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US Army Develops Tooth Cleaning Gum
pryoplasm writes "To help deal with some of the hygiene issues on the battlefield, the US Army worked on a gum to take the place of brushing your teeth. This might be eventually released and marketed to the public. While there are many gums out there that aren't so detrimental to your teeth, this one promises actually to help them out."
Clean it up with Orbit!
yeah, while they may not actually brush your teeth, there are already gum brands on the market that do help protect your teeth.
As a proud xylitol-chewing Finn, this would really help.
Hey, I thought thats what sugarless gum has been used for..... years now? Wonder what this development cost the military/US govt?
Visit Jonesblog and say hello.
All kinds of military developments have filtered out to the civilian market.
Antiperspirant/deodorant. GPS. Radar. Microwave communication.
It's just how some things develop.
LK
"Hi. This is my friend, Jack Shit, and you don't know him." - Lord Kano
Your typical MRE has contained two little green squares of grainy gum, with this stated purpose, for years and years.
Works, too.
Amazing, they invented a gum that acts like gum!
It freshens your breath and whitens your teeth!
AMAZING!
"We came to kick ass and chew bubble gum, and we're all out of gum." Duke Nukem would be proud.
Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler. - Albert Einstein
..to prevent teeth related issues altogether.
We always had a good rumor that the "gum" in the MRE's was a laxative. I wonder what rumor will pop up about this gum.
A tooth cleaning gun would be way more cool, and would probably strike a lot more fear in the hearts of our enemies. God knows if I had a choice between a sit down with a military dentist and being waterboarded, I'd take the waterboarding as the more humane alternative (I'm an Air Force brat and the worst pain I've experienced in my 40 years of life so far was at the hands of an Air Force Dentist when I was 11 or 12.)
I'm trying to teach myself to set people on fire with my mind... Is it hot in here?
Every time I see that quote attributed to Duke Nukem, I bristle. The original quote came from a 1988 movie called They Live, starring wrestler "Rowdy" Roddy Piper and Keith David. I actually paid good money to go see that at a theater!
I guess Duke Nukem made the phrase famous, but still, it was blatantly stolen. The exact quote is:
In the movie, Roddy had just burst into a bank with shotguns looking to kill him some aliens. When he delivered the line, I thought I was going to die laughing, it was so over-the-top. Anyone who likes Duke Nukem should see the movie at some point to enjoy the original source of the quote in all of its glory.
If the army is handing it out, is it ham-flavored?
John
Congratulations on your purchase of a brand new nigger! If handled properly, your apeman will give years of valuable, if reluctant, service.
INSTALLING YOUR NIGGER.
You should install your nigger differently according to whether you have purchased the field or house model. Field niggers work best in a serial configuration, i.e. chained together. Chain your nigger to another nigger immediately after unpacking it, and don't even think about taking that chain off, ever. Many niggers start singing as soon as you put a chain on them. This habit can usually be thrashed out of them if nipped in the bud. House niggers work best as standalone units, but should be hobbled or hamstrung to prevent attempts at escape. At this stage, your nigger can also be given a name. Most owners use the same names over and over, since niggers become confused by too much data. Rufus, Rastus, Remus, Toby, Carslisle, Carlton, Hey-You!-Yes-you!, Yeller, Blackstar, and Sambo are all effective names for your new buck nigger. If your nigger is a ho, it should be called Latrelle, L'Tanya, or Jemima. Some owners call their nigger hoes Latrine for a joke. Pearl, Blossom, and Ivory are also righteous names for nigger hoes. These names go straight over your nigger's head, by the way.
CONFIGURING YOUR NIGGER
Owing to a design error, your nigger comes equipped with a tongue and vocal chords. Most niggers can master only a few basic human phrases with this apparatus - "muh dick" being the most popular. However, others make barking, yelping, yapping noises and appear to be in some pain, so you should probably call a vet and have him remove your nigger's tongue. Once de-tongued your nigger will be a lot happier - at least, you won't hear it complaining anywhere near as much. Niggers have nothing interesting to say, anyway. Many owners also castrate their niggers for health reasons (yours, mine, and that of women, not the nigger's). This is strongly recommended, and frankly, it's a mystery why this is not done on the boat
HOUSING YOUR NIGGER.
Your nigger can be accommodated in cages with stout iron bars. Make sure, however, that the bars are wide enough to push pieces of nigger food through. The rule of thumb is, four niggers per square yard of cage. So a fifteen foot by thirty foot nigger cage can accommodate two hundred niggers. You can site a nigger cage anywhere, even on soft ground. Don't worry about your nigger fashioning makeshift shovels out of odd pieces of wood and digging an escape tunnel under the bars of the cage. Niggers never invented the shovel before and they're not about to now. In any case, your nigger is certainly too lazy to attempt escape. As long as the free food holds out, your nigger is living better than it did in Africa, so it will stay put. Buck niggers and hoe niggers can be safely accommodated in the same cage, as bucks never attempt sex with black hoes.
FEEDING YOUR NIGGER.
Your Nigger likes fried chicken, corn bread, and watermelon. You should therefore give it none of these things because its lazy ass almost certainly doesn't deserve it. Instead, feed it on porridge with salt, and creek water. Your nigger will supplement its diet with whatever it finds in the fields, other niggers, etc. Experienced nigger owners sometimes push watermelon slices through the bars of the nigger cage at the end of the day as a treat, but only if all niggers have worked well and nothing has been stolen that day. Mike of the Old Ranch Plantation reports that this last one is a killer, since all niggers steal something almost every single day of their lives. He reports he doesn't have to spend much on free watermelon for his niggers as a result. You should never allow your nigger meal breaks while at work, since if it stops work for more than ten minutes it will need to be retrained. You would be surprised how long it takes to teach a nigger to pick cotton. You really would. Coffee beans? Don't ask. You have no idea.
MAKING YOUR NIGGER WORK.
Niggers are very, very averse to work of any kind. The nigger's most
Congratulations on your purchase of a brand new nigger! If handled properly, your apeman will give years of valuable, if reluctant, service!
INSTALLING YOUR NIGGER.
You should install your nigger differently according to whether you have purchased the field or house model. Field niggers work best in a serial configuration, i.e. chained together. Chain your nigger to another nigger immediately after unpacking it, and don't even think about taking that chain off, ever. Many niggers start singing as soon as you put a chain on them. This habit can usually be thrashed out of them if nipped in the bud. House niggers work best as standalone units, but should be hobbled or hamstrung to prevent attempts at escape. At this stage, your nigger can also be given a name. Most owners use the same names over and over, since niggers become confused by too much data. Rufus, Rastus, Remus, Toby, Carslisle, Carlton, Hey-You!-Yes-you!, Yeller, Blackstar, and Sambo are all effective names for your new buck nigger. If your nigger is a ho, it should be called Latrelle, L'Tanya, or Jemima. Some owners call their nigger hoes Latrine for a joke. Pearl, Blossom, and Ivory are also righteous names for nigger hoes. These names go straight over your nigger's head, by the way.
CONFIGURING YOUR NIGGER
Owing to a design error, your nigger comes equipped with a tongue and vocal chords. Most niggers can master only a few basic human phrases with this apparatus - "muh dick" being the most popular. However, others make barking, yelping, yapping noises and appear to be in some pain, so you should probably call a vet and have him remove your nigger's tongue. Once de-tongued your nigger will be a lot happier - at least, you won't hear it complaining anywhere near as much. Niggers have nothing interesting to say, anyway. Many owners also castrate their niggers for health reasons (yours, mine, and that of women, not the nigger's). This is strongly recommended, and frankly, it's a mystery why this is not done on the boat
HOUSING YOUR NIGGER.
Your nigger can be accommodated in cages with stout iron bars. Make sure, however, that the bars are wide enough to push pieces of nigger food through. The rule of thumb is, four niggers per square yard of cage. So a fifteen foot by thirty foot nigger cage can accommodate two hundred niggers. You can site a nigger cage anywhere, even on soft ground. Don't worry about your nigger fashioning makeshift shovels out of odd pieces of wood and digging an escape tunnel under the bars of the cage. Niggers never invented the shovel before and they're not about to now. In any case, your nigger is certainly too lazy to attempt escape. As long as the free food holds out, your nigger is living better than it did in Africa, so it will stay put. Buck niggers and hoe niggers can be safely accommodated in the same cage, as bucks never attempt sex with black hoes.
FEEDING YOUR NIGGER.
Your Nigger likes fried chicken, corn bread, and watermelon. You should therefore give it none of these things because its lazy ass almost certainly doesn't deserve it. Instead, feed it on porridge with salt, and creek water. Your nigger will supplement its diet with whatever it finds in the fields, other niggers, etc. Experienced nigger owners sometimes push watermelon slices through the bars of the nigger cage at the end of the day as a treat, but only if all niggers have worked well and nothing has been stolen that day. Mike of the Old Ranch Plantation reports that this last one is a killer, since all niggers steal something almost every single day of their lives. He reports he doesn't have to spend much on free watermelon for his niggers as a result. You should never allow your nigger meal breaks while at work, since if it stops work for more than ten minutes it will need to be retrained. You would be surprised how long it takes to teach a nigger to pick cotton. You really would. Coffee beans? Don't ask. You have no idea.
MAKING YOUR NIGGER WORK.
Niggers are very, very averse to work of any kind. The nigger's most
Congratulations on your purchase of a brand new nigger! If handled properly, your apeman will give years of valuable, if reluctant, service!!
INSTALLING YOUR NIGGER.
You should install your nigger differently according to whether you have purchased the field or house model. Field niggers work best in a serial configuration, i.e. chained together. Chain your nigger to another nigger immediately after unpacking it, and don't even think about taking that chain off, ever. Many niggers start singing as soon as you put a chain on them. This habit can usually be thrashed out of them if nipped in the bud. House niggers work best as standalone units, but should be hobbled or hamstrung to prevent attempts at escape. At this stage, your nigger can also be given a name. Most owners use the same names over and over, since niggers become confused by too much data. Rufus, Rastus, Remus, Toby, Carslisle, Carlton, Hey-You!-Yes-you!, Yeller, Blackstar, and Sambo are all effective names for your new buck nigger. If your nigger is a ho, it should be called Latrelle, L'Tanya, or Jemima. Some owners call their nigger hoes Latrine for a joke. Pearl, Blossom, and Ivory are also righteous names for nigger hoes. These names go straight over your nigger's head, by the way.
CONFIGURING YOUR NIGGER
Owing to a design error, your nigger comes equipped with a tongue and vocal chords. Most niggers can master only a few basic human phrases with this apparatus - "muh dick" being the most popular. However, others make barking, yelping, yapping noises and appear to be in some pain, so you should probably call a vet and have him remove your nigger's tongue. Once de-tongued your nigger will be a lot happier - at least, you won't hear it complaining anywhere near as much. Niggers have nothing interesting to say, anyway. Many owners also castrate their niggers for health reasons (yours, mine, and that of women, not the nigger's). This is strongly recommended, and frankly, it's a mystery why this is not done on the boat
HOUSING YOUR NIGGER.
Your nigger can be accommodated in cages with stout iron bars. Make sure, however, that the bars are wide enough to push pieces of nigger food through. The rule of thumb is, four niggers per square yard of cage. So a fifteen foot by thirty foot nigger cage can accommodate two hundred niggers. You can site a nigger cage anywhere, even on soft ground. Don't worry about your nigger fashioning makeshift shovels out of odd pieces of wood and digging an escape tunnel under the bars of the cage. Niggers never invented the shovel before and they're not about to now. In any case, your nigger is certainly too lazy to attempt escape. As long as the free food holds out, your nigger is living better than it did in Africa, so it will stay put. Buck niggers and hoe niggers can be safely accommodated in the same cage, as bucks never attempt sex with black hoes.
FEEDING YOUR NIGGER.
Your Nigger likes fried chicken, corn bread, and watermelon. You should therefore give it none of these things because its lazy ass almost certainly doesn't deserve it. Instead, feed it on porridge with salt, and creek water. Your nigger will supplement its diet with whatever it finds in the fields, other niggers, etc. Experienced nigger owners sometimes push watermelon slices through the bars of the nigger cage at the end of the day as a treat, but only if all niggers have worked well and nothing has been stolen that day. Mike of the Old Ranch Plantation reports that this last one is a killer, since all niggers steal something almost every single day of their lives. He reports he doesn't have to spend much on free watermelon for his niggers as a result. You should never allow your nigger meal breaks while at work, since if it stops work for more than ten minutes it will need to be retrained. You would be surprised how long it takes to teach a nigger to pick cotton. You really would. Coffee beans? Don't ask. You have no idea.
MAKING YOUR NIGGER WORK.
Niggers are very, very averse to work of any kind. The nigger's mos
When one contemplates going to a military dentist, one also seriously considers using some shotgun mouthwash.
That explains a lot, actually
This was the original point of chewing gum, which was based upon the Mayan habit of chewing zapote gum for dental health.
trident has been making claims of positive effects on teeth for years..
http://www.jbox.com/product/SNK041
Only in Japan, I suppose.
Why is a nearly 5 year old article making news just now?
"..One hosts to look them up, one DNS to find them, and in the darkness BIND them."
squeeze a line of colgate onto the basin and let it sit overnight. In the morning... gum.
If you mod me down the terrorists will have won
How exactly is this going to help our future robot armies?
Seriously, gum? It's only a matter of time before humans won't need to die on battlefields; Let's work harder on making this a reality and focus less on long term foot-soldier tech. The soldiers of the future won't need teeth cleaning gum because they'll be safe at home, remote controlling robotic drones -- toothpaste only yards away.
In Finland, almost all gums are based on xylitol, and are said to be beneficial to your teeth. I haven't seen it in the states, when I've visited. Quote from wiki: "Early studies from Finland in the 1970s found that a group chewing sucrose gum had 2.92 decayed, missing, or filled (dmf) teeth compared to 1.04 in the group chewing xylitol gums". Not only that, but they taste a LOT better than the normal gums.
Maybe the 'ext generation aught have teeth, guv'nor.
There is also the fact that frequently chewing gives you crooked teeth. I wonder if they started developing a battlefield alternative for braces.
It is the universe that makes fun of us all.
When they help deal with some of the hygiene issues, it IS news for nerds; stuff that matters!!!
US army develops tooth-cleaning gum
By Simon Pitman, 21-Dec-2005
-=- 2005-=- Maybe it's been stuck in the queue this whole time?
-- CyberTech
Is that some kind of organic molecule? What's its formula?
Adeptus Orthodontus comics based on Space Marines from Warhammer 40k, courtesy of a /tg/ drawfag:
http://img219.imageshack.us/img219/6194/adeptusorthodontusvscsm.jpg
http://img183.imageshack.us/img183/4944/nottoothfairy.jpg
If that sort of gum becomes a reality, be sure to spit it out before you get to the dessert, unless you fancy inflating like a giant blueberry.
This space unintentionally left blank.
What about just buying some Fuzzy Brushes http://www.fuzzybrush.com/
Perhaps we now can get the Yankee flavour to Jenkki? That spearmint starts to taste like wood...
I'd be happy with bloody sea bird flavour too.
Sounds a lot like Biotene gum, which uses a combination of the enzymes Lysozyme, Glucose Oxidase, and Lactoperoxidase to destroy bacteria. Lysozyme directly attacks the peptidoglycans in bacterial cell walls, while Glucose Oxidase generates Hydrogen Peroxide from Glucose (in the gum). Lactoperoxidase then uses the peroxide to destroy bacteria as well.
I chew this stuff pretty often, it's better than regular gum for getting rid of bad breath. Only problem is that if you chew too much, it can give you a stomachache.
But does it floss?? That is the question!
Did anyone else read that as Tooth Cleaning Gun? I thought, "Do they really need a new variety of gun to pull off that trick?"
No, I doubt the researchers forgot to read that short informative piece about a Finnish gum that contains Xylitol http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Xylitol however, the US Army is not claiming to be the first to use an artificial sweetner in their gum, nor are they claiming to be the first to use Xylitol specifically. Now, if you read the article on Xylitol http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Xylitol and there is a link again, you will see that it is COMPLETELY different from a protein that attacks the bacteria that causes plaque... KSL http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/KSL they are calling it. Note, on the link I just provided, KSL is notes as a synthesized peptide. So... the US Army's development with KSL, is very different and unrelated to Xylitol. I guess reading the article *WOULD* have been helpful in avoiding Idiot status.
"I love deadlines. I love the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." -D. Adams
i think there's some sort of joke about trident missiles i'm supposed to be making right now.
first the internet and now tooth cleaning gum. is there nothing you can't do?
lose != loose
No? They get back in the living room and chew your gum. Don't make me come in there!
"Duke is probably the biggest fanboy geek that ever was or ever will be."
I thought Dentyne gum did that many years ago?
Like the beaver, it's just Dam one thing after another
This story is half a decade old.
Come on Slashdot, get with the program.
I've tried it on, like, twenty Oompa-Loompas and each one ended up as a blueberry
When I first read this headline, I thought it said "Tooth Cleaning Gun". Does the Army have a concern about the dental hygiene of our enemies? Maybe the radicals plan to sneak into our country and give us all gingivitis.