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The Science of Lightsabers

Posted by samzenpus on from the this-had-better-have-nothing-to-do-with-midichlorians dept.

sethmad writes "As everyone who's ever passed the GRE knows, there are two major hypothetical operational problems with Star Wars lightsabers. More accurately I should say there were two problems, because I solved both of them."

14 of 232 comments (clear)

  1. What are your patent numbers? by perpenso · · Score: 3, Funny

    More accurately I should say there were two problems, because I solved both of them.

    What are your patent numbers? :-)

    1. Re:What are your patent numbers? by Hognoxious · · Score: 3, Funny

      And how many parsecs until they expire?

      --
      Confucius say, "Find worm in apple - bad. Find half a worm - worse."
    2. Re:What are your patent numbers? by jmd_akbar · · Score: 3, Funny

      And how many parsecs until they expire?

      And here I thought Parsec was a unit of distance...

      --
      Nothing here... So... SHOOO!!!
  2. The British.... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Informative

    We would call them Torches you idiot!

  3. That still has the magnet problem... by Zakabog · · Score: 3, Insightful

    If you're using a magnetic field to control the plasma then any magnet can still interfere with the light saber. For some reason I was expecting a much more technical article than 'its got a metal rod in the center, tada!'

    1. Re:That still has the magnet problem... by larry+bagina · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Yeah, this was stupid and pointless, even by idle standards. Maybe /. needs to add a retarded section.

      --
      Do you even lift?

      These aren't the 'roids you're looking for.

    2. Re:That still has the magnet problem... by Kell+Bengal · · Score: 4, Interesting

      When I was younger (and nerdier) I once proposed a similar but more sensible version using in-universe technology that was well understood by Starwars fans: force fields. Obviously, starships have shields that keep asteroids, debris, weapons and projectiles from damaging them. Similarly, speeders and various devices apply forces at a distance to hover and float. Why can't this technology be used to harness a plasma field as a cutting device?

      It stood to reason that the interaction of these repelling, focussing fields would result in the spark and fizzle of lightsabres clashing, as tiny amounts of plasma escaped. Likewise, the interactions would prevent the blades from passing through each other and also account for occasional 'sabre lock' where two blades are periodically joined and must be separated.

      As I said, I was younger and nerdier back then.

      --
      Scientists point out problems, engineers fix them
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    3. Re:That still has the magnet problem... by DavidTC · · Score: 5, Interesting

      The biggest problem with lightsabers isn't even the science of them.

      It's that they're insane weapons.

      Look, if you have something that can cut through anything, you shoot it at people. Imagine a dual-lightsaber that's 3 inches long, operates for five seconds, and is shot, spinning, at people. Hell, forget shot, you could put a release timer on them and throw them at people, having them spring into action a quarter second after release.

      Perhaps there could be spinning death frisbees. Can you curve a light blade around the edge? ;)

      Or perhaps you could just fire the 'blade' itself, leave the generator behind. But I think that's disallowed under the 'rules' of lightsabers, which says the light blade goes out and then comes back, which also has the benefit of saying that lightsabers don't use power unless they're actually cutting something, otherwise, they're 100% efficient. (Except that they're always cutting the air, hence the hum, so always use a tiny amount of power.)

      All I really know is waving it around near your body is a good way to lose parts of your body.

      But, even stupider, there appears to be no reason you can't slide your blade down the other guy's blade and cut off his fingers. Unlike traditional swords, there's no guard, nor can there be one.

      Likewise, as they're weightless, there's no reason to not have very long ones. Lightpikes, you just aim them at the enemy, push a button, and the blade extends twenty feet out, straight through their torso. You jerk it upward, slicing them in half. Then cut off the blade and go to the next guy, or just wave it back in forth in an arch if they're all coming at once. (Hell, you wouldn't even need to be a Jedi to safely use one of those!)

      Granted, you couldn't block blaster fire with one, but there's no reason you couldn't have short and long setting, or at least a duel-weapon with a short and long side.

      --
      If corporations are people, aren't stockholders guilty of slavery?
    4. Re:That still has the magnet problem... by sakdoctor · · Score: 4, Funny

      http://apple.slashdot.org/

  4. Why did this get posted? by ceoyoyo · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Come on. Half the comments on this story are probably going to be better than this dork's.

    A light saber that used plasma would likely be hot. Hot enough that holding it would get very uncomfortable, magnetic field or no. And if the magnetic field is confining it, how does it get through the porous metal? Without destroying the metal? Where does the plasma come from if it's constantly leaking out? Why do lightsabers require focusing gems? How does a light saber deflect blaster and laser hits that would otherwise melt metal? How can lightsabers be an ancient weapon and the guy who designed them is still living on some planet somewhere?

  5. Um... What's a... by camperdave · · Score: 3, Funny

    What's a GRE and why would passing one allow you to know hypothetical problems with Star Wars tech. I passed a truck full of pigs on the 401 and the only thing I learned is "stay upwind of the pig trucks"

    --
    When our name is on the back of your car, we're behind you all the way!
  6. Old idea, doesn't work. by SanityInAnarchy · · Score: 5, Interesting

    I don't remember where I've heard this before, but I've definitely heard it. But there are some very large problems you haven't solved.

    First, this is still going to require a large amount of energy. Where does that come from? And if you've got something superheated into a plasma, how do you keep the metal from melting?

    Second, as others have pointed out, you haven't actually solved the magnetic-field problem. Basically, any Jedi could have his lightsaber entirely disabled, or even turned back on him, by inducing a magnetic field on the room he's in.

    Third, it doesn't explain the part where lightsabers are incredibly difficult to wield, due to weird gyroscopic effects, such that only someone with force-sensitive reflexes should be able to wield them properly. Ok, Han Solo can cut open a tauntaun, but that's a pretty crude motion -- try to swing it around, and if you're not careful, you could end up cutting yourself as easily as your opponent.

    Fourth (!), what are blaster bolts, and how does a lightsaber deflect them? It makes very little sense to suppose that a blaster bolt is just some plasma wrapped around a tube in the same way -- that seems awfully complicated compared to alternatives like just firing the plasma as a projectile -- and then, why would they bounce off force fields the way they do, as if they were somehow slowly-moving laser light?

    Finally, how do you explain the phenomena in Episode 1... Alright, maybe you want to pretend that didn't exist, but this phenomena is fairly commonly observed and generally accepted as something that it'd be reasonable for a lightsaber to do. Anyway, what about the point where Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan are trying to break into a room by slowly melting the blast door with their lightsabers? I suppose the metal rod could be collapsing, but then I'd expect that when you pull it out, it'll have to slowly extend again -- and it also suggests that lightsabers would collapse entirely too easily. If they're made of light, this makes much more sense, but then we have all the same problems as light.

    So, cool idea, but let's just accept that Star Wars is science fantasy. It's enjoyable science fantasy, and there's no shame in wanting to be a jedi, but you'll never have a lightsaber. (Also, there's no Santa. Sorry.)

    --
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  7. fencing by snookerhog · · Score: 3, Interesting

    I once had a discussion about light sabers with a Olympic fencing gold medalist. His job was sword fighting and his main gripe with light sabers (which was not addressed in this article) was that since the blade is made of light, it has no weight and thus the speed of your strikes is not limited by the blade in any way, only by how fast you can manipulate the handle. In his opinion (and mine) this would make saber duels quite short indeed.

    1. Re:fencing by nedlohs · · Score: 3, Interesting

      Yes, except that said duels are between people who can see the damn future. So yes you can slide them in half with a flick of the wrist, but they knew that flick was coming 5 minutes ago.