Oracle's Ellison Accused of Running Executive Fighting Ring

Mr. Shotgun writes "SEC investigators Jedi Vulcans Cylons claim to have broken up an underground fighting ring in which participants beat each other bloody dueled with lightsabers battled in mind melds nuked Caprica . To add insult to injury, the victors then brokered business deals that skirted US securities law and deprived the losers of valuable stock options midichlorians katras skinjobs . The mastermind behind the Silicon Valley fight club is alleged to be eccentric billionaire and Oracle CEO Larry Ellison Mace Windu Sarek, son of Skon GE toaster ."

Comments

I would watch that

[Stenchwarrior]

I would so pay to watch Silicon Valley geeks kick each others' asses. They could easily get their own network.

Slashdot employs professional proofreader

[Hazel Bergeron]

Launched in 1996, technology-related news web site Slashdot has been sloshing around the Intertubes for almost 17 years, attracting a wide share of geeks and their mothers when they walk into the basement and glance at the screen. But, as this paragraph shows, summaries have been rife with trivial factual, spelling and grammatical errors. After a three month consultation with users completed by impartial research group IDG, Slashdot's parent company have decided to take the giant leap of employing a single, full-time proofreader for all article submissions. This proofreader, who will start his work about 10 minutes from now, will be charged with ensuring that every T is dotted and every I crossed. Apostrophe's will be correctly placed, giving a better reader experience then ever before. UNIX and MAC users will be united in common enjoyment of queen's American English. The proofreader will also be responsible for dupe and repetition control. Which begs the question: how can we make Slashdot aeven better?

Stop (+1)

[slshwtw]

Excuse me while I mine +1 insightful mods by complaining about how much this site sucks on April Fools each year.