LHC, CERN Has Found the Hugs Boson

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LHC, CERN Has Found the Hugs Boson

Posted by Soulskill on Friday April 1, 2011 @07:19AM from the you-lose-again-fermilab dept.

An anonymous reader writes "In a ground-breaking announcement issued today, CERN NASA PETA NAMBLA , the European Organization of Nuclear Research (which hosts the enormous and magnificent glorious orgasmic catastrophic Large Hadron Collider) has announced the discovery of the hugs boson, an unexpected gauge boson which was not predicted prognosticated invented baked by the Standard Model. Unexpectedly, the discovery was made by a high-school mascot student teacher gymnasium during his scholarship. Due to his Tourette's age face breath , it is not clear whether he can be awarded the Nobel Prize. However, his teacher has generously agreed to be awarded in his name, in case of any problems reprisals assassins aliens ."

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Awwwwww by suso · 2011-04-01 07:20 · Score: 3, Funny

I don't know about you, but I love this new particle. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
1. Re:Awwwwww by BJ_Covert_Action · 2011-04-01 07:25 · Score: 3, Funny
  
  It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
  That's because it is small enough to penetrate your skin, and it is currently opening a microscopic blackhole in your liver.
  
  --
  Motorcycles, Robots, Space Gossip and More!
2. Re:Awwwwww by Culture20 · 2011-04-01 07:58 · Score: 2
  
  It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
  What you have there is [[Blackbody Radiation][Acid Reflux][Cowboy Neil]].
3. Re:Awwwwww by Kosi · 2011-04-01 08:37 · Score: 2
  
  Finally, a place to deposit all the ethanol, amphetamine, heroin or whatever is your drug of choice! Go, Hugs boson!
4. Re:Awwwwww by WhitetailKitten · 2011-04-01 09:17 · Score: 2
  
  Friendship is magic.
5. Re:Awwwwww by Sulphur · 2011-04-01 11:43 · Score: 2
  
  I don't know about you, but I love this new particle. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
  Classic symptoms of Hugs Boson poisoning.
There's really no point... by Frosty+Piss · 2011-04-01 07:24 · Score: 3, Informative

...in reading Slashdot today.

--
If you want news from today, you have to come back tomorrow.
1. Re:There's really no point... by Anonymous Coward · 2011-04-01 07:26 · Score: 2, Insightful
  
  Wrong again Mr. Piss. As usual your attempt to quash the fun of people who actually have a sense of humor fails. Perhaps you could become an archaeologist and search for your petrified funny bone?
2. Re:There's really no point... by M8e · 2011-04-01 07:27 · Score: 2
  
  What?
  This is the only day of the year that /. have new news!
3. Re:There's really no point... by Anonymous Coward · 2011-04-01 07:35 · Score: 2, Insightful
  
  It would be one thing if these supposed "jokes" were funny. Unfortunately, they are not. One has to question your sense of humor that you find even the stupidest of "jokes" to be funny. Let me guess, you roll over laughing at a guy getting kicked in the nuts, right?
4. Re:There's really no point... by easyTree · 2011-04-01 08:04 · Score: 2
  
  Re:There's really no point......in reading Slashdot today.
  It's only one day. Digg-readers have to put up with this shit for the rest of the year.
  
  --
  Requiem for the American Dream
5. Re:There's really no point... by Opie812 · 2011-04-01 08:19 · Score: 2
  
  no kidding. April Fools day is the worst day for slashdot. One or two articles might be funny, but for a whole day? How am I to pass the time at work?
  
  --
  I'm not a nerd. Nerds are smart.
6. Re:There's really no point... by sznupi · 2011-04-01 08:53 · Score: 2
  
  Maybe the reason some of us are not laughing anymore is because we have a sense of humor.
  
  --
  One that hath name thou can not otter
They found the Huge Bosom, eh? by countertrolling · 2011-04-01 07:26 · Score: 2

How much does it weigh?

--
For justice, we must go to Don Corleone
Plagiarism. by leaen · 2011-04-01 07:27 · Score: 2, Funny

He just copied result of 12-year old which predicted boson when he corrected Einsten`s theory of relativity
RSS feed by q-the-impaler · 2011-04-01 07:28 · Score: 4, Informative

These summaries are much more informative when read via RSS

An anonymous reader writes "In a ground-breaking announcement issued today, CERN NASA PETA NAMBLA , the European Organization of Nuclear Research (which hosts the enormous and magnificent glorious orgasmic catastrophic Large Hadron Collider) has announced the discovery of the hugs boson, an unexpected gauge boson which was not predicted prognosticated invented baked by the Standard Model. Unexpectedly, the discovery was made by a high-school mascot student teacher gymnasium during his scholarship. Due to his Tourette's age face breath , it is not clear whether he can be awarded the Nobel Prize. However, his teacher has generously agreed to be awarded in his name, in case of any problems reprisals assassins aliens ."

--
Sierra Tango Foxtrot Uniform
They missed out by pangu · 2011-04-01 07:34 · Score: 4, Funny

Hugs Bosom.
1. Re:They missed out by fightinfilipino · 2011-04-01 10:03 · Score: 2
  
  Hugs Bosom.
  nah, scientists are unlikely to find THAT particle...
Re:They found the Huge Bison, eh? by Chris+Burke · 2011-04-01 07:36 · Score: 5, Funny

What about a Dyson Bison, a spherical-shell-shaped bison with a star in the center?

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The enemies of Democracy are
Re:They found the Huge Bison, eh? by Hazel+Bergeron · 2011-04-01 07:38 · Score: 2

I haven't giggled at /. in ages, but "Dyson Bison" did it for me. I love you.
Also, QOTD:

We secure our friends not by accepting favors but by doing them. -- Thucydides
I guess doing them is one way.
NO hugging by Roduku · 2011-04-01 07:47 · Score: 5, Funny

If anything coming out of the LHC tries to hug me, I still have my crowbar.