Slashdot Mirror
The Case For Apple Buying Facebook
The article makes the case that Jobs has been hinting that he wants to actually spend some of the $51 billion Apple has been sitting on, and that Facebook is a likely candidate. Considering how thin the Ping social network is, and the integration issues the two companies have had, there are some good reasons for such a deal. And a heck of a lot of reasons why not.
Sounds like its time to find a new social media website.
Carl Sagan quotes get you an automatic +5 on all posts.
Usually Apple buys small, "cheap" and useful companies and Facebook doesn't belong to any of these categories.
Buy Dell and close it down. Just to make Michael Dell eat his words.
Once upon a time, there was this amazing company called Netscape. It was so fantastic that this other company called AOL bought it for over $4 billion.
Later on, there was this amazing company called AOL. It was so fantastic that this other company called Time Warner believed it was valued it at something like a quarter trillion dollars, so merged with it.
Later on, there was this amazing company called Facebook...
...Except for the fact that Facebook has an elevated self-worth at the moment. Social networks really only have a lifespan of a few years before they are no longer used by the masses.
If Apple wanted to buy Facebook, they should have done it a few years ago, or perhaps a few years in the future. If Apple buys it now, they have a very limited amount of time before the feature is still a feature.
FB has very little IP, the only thing they have is users and brand recognition but MySpace also had that but essentially lost it.
Taxation is legalized theft, no more, no less.
The new, improved! Fapple!
Yah, I'd want a different social media website too. And a shower. Yech.
"What in the name of Fats Waller is that?"
"A four-foot prune."
Facebook staff have been amazed to discover that when Facebook passes users' complete details to application developers and advertisers, some of the partner companies might accidentally let slip the information in some manner.
"We are appalled at this information leak," said Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg as he took a break from his personal RSS feed of drunk women's tits posted to his service. "But I can assure you that we have sternly suggested to everyone involved that they take somewhat greater care not to get caught, and maintain a serious demeanor when rolling around in the great big pit filled with money in their basement."
"I'm horrified and outraged," said office worker Brenda Busybody, 43 (IQ), "that stuff I put on the Internet is on the Internet. It violates everything I expect. I want privacy when I'm calling my boss a useless fuckstick to the entire world, all my coworkers and my boss himself. And when I'm playing a bit of FarmVille before we nick off down the pub."
Privacy advocates are working on Diaspora, a security-enhanced social network so far populated by Linux users who cryptographically sign every update about which episode of Babylon 5 they just finished watching alone in their parents' basement. "START PGP KEY BLOCK!" said open source software advocate Hiram Nerdboy, 17. "WE WILL PROTECT YOUR FREEDOMS!" The next version of Diaspora will allow users to list more than three friends, should there be any demand whatsoever for such a feature.
Facebook works on the now-standard "Web 2.0" business model: 1. Brutally sodomise the personal privacy of anyone who comes within a mile of your service and say "hey baby, I'm sorry" every time you're busted. 2. Sell ads.
http://rocknerd.co.uk