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Stars Remain In Their Usual Places; People Panic

Posted by timothy on from the why-is-the-alphabet-in-that-order? dept.

asheller writes "The Star Tribune tells us the zodiac signs have shifted. Earth's wobble has shifted the signs, a new one's been added and many of us have changed signs. Formerly a Cancer, I've apparently been upgraded to Gemini and am now married to an Ophiuchus, a new sign. What's yor sign? The new Zodiac Chart is pretty interesting." Here are some priceless reactions to this celestial development. As long as the Chinese Zodiac is unaffected, I'll still be able to accurately judge people based on when they were born, so please indicate in comments your (new) sign and birth year animal, so we'll be able to know where you're coming from.

17 of 468 comments (clear)

  1. I ain't no Virgo by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Give me Libra, or give me death!

    1. Re:I ain't no Virgo by bazmail · · Score: 4, Funny

      A-men to that. Screw this Virgo crap.

    2. Re:I ain't no Virgo by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

      Hey I got cancer!

    3. Re:I ain't no Virgo by EdIII · · Score: 5, Funny

      Virgo maybe not, virgin most definitely yes.

      Says the AC on Slashdot :P

      Why don't you try "popping your cherry" and get a Slashdot ID. I'll even give you a cigarette for afterwards.

    4. Re:I ain't no Virgo by MobileTatsu-NJG · · Score: 4, Funny

      Yeah because nothing sceams 'stud' like registerring an account on Slashdot.

      --

      "I like to lick butts!" by MobileTatsu-NJG (#32700246) (Score:5, Informative)

    5. Re:I ain't no Virgo by hack++slash · · Score: 3, Funny

      I got Ophiuchus!

      What do I win?

      --
      To do something right, you often have to roll up your sleeves and get busy.
    6. Re:I ain't no Virgo by sourcerror · · Score: 3, Funny

      Give me cancer or give me death ... oh wait!

  2. Re:This a re-org for the foreign offices only by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    for the last time it is:

    I strongly suspect you're wrong :p

  3. a new personality! by ArgumentBoy · · Score: 5, Funny

    Cool. I get a new personality. Just what my wife wanted for Christmas.

  4. They gave me cancer by El_Muerte_TDS · · Score: 4, Funny

    Prepare to be sued.

  5. Re:This a re-org for the foreign offices only by Abstrackt · · Score: 5, Funny

    Muphry's Law strikes again.

    --
    They say a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but it's not one half so bad as a lot of ignorance. - Terry Pratchett
  6. Re:This a re-org for the foreign offices only by McTickles · · Score: 4, Funny

    Of course not, being a righteous prick is what i live for :D

    --
    http://www.twilightcampaign.net/

  7. I know EXACTLY what sign *I* was born under! by JimMarch(equalccw) · · Score: 5, Funny

    It said "Maternity Ward"...

  8. Cancer to... by Brewskibrew · · Score: 4, Funny

    I was a Cancer before and now I'm an AIDS. WTF?

    --
    For sale: Signature. One owner. Low miles. Always garaged. New punctuation, just installed!
  9. astrologers don't care about this, well, didn't by spottedkangaroo · · Score: 4, Funny

    I happen to have paid for astrological readings many times. I don't really think astrology has anything to do with reality or astronomy, not even for a second; but I do enjoy it. It's rather like how I enjoy The Matrix even though it doesn't make any sense at all.

    I happened to ask my astrologer about this many years ago (it's not like they just switched a couple days ago) and the astrologer was actually aware that the astrological symbols had changed, but assured me the Zodiac signs did not. It's been totally decoupled for decades and astrologers seem to be aware of it.

    It's not like if you learned to precisely measure something (I don't know what it would be); you'd suddenly change all the symbols on your Tarot deck either. Heh. They're all complicated systems of nonsense. They don't really require further adjustments.

    I'm sure there'll be TONS of new astrology books coming out because this is suddenly big news for some reason. It may even cause a schism, but it doesn't really matter which system you pick. A really good astrologer reads the man, not the stars.

    --
    Imagine if you weren't allowed to use roads because a bus company complained about your driving 3 times. --skunkpussy
  10. Re:The real fraud here is by Austerity+Empowers · · Score: 3, Funny

    We also dump on creationism and Intelligent Design, and can't be bothered to read on them either. Take your righteous indignation and get in line behind the animists and the homeopaths.

  11. Changed sign by miketee · · Score: 3, Funny

    So, I'm a Libran now? I suppose that's OK, on the balance.