is available with badgers, but you may have to use different language.
Why do badgers have more rights than humans?
Because, unlike you (presumably), badgers are at somewhat of a disadvantage when it comes to the freedom to choose where they want to live.
Animals, in many cases, should have more rights than humans, especially endangered ones. If you don't like it, then stop fucking up their habitat.
Someone flopped a steamer in the gene pool.
I don't think you could stretch it to self defense, but when I first saw the article, my thought was "This belongs in idle. Just shoot the badgers." However, looking at the responses here, I see that I am in the vast minority. Suggestions seem to range from "It's just human remains, let the kids play with them." to "We can find better ways to get rid of the bodies". Sure, I know that once a person is dead, the body is an empty shell, but I'm still of a mind that it trumps some animal. I guess this is why sometimes I feel like I've entered the Twilight Zone.
There are 10 commandments: 01)Thou shalt love the Lord Thy God 10)Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.Matt22:34-40
Why would human remains trump badgers?
Why should our emotional attachment to bit of dead folks mean that cute, furry, stripy badgers should be killed?
I don't think it's the twilight zone. The UK has already wiped out pretty much every wild animal it ever had that was larger than a badger. And we like badgers.
Badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger CORPSE CORPSE badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger OOH SPINE OOH IT'S A SPINE
OK, this wasn't funny at all. Mount your rotten tomatos.
Because they never hire lawyers to exercise them.
May the Maths Be with you!
Instead of burying people, we should eat them.
You'd think mad cow disease would discourage that sort of behavior.
Shai Schticks:"You don't make peace with friends, you make peace with enemies"
The GP is a fine example of why this sort of news story is coming about.
I'm quite a fan of the new government for the most part, but since they've come to power there's been an escalation of "news" stories about foxes attacking people, badgers causing problems etc. Call me cynical, but I find it strange that these sorts of stories have started to appear frequently at the same time as the government is making a push to bring back Fox hunting (no, not hunting as in America i.e. with guns- the sick fucked up version that only people with a disturbing psycopathic blood lust would enjoy) and to allow for badger culls by farmers.
I don't think any of this stuff is new, limited to badgers, or particularly newsworthy to be quite honest. I think it's just a case of needing something in the news about them to bolster the governments position on killing them so that irresponsible farmers who have destroyed their habitat pushing them into urban areas or into contact with their cattle in the first place can continue to be irresponsible, and can continue to grow fields of cabbages which they never harvest anyway because they grew too much, but want their government subsidy.
I like the idea that you think a church in a tiny village in rural England a) has security, and b) has armed security.
Badger whatchoo diggin' there/With your bum up in the air?
Shaft!
Why you movin' body parts/Skulls and legs and even hearts?
Shaft!
You say that mine shaft's a badger house?
Shut yo' mouth!
Gonna dig it!
I've calculated my velocity with such exquisite precision that I have no idea where I am.
When you're dead you're dead. I don't have a problem with my bones being dug out by hungry/idle badgers, and I quite like the idea of being taken home by kiddies to meet mum and dad - its good to think I would continue being of educational value, rather than just a bit more pollution.
Oh geez. And here I thought California was soft.
(It could be a lack of clarity in the write-up)
Jurors must decide if the lawyer "deliberately and consciously" used his shotgun, provoking the police to shoot. [Not whether his actions could reasonably be interpreted that way during a time of crisis?]
The jury, which is expected to go out on Wednesday, was asked to answer several questions ...
Was "sufficient weight" given to the fact that Mr Saunders, who was drunk at the time, was a vulnerable person?
Article includes a picture of Mr Saunders holding said shotgun while leaning out the window.
(No, I don't know more about the story. First I've heard about it.)
I won't join Slashcott. OTOH, If Beta goes live, I just won't be back until it's fixed. Sorry Dice.
Cremation requires a huge amount of fuel.
I suggest making biodiesel, pet food, and fertilizer.
We could auction off the corpses for such purposes.
Imagine them stacked on pallets with plastic straps to
keep them from falling off and a plastic wrap to keep
the arms and legs in. Corpse bundles would be rated
according to estimated meat, fat, and leftover content.
Buyers would get a chance to request individual
auction for corpses that they find to be particularly
desirable. Among other things, this would allow
museums to acquire famous people for public display.
What I know about rural England could fit in a thimble, so: is it such a harmless place that not a single parishioner owns a shotgun and is willing to use it?
Maybe you're reading too many tabloids (i.e. reading any tabloids at all)? I've never heard any stories abut foxes attacking people, and this is the first I've heard about badgers causing trouble either, apart from one story about how culling may speed up the spread of TB among livestock.
It looks like nobody told the animals to...
*puts on sunglasses* ...stop badgering the corpses.
YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
~Syberz
What I know about rural England could fit in a thimble, so: is it such a harmless place that not a single parishioner owns a shotgun and is willing to use it?
Probably.
In any case, rural England isn't very far from urban England, and urban England will have police in cars, armed if necessary (i.e. only occasionally). That village is certainly rural, but it's only 8 miles from the nearest town (Melton Mowbray, home of the pork pie. The village is one of the places that makes genuine Stilton).
Wikipedia entry for the village
Village news
Given that shotgun licences aren't very easy to obtain, and you need to show just cause for having one (being a farmer is usually good enough), they're not as common as once was the case.
Also, if you go brandishing a shotgun, the armed police will be called.
In the US, "armed police" means a fat 45+ normal cop with a donut, coffee and a 92F.
In the UK, the only armed police are the ones that do armed standoffs, terrorist incidents etc., somewhat like your SWAT teams, and they carry MP5's and are the serious, young, very-fit used-to-be-in-the-special-forces types, who will shoot you if you look dodgy. And get away with it in court, too.
And yes, merely walking around the church-yard with a 12-bore will get them called out. Even if the vicar knows they're there, a local old biddy can make the call and the cops will show up. In 3 or 4 off-roaders, and a helicopter.
Think I'm kidding? "Cool story, bro" time. My dumb-ass moron neighbours (i live in a shitty area) decided they were gonna go rabbit-hunting in the woods on the hill behind our 'hood. Being they a) drug-addled idiots, b) teenagers and c) completely lacking in any knowledge about firearms or the armed police, they thought it'd be fine to go waving around their air-rifles. .22's. They also had BB pistols which, to a blind, half-dead dickhead old person might look like something resembling a 9mm. So they started threatening some normal dog-walking folks with their BB's.
Yep, air-rifles, not even
Normal folk think "meh, moron neds with BB's, suppose I should phone the cops though, they'll only be out causing trouble later otherwise". Cops get phoned, are told someone has a handgun and was threatening people. They respond in force, helicopter, dogs teams, the works. Cops come to my neighbours flat-block where the wee shits have since ran too, having heard the chopper.
We then have an armed stand-off as the wee shits are pulled out the house one by one, by the 12+ armed response guys standing out from of the building (not to mention the ones surrounding the rear etc.) with the loudspeaker etc. Neighbourhood is cordoned off, the gardens behind the buildings got the guys coming in, vaulting fences etc. moving the old grannies out sunbathing (now shitting themselves, LOL) etc.
For a BB airgun. In the woods, near a somewhat isolated housing estate.
Now imagine the response for someone discharging an actual real firearm, in the centre of a busy town.
Then ask again if anyone who needs a firearm for their livelihood (as in, they'll lose their farm if they don't have one because of livestock regulations etc.) would be willing to come do the dirty deed on jeremy the badger
The truth shall always be free: Boris Floricic is Tron.
They usually will live in one extended family in one place for hundreds of years ... and once established will put up with people and their buildings etc..
So I suspect the Badgers have been there longer than people ...
Puteulanus fenestra mortis
how did you indians get to north america from india before columbus?
(yes, i'm joking)
look, i understand why native americans are called indians: columbus got lost and thought he was in india. my problem is, it became readily apparent to everyone that he was NOT in india soon after, so why did the terminology continue for so long?
i mean look at this:
http://www.bia.gov/
wtf?!
why the bleep does the usa still have something called a bureau of INDIAN affairs? tradition? a tradition of stupidity? when the ambassador from new delhi arrives in washington dc and knocks on the wrong door, isn't anyone a little embarrassed at this silliness?
it's insanity. at least canada has gone and revamped all of their official government lingo and calls native americans "first nation". while that terminology sounds a little patronizing, its still infinitely superior to the completely wrong terminology "indian"
why the bleep does the usa have a bureau of INDIAN affairs? to be fair, the spanish speaking american countries still have the term "indio" too, it's not all the usa's continuing error. but i simply don't get it. the linguistic error should have been corrected somewhere around the year 1500, right?
indian americans, children of immigrants from the indian subcontinent, and visitors from india must find this all very amusing. native americans, probably not so much
intellectual property law is philosophically incoherent. it is your moral duty to ignore it or sabotage it
Made me chuckle. "Gonna dig it!"
-kgj
Oh really? Fears Grow as Fox Spotted on Top of a Horse.
:)
This sig all sigs devours
Maybe the Reverend should threaten to excommunicate them?
Oh, so I guess you mean the kind of fox hunting with dogs tearing apart the foxes that only a cultured English gentlemen would enjoy?
Gamingmuseum.com: Give your 3D accelerator a rest.
http://weebls-stuff.com/songs/badgers/
comment first, facts later. http://chem.tufts.edu/AnswersInScience/RelativityofWrong.htm
Well, generally, you call the local constabulary before you go shooting that sort of thing. "Hello, officer, it's Rev. Jones. Mr Williams will be hunting badger tonight, no need to worry over a few shots fired. Drop by and help him out if you like." I knew a guy once who had a full-auto license. He made a point of calling the appropriate sheriff's department before firing it in unfamiliar places.
That said, in the US you'd need one for coyotes, wildcats, wild/roaming dogs, etc. Idyllic place indeed if that's never a worry.
Oh sure... humans digging up ancient badgers isn't news, but when its turned around suddenly its "oh the poor ancient humans."
If you did that, you'd definitely get the armed cops out, assuming the local plod you called wasn't a nice guy (they've done away with common-sense possessors in recent years, in favour of social-studies graduates who wouldn't know what a criminal was if he was standing in front of them, picking his pocket, but can tell you the 47 different ways you can break someone's human rights by referring to them in the wrong tense in a sentence, or how to avoid offending someone by the correct use of politically correct language!)
In addition, since badgers are a protected species, you'd also have the wildlife protection bunch come down to help add a dozen extra offences to the list. This, along with the armed response team, the local plod who'll attend because it's in their patch and it's more interesting than sudoku, the forensics boys, the "victim counselling" people in case anyone has been traumatised, the "community relations" team in case you're a member of an ethnic community (to try and avoid a race-riot) will mean it's now a "major incident", which gives higher-ups a chance to attend, along with their crew of media-relations folks etc. so you might get the news crew too if there's nothing else interesting occurring
Basically, it's all about job-justification. Armed-response teams aren't really in much demand. The entire UK had about 100 gun-related deaths last year, and this is mostly down to inner-city gangs. Compare with the US which has about 4 times the population but about 15,000 gun deaths.
Outside of London and a few other inner-city gang-wars, there isn't much need for ARU's. But of course they have to have one since if something *does* happen, they can't borrow a team from London etc. This means they're constantly trying to justify why they have 5 team members not four etc. so if there's anything they can remotely attend, they will, and they'll escalate it to where some dumb kids playing with firecrakers (one of whom has a sun-tan) is suddenly an Al-Queada training-camp.
It's a mad, mad world...
The truth shall always be free: Boris Floricic is Tron.
Fine with me. Just don't let them mess with the mounds of freshly dug earth in my back yard.
Have gnu, will travel.
The badgers are just trying to enforce quantum mechanics. The remains are Bozons, and belong all in one grave. If they were Fermions, they'd belong in separate ground states.
Lost: one sig, witty, 120 chars, sentimental value. Reward offered.
I'm just thinking...
badger badger badger badger
Mushroom! Mushroom!!!
Just use some Critter Ridder. Works for our neighbors' cats.
Table-ized A.I.
Disclosure: I make and apply my shaving cream with badger-hair brushes.
How about the brits offer a bounty for trapped badgers, slaughter them, and sign up with a company like Simpson to make special edition UK-made badger shaving brushes to 1) offset the cost of the bounty and 2) fund badger ranching cooperatives.
.. pa-ra-bo-la, pa-ra-bo-la, 2 pi R, 2 pi R, where's your latus rectum, where's your latus rectum, 2 pi R
I'll never understand why we store our dead. It's such a waste of land and other resources. The people involved don't care, they're dead.
There are no tiger attacks in my area and it's all because this rock I'm holding keeps the tigers away.