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Orange Goo Invades Alaskan Village

s31523 writes "When the residents of the Alaskan village of Kivalina woke up last week, the unexpected sight of an orange goo covering the surface of the water was quite alarming. Suspecting a oil spill or some other man-made disaster, the residents worried about the toxicity of the substance. After NOAA investigated, it was found the that goo is an unknown type of microscopic eggs. According to NOAA scientist Keep Rice, 'We now think these are some sort of small crustacean egg or embryo, with a lipid oil droplet in the middle causing the orange color.' More work is needed to identify what the eggs are and what caused them to show up."

24 of 153 comments (clear)

  1. Have to know by somersault · · Score: 5, Funny

    Have any of them tried running across the water at super speed?

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    which is totally what she said
    1. Re:Have to know by ZaMoose · · Score: 3, Insightful

      Came for the Portal 2 reference. Didn't leave disappointed.

      --
      I wish I had a kryptonite cross, because then you could keep Dracula and Superman away.
    2. Re:Have to know by lennier · · Score: 3, Funny

      Good news, everyone who came for the Atomic Caviar Banquet: we've successfully determined that yes, irradiating wild Alaskan salmon with pi-neutrino flux does improve both the flavour and supermarket shelf life. And the side effects are very minimal. Hardly any at all. Just a quick point of order, if you've actually eaten any of the Atomic Caviar, we have a superb team of xenobiologists in the surgical annex who'd like to have a chat. We'll have those flesh-eating parasites scrubbed from your blood and you'll be up and breathing again in no time. The iron ribcage is free of charge.

      --
      You are not a brain: http://books.google.com/books?id=2oV61CeDx-YC
  2. "According to NOAA scientist Keep Rice" by malakai · · Score: 4, Funny

    His brother Store Grain says it was all a hoax.

  3. ocean surface full of living things, story at 10 by rubycodez · · Score: 5, Funny

    "I don't drink water; fish fuck in it" -- W.C. Fields

  4. And that was how it began, kid... by elrous0 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Back in them days, Jimmy, we was called the "EuEsAy" and you could walk the streets right out in the open without a rifle. Not an alien in sight, if you can believe that. Then them damn eggs came.

    --
    SJW: Someone who has run out of real oppression, and has to fake it.
    1. Re:And that was how it began, kid... by Froboz23 · · Score: 4, Funny

      I suspect a Zerg rush. Better start building your bunkers now.

      --
      Take off every Sig. For great justice.
  5. Orange? by TarMil · · Score: 2

    Has 2Dboy introduced a new type of Goo balls in an update I haven't heard of?

  6. Reports say it's crustacean eggs. by ultramk · · Score: 5, Insightful

    According to a ton of different reports on Google news, the substance was tested and found to be crustacean eggs of some type.

    So crustaceans: crabs, lobsters, crayfish, shrimp, krill and barnacles. Considering the location and volume, I'm suspecting something like a huge krill spawn that was swept onto the shore by unusual currents, a storm system or the like. As for it being toxic, that's pretty laughable. Toxic crustaceans are very few and far between (one that hasn't been eating toxic algae, and considering these are eggs, they haven't been eating anything).

    As far the natives not seeing anything like this before... well it's a big planet. Completely natural, explainable things happen all over the globe every day that haven't happened in that particular spot for hundreds if not thousands of years.

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    You catch enchiladas by picking them up behind the head and holding them underwater until they don't kick anymore -VeGas
    1. Re:Reports say it's crustacean eggs. by badnews_bear · · Score: 2

      Palin's master plan of world domination has begun! She's releasing the rest of her brood. Soon all reality shows will be filled with nothing but Palins! Either that or Snookie finally took a bath.

    2. Re:Reports say it's crustacean eggs. by ultramk · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Golly, you make so many assumptions there I don't know where to start. I have no masters in marine biology, I've just lived by the ocean my whole life. I'm not thousands of miles away, either. One of the reasons that I wasn't overly surprised by this is that every 10-12 years something similar to this happens around here.

      Last year it was millions of brown jellyfish all over the shore and in the water, in concentrations that none of the old-timers could ever remember having seen. It was bizarre, and shocking.

      Once, back in the mid '80s, there was an unbelievable swarm of pelagic crabs--little red swimming guys about the size of a small crawfish. Nobody in the area had ever seen one before, but now they were covering the beaches up to the high tide mark--some live, some dead--for miles and miles up and down the coast. From a distance it was a thick band of crimson between the water and the rocks or dunes. They were thick in the water too. They've never come back.

      Dont get me started on algae blooms.

      These things happen. And yes, panicking about it is an overreaction.

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      You catch enchiladas by picking them up behind the head and holding them underwater until they don't kick anymore -VeGas
  7. In other news, by aero6dof · · Score: 3, Funny

    Japanese travel agents offer new scoop-it-yourself Alaskan sushi tours...

  8. Life in 2011 by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    Hysterical Alaskan Villager: Look at that orange goo! What is it?! Chemicals?! Oil Spill?! Industrial Waste?! We're all DOOOOOOMMMMED!!!!

    NOAA Scientist: No need for alarm! It's only billions of eggs of a rare species of crustaceans that, when they hatch, will burrow into your skulls and parasitize your brains. But no worries, they're all natural and have been around for millions of years. It's just part of that wonderful cornucopia of wild life that we evil humans have been destroying with our unsustainable and unnatural way of life.

    Hysterical Alaskan Villager: *Whew* Thank goodness it isn't some nasty byproduct of our immoral industrial civilization. I feel so relieved!

    NOAA Scientist: Carry on as usual, good earth-friend. Well, for the next few days anyway. What's the quickest way out of town? I have an appointment elsewhere...

  9. Hmmm by frozentier · · Score: 2

    Since this is Slashdot, I have to assume the orange goo comes from either a Microsoft security flaw, or a privacy issue with facebook.

  10. What causes eggs to show up... by magarity · · Score: 2

    More work is needed to identify ... what caused them to show up."
     
    Well, the first step is when Mommy and Daddy crustacean come to love each other very much...

  11. Lipid Oil = Energy? by s31523 · · Score: 2

    I wonder if the lipid oil in the eggs could be used as a renewable energy source, or petrol replacement for the numerous products made from conventional oil.

  12. Re:That's just what they want you to think. by Chris+Burke · · Score: 3, Funny

    Well, you know, I've always been worried about a "grey goo" apocalypse, but now that it's happening and it's a bright cheerful orange color instead, I guess I'm okay with it!

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    The enemies of Democracy are
  13. Re:Ocean Temperatures by drolli · · Score: 4, Insightful

    As much as i understand that there is climate change, this type of speculation before analysis is exactly what the world does not need.

  14. Re:Jeep Rice by nitehawk214 · · Score: 2

    Weird. I did some checking and apparently his real name is Jeep Rice. Really!

    Keep Rice was a typo, and that typo is now being propagated all over the Inter-Tubes by trusting bloggers and news aggregators who don't check their facts. (And speaking of Inter-Tubes, he works at the Ted Stevens Marine Research Institute.)

    Just add a couple of spoilers on it and you will have your Jeep Rice.

    --
    I'm a good cook. I'm a fantastic eater. - Steven Brust
  15. Re:Lipid Oil = Food? by Kozz · · Score: 3, Funny

    Soylent Orange is Crustaceans!

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    I only post comments when someone on the internet is wrong.
  16. Re:Ocean Temperatures by FatdogHaiku · · Score: 2

    True That! It is not our place to question the will of the Great Crustacean!
    Bow your heads and ask for mercy...
    or at least a tanker full of lemon butter.

    --
    You have the right to remain sentient. If you give up the right to remain sentient, you will be elected to public office
  17. Re:Ocean Temperatures by SETIGuy · · Score: 3, Informative

    In recent years (10-15) the warming is far below any noise level.

    In any 10 to 15 year period the warming is below the noise level, because we're talking about a global average of about 0.15C per decade, and changes in heat transfer from ocean to atmosphere from year to year cause variations that are larger than that. But, even with the annual variations over the last decade, the warming trend is still apparent. http://www.skepticalscience.com/global-cooling-january-2007-to-january-2008.htm

    But even though the global trend is 0.15C per decade that doesn't mean that changes in specific places haven't been much larger.

  18. Re:Ocean Temperatures by SnarfQuest · · Score: 2

    These are obviously eggs laid by the Flying Spaghetti Monster, in an effort to save the world from Global Warming. They will hatch into Pirates.

    --
    Who would win this election: Andrew Weiner vs Andrew Weiner's weiner.
  19. Re:Ocean Temperatures by Terrasque · · Score: 2

    this type of speculation before analysis is exactly what the world does not need.

    That's an interesting speculation. You should run an analysis on it, I think.

    --
    It's The Golden Rule: "He who has the gold makes the rules."