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LHC, CERN Has Found the Hugs Boson

Posted by Soulskill on from the you-lose-again-fermilab dept.

An anonymous reader writes "In a ground-breaking announcement issued today, CERN NASA PETA NAMBLA , the European Organization of Nuclear Research (which hosts the enormous and magnificent glorious orgasmic catastrophic Large Hadron Collider) has announced the discovery of the hugs boson, an unexpected gauge boson which was not predicted prognosticated invented baked by the Standard Model. Unexpectedly, the discovery was made by a high-school mascot student teacher gymnasium during his scholarship. Due to his Tourette's age face breath , it is not clear whether he can be awarded the Nobel Prize. However, his teacher has generously agreed to be awarded in his name, in case of any problems reprisals assassins aliens ."

7 of 86 comments (clear)

  1. Awwwwww by suso · · Score: 3, Funny

    I don't know about you, but I love this new particle. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

    1. Re:Awwwwww by BJ_Covert_Action · · Score: 3, Funny

      It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

      That's because it is small enough to penetrate your skin, and it is currently opening a microscopic blackhole in your liver.

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  2. There's really no point... by Frosty+Piss · · Score: 3, Informative

    ...in reading Slashdot today.

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  3. RSS feed by q-the-impaler · · Score: 4, Informative

    These summaries are much more informative when read via RSS

    An anonymous reader writes "In a ground-breaking announcement issued today, CERN NASA PETA NAMBLA , the European Organization of Nuclear Research (which hosts the enormous and magnificent glorious orgasmic catastrophic Large Hadron Collider) has announced the discovery of the hugs boson, an unexpected gauge boson which was not predicted prognosticated invented baked by the Standard Model. Unexpectedly, the discovery was made by a high-school mascot student teacher gymnasium during his scholarship. Due to his Tourette's age face breath , it is not clear whether he can be awarded the Nobel Prize. However, his teacher has generously agreed to be awarded in his name, in case of any problems reprisals assassins aliens ."

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  4. They missed out by pangu · · Score: 4, Funny

    Hugs Bosom.

  5. Re:They found the Huge Bison, eh? by Chris+Burke · · Score: 5, Funny

    What about a Dyson Bison, a spherical-shell-shaped bison with a star in the center?

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  6. NO hugging by Roduku · · Score: 5, Funny

    If anything coming out of the LHC tries to hug me, I still have my crowbar.