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Orange Goo Invades Alaskan Village
s31523 writes "When the residents of the Alaskan village of Kivalina woke up last week, the unexpected sight of an orange goo covering the surface of the water was quite alarming. Suspecting a oil spill or some other man-made disaster, the residents worried about the toxicity of the substance. After NOAA investigated, it was found the that goo is an unknown type of microscopic eggs. According to NOAA scientist Keep Rice, 'We now think these are some sort of small crustacean egg or embryo, with a lipid oil droplet in the middle causing the orange color.' More work is needed to identify what the eggs are and what caused them to show up."
Have any of them tried running across the water at super speed?
which is totally what she said
All of the stories I've read say that the world ends from Grey Goo. So Alaska is safe!
His brother Store Grain says it was all a hoax.
-Malakai
A Dragon Lives in my Garage
"I don't drink water; fish fuck in it" -- W.C. Fields
Back in them days, Jimmy, we was called the "EuEsAy" and you could walk the streets right out in the open without a rifle. Not an alien in sight, if you can believe that. Then them damn eggs came.
SJW: Someone who has run out of real oppression, and has to fake it.
Has 2Dboy introduced a new type of Goo balls in an update I haven't heard of?
According to a ton of different reports on Google news, the substance was tested and found to be crustacean eggs of some type.
So crustaceans: crabs, lobsters, crayfish, shrimp, krill and barnacles. Considering the location and volume, I'm suspecting something like a huge krill spawn that was swept onto the shore by unusual currents, a storm system or the like. As for it being toxic, that's pretty laughable. Toxic crustaceans are very few and far between (one that hasn't been eating toxic algae, and considering these are eggs, they haven't been eating anything).
As far the natives not seeing anything like this before... well it's a big planet. Completely natural, explainable things happen all over the globe every day that haven't happened in that particular spot for hundreds if not thousands of years.
You catch enchiladas by picking them up behind the head and holding them underwater until they don't kick anymore -VeGas
orange you glad I didn't say banana?
sysadmins and parents of newborns get the same amount of sleep.
It's plain as sin! Jellyfish Eggs of course!
Geekism is your _only_ God!
' More work is needed to identify what the eggs are and what caused them to show up." What kind of statement is this? Obviously the culprit is the global warming. What else?
Japanese travel agents offer new scoop-it-yourself Alaskan sushi tours...
I hope they show mercy :)
Warning Kraken spawn.
Time to offend someone
Hysterical Alaskan Villager: Look at that orange goo! What is it?! Chemicals?! Oil Spill?! Industrial Waste?! We're all DOOOOOOMMMMED!!!!
NOAA Scientist: No need for alarm! It's only billions of eggs of a rare species of crustaceans that, when they hatch, will burrow into your skulls and parasitize your brains. But no worries, they're all natural and have been around for millions of years. It's just part of that wonderful cornucopia of wild life that we evil humans have been destroying with our unsustainable and unnatural way of life.
Hysterical Alaskan Villager: *Whew* Thank goodness it isn't some nasty byproduct of our immoral industrial civilization. I feel so relieved!
NOAA Scientist: Carry on as usual, good earth-friend. Well, for the next few days anyway. What's the quickest way out of town? I have an appointment elsewhere...
Sorry, but is this the sequel to Tim Burton's Cadavre Exquis?
Just sayin.
Please do not read this sig. Thank you.
Since this is Slashdot, I have to assume the orange goo comes from either a Microsoft security flaw, or a privacy issue with facebook.
If I had mod points...
MY 40mm automatic repeating rifle with explosive rounds is mighty effective against the krill.. as long as I'm not overrun as this dang thing is mighty heavy to move.
I can explode a coyote from well over 1500 yards with this beautiful gun.
Do not look at laser with remaining good eye.
Weird. I did some checking and apparently his real name is Jeep Rice. Really!
Keep Rice was a typo, and that typo is now being propagated all over the Inter-Tubes by trusting bloggers and news aggregators who don't check their facts. (And speaking of Inter-Tubes, he works at the Ted Stevens Marine Research Institute.)
More work is needed to identify ... what caused them to show up."
Well, the first step is when Mommy and Daddy crustacean come to love each other very much...
I wonder if the lipid oil in the eggs could be used as a renewable energy source, or petrol replacement for the numerous products made from conventional oil.
Then you might want to go see a doctor.
If so, it's probably caused by a nearby Boneshaker. Look out for zombies.
https://app.box.com/WitthoftResume Code: https://github.com/cellocgw
"More work is needed to identify what the eggs are and what caused them to show up." SOP for identification: 1. Purchase jar of Paul Newman pasta sauce. 2. Eat pasta sauce on pasta of choice. 3. Wash out jar. 4. Go down to beach and put some eggs and seawater into jar. 5. Take jar back to the lab and keep it aerated and at sea temperature until eggs hatch. 6. GIS whatever the hell swims out.
If Slashdot were chemistry it would look like this:Cadaverine
Well, you know, I've always been worried about a "grey goo" apocalypse, but now that it's happening and it's a bright cheerful orange color instead, I guess I'm okay with it!
The enemies of Democracy are
As much as i understand that there is climate change, this type of speculation before analysis is exactly what the world does not need.
Soylent Orange is Crustaceans!
I only post comments when someone on the internet is wrong.
True That! It is not our place to question the will of the Great Crustacean!
Bow your heads and ask for mercy...
or at least a tanker full of lemon butter.
You have the right to remain sentient. If you give up the right to remain sentient, you will be elected to public office
Caviar prices took a dramatic plunge on the futures markets today...
Sometimes the light at the end of the tunnel is the headlight of an oncoming train.
Remember that show Surface?
"Sic Semper Tyrannosaurus Rex."
It may be five years early, but we can now expect humanity to transform into nothing but orange goo and form a hivemind, while a large purple organic robot flies into space.
ROFL
This and no other is the root from which a tyrant springs; when first he appears as a protector - Plato (423 to 327 BC)
In recent years (10-15) the warming is far below any noise level.
In any 10 to 15 year period the warming is below the noise level, because we're talking about a global average of about 0.15C per decade, and changes in heat transfer from ocean to atmosphere from year to year cause variations that are larger than that. But, even with the annual variations over the last decade, the warming trend is still apparent. http://www.skepticalscience.com/global-cooling-january-2007-to-january-2008.htm
But even though the global trend is 0.15C per decade that doesn't mean that changes in specific places haven't been much larger.
Support SETI@home
Must be mating season on Decapod 10
I'd avoid picking up any 'Alaskan Caviar' from Whole Foods for a while. Same goes for the orange sherbet soon to be available at Long John Silvers.
Some fish had a really really good orgasm.
Haha. "Toxic spill."
The yolk's on them!
These are obviously eggs laid by the Flying Spaghetti Monster, in an effort to save the world from Global Warming. They will hatch into Pirates.
Who would win this election: Andrew Weiner vs Andrew Weiner's weiner.
Who is Senator Palin? We have Senator Murkowski and Senator Begich as well as Congressman Young, but I've never heard of Senator Palin.
Oh, you meant (former) GOVERNOR Palin...
MCSE? No, sir...I don't do Windows. Yes, I am an idealist. What's your point?
...what does it taste like? Surely someone has tried it.
and was also seen floating on top of buckets used to collect rainwater, following a downpour.
How do crustacean eggs get from the ocean to buckets for collecting rainwater?
Ask Charles Fort.
Or that whiz-kid in "Magnolia".
the preceding comment is my own and in no way reflects the opinion of the Joint Chiefs of Staff
SQ, you made my day. Thank you!
A successful API design takes a mixture of software design and pedagogy.
damn lowlife guidos
go back to "Jersey Shore".
the preceding comment is my own and in no way reflects the opinion of the Joint Chiefs of Staff
"I don't drink water; fish fuck in it" -- W.C. Fields
This guy should just admit it, and come out of the water closet.
Escher was the first MC and Giger invented the HR department.
But do these eggs taste good?
he did admit he sometimes imbibed the dihydrogen monoxide: "Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. ". But he wasn't always a boozer, "A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her."
The biggest solar flare, and now this? We MUST stop global warming! Teh flares and teh mutant goo will only get worse!
help me i've cloned myself and can't remember which one I am
Supply Depots in front of bunkers. Upgraded range Marines x 4 later drop in a ghost or two for ultra range.
Backup with a few turrets and seige tanks for the win.
I only look human.
My mother is a halfling and my dad is an ogre, so that makes me an Ogreling
NATO used to pitch blue forces against orange invaders in all of their simulations. Orange of course being code for Red.
Hopefully, once these things hatch some teenagers will make it to the mountains and then save as all
this type of speculation before analysis is exactly what the world does not need.
That's an interesting speculation. You should run an analysis on it, I think.
It's The Golden Rule: "He who has the gold makes the rules."
Fish don't "fuck". They just swim by the eggs and ejaculate.
Although that just makes WC's remark sound even more gruesome.
A Pirate and a Puritan look the same on a balance sheet.
False, some fish do fuck. The male organ on some fish is a gonopodium, which becomes erect and is inserted into the female's cloaca. Such fish bear live young. One such fish you may have heard of is the Guppy.
had to look it up, couldn't remember the word, but another organ that certain other fish (including sharks) have is called a valva or clasper, which is inserted into the vagina of the female. So sharks fuck too.
This would suggest the existence of a sequel to Jaws based on the application of Rule 34.
Reminds me of an episode of Unsolved mysteries where green goop blanketed a whole town one night. People got sick from it. Tests revealed there was human blood cells in the goop.
Can't find any pictures, but here's a collection of news articles about it: http://www.rumormillnews.com/cgi-bin/archive.cgi?read=187500
Free unix account: freeshell.org
I've seen it, search for shark humps a whale.
"You're right," Fisheye says. "I should have set it on 'whip' or 'chop.'"
At the end of the movie, the blob was sent down into the arctic waters to freeze, maybe it found a way to come back, what ever you do, dont touch it!!!
Water that's passed through that many Kidneys must be extremely pure
When a reasonable scientific speculation can be labelled as "troll", I think it speaks more to the decline in public scientific discourse than it does about my comment.
This and no other is the root from which a tyrant springs; when first he appears as a protector - Plato (423 to 327 BC)