Orange Goo Invades Alaskan Village

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Orange Goo Invades Alaskan Village

Posted by samzenpus on Wednesday August 10, 2011 @03:24AM from the invasion-begun dept.

s31523 writes "When the residents of the Alaskan village of Kivalina woke up last week, the unexpected sight of an orange goo covering the surface of the water was quite alarming. Suspecting a oil spill or some other man-made disaster, the residents worried about the toxicity of the substance. After NOAA investigated, it was found the that goo is an unknown type of microscopic eggs. According to NOAA scientist Keep Rice, 'We now think these are some sort of small crustacean egg or embryo, with a lipid oil droplet in the middle causing the orange color.' More work is needed to identify what the eggs are and what caused them to show up."

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Have to know by somersault · 2011-08-10 03:27 · Score: 5, Funny

Have any of them tried running across the water at super speed?

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which is totally what she said
1. Re:Have to know by ZaMoose · 2011-08-10 03:29 · Score: 3, Insightful
  
  Came for the Portal 2 reference. Didn't leave disappointed.
  
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  I wish I had a kryptonite cross, because then you could keep Dracula and Superman away.
2. Re:Have to know by lennier · 2011-08-10 09:21 · Score: 3, Funny
  
  Good news, everyone who came for the Atomic Caviar Banquet: we've successfully determined that yes, irradiating wild Alaskan salmon with pi-neutrino flux does improve both the flavour and supermarket shelf life. And the side effects are very minimal. Hardly any at all. Just a quick point of order, if you've actually eaten any of the Atomic Caviar, we have a superb team of xenobiologists in the surgical annex who'd like to have a chat. We'll have those flesh-eating parasites scrubbed from your blood and you'll be up and breathing again in no time. The iron ribcage is free of charge.
  
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  You are not a brain: http://books.google.com/books?id=2oV61CeDx-YC
"According to NOAA scientist Keep Rice" by malakai · 2011-08-10 03:27 · Score: 4, Funny

His brother Store Grain says it was all a hoax.

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-Malakai
A Dragon Lives in my Garage
ocean surface full of living things, story at 10 by rubycodez · 2011-08-10 03:31 · Score: 5, Funny

"I don't drink water; fish fuck in it" -- W.C. Fields
And that was how it began, kid... by elrous0 · 2011-08-10 03:36 · Score: 4, Funny

Back in them days, Jimmy, we was called the "EuEsAy" and you could walk the streets right out in the open without a rifle. Not an alien in sight, if you can believe that. Then them damn eggs came.

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SJW: Someone who has run out of real oppression, and has to fake it.
1. Re:And that was how it began, kid... by Froboz23 · 2011-08-10 04:22 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  I suspect a Zerg rush. Better start building your bunkers now.
  
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  Take off every Sig. For great justice.
Reports say it's crustacean eggs. by ultramk · 2011-08-10 03:40 · Score: 5, Insightful

According to a ton of different reports on Google news, the substance was tested and found to be crustacean eggs of some type.
So crustaceans: crabs, lobsters, crayfish, shrimp, krill and barnacles. Considering the location and volume, I'm suspecting something like a huge krill spawn that was swept onto the shore by unusual currents, a storm system or the like. As for it being toxic, that's pretty laughable. Toxic crustaceans are very few and far between (one that hasn't been eating toxic algae, and considering these are eggs, they haven't been eating anything).
As far the natives not seeing anything like this before... well it's a big planet. Completely natural, explainable things happen all over the globe every day that haven't happened in that particular spot for hundreds if not thousands of years.

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You catch enchiladas by picking them up behind the head and holding them underwater until they don't kick anymore -VeGas
1. Re:Reports say it's crustacean eggs. by ultramk · 2011-08-10 04:48 · Score: 5, Insightful
  
  Golly, you make so many assumptions there I don't know where to start. I have no masters in marine biology, I've just lived by the ocean my whole life. I'm not thousands of miles away, either. One of the reasons that I wasn't overly surprised by this is that every 10-12 years something similar to this happens around here.
  Last year it was millions of brown jellyfish all over the shore and in the water, in concentrations that none of the old-timers could ever remember having seen. It was bizarre, and shocking.
  Once, back in the mid '80s, there was an unbelievable swarm of pelagic crabs--little red swimming guys about the size of a small crawfish. Nobody in the area had ever seen one before, but now they were covering the beaches up to the high tide mark--some live, some dead--for miles and miles up and down the coast. From a distance it was a thick band of crimson between the water and the rocks or dunes. They were thick in the water too. They've never come back.
  Dont get me started on algae blooms.
  These things happen. And yes, panicking about it is an overreaction.
  
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  You catch enchiladas by picking them up behind the head and holding them underwater until they don't kick anymore -VeGas
In other news, by aero6dof · 2011-08-10 03:42 · Score: 3, Funny

Japanese travel agents offer new scoop-it-yourself Alaskan sushi tours...
Life in 2011 by Anonymous Coward · 2011-08-10 03:47 · Score: 3, Funny

Hysterical Alaskan Villager: Look at that orange goo! What is it?! Chemicals?! Oil Spill?! Industrial Waste?! We're all DOOOOOOMMMMED!!!!

NOAA Scientist: No need for alarm! It's only billions of eggs of a rare species of crustaceans that, when they hatch, will burrow into your skulls and parasitize your brains. But no worries, they're all natural and have been around for millions of years. It's just part of that wonderful cornucopia of wild life that we evil humans have been destroying with our unsustainable and unnatural way of life.

Hysterical Alaskan Villager: *Whew* Thank goodness it isn't some nasty byproduct of our immoral industrial civilization. I feel so relieved!

NOAA Scientist: Carry on as usual, good earth-friend. Well, for the next few days anyway. What's the quickest way out of town? I have an appointment elsewhere...
Re:That's just what they want you to think. by Chris+Burke · 2011-08-10 04:28 · Score: 3, Funny

Well, you know, I've always been worried about a "grey goo" apocalypse, but now that it's happening and it's a bright cheerful orange color instead, I guess I'm okay with it!

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Re:Ocean Temperatures by drolli · 2011-08-10 04:28 · Score: 4, Insightful

As much as i understand that there is climate change, this type of speculation before analysis is exactly what the world does not need.
Re:Lipid Oil = Food? by Kozz · 2011-08-10 04:37 · Score: 3, Funny

Soylent Orange is Crustaceans!

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I only post comments when someone on the internet is wrong.
Re:Ocean Temperatures by SETIGuy · 2011-08-10 05:00 · Score: 3, Informative

In recent years (10-15) the warming is far below any noise level.
In any 10 to 15 year period the warming is below the noise level, because we're talking about a global average of about 0.15C per decade, and changes in heat transfer from ocean to atmosphere from year to year cause variations that are larger than that. But, even with the annual variations over the last decade, the warming trend is still apparent. http://www.skepticalscience.com/global-cooling-january-2007-to-january-2008.htm
But even though the global trend is 0.15C per decade that doesn't mean that changes in specific places haven't been much larger.

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