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Can Analytics Help Fix Your Love Life?
d2ncal wrote in to tell us about a new service that takes all the guess work out of a relationship by providing you with timely feedback, and charts to see how your affection is trending. TheIcebreak was created by Christina Brodbeck and Dwipal Desai, who gave up their jobs at YouTube to create the relationship quantifying service. The pair have gone to great lengths to become relationship experts by doing things such as: reading books on relationships, and enlisting the help of a couples therapist, to ensure that the data collected is useful to your long term love life. The service is free now, and Android and iPhone apps are coming soon."
I entered all my info and now all it ever responds with is "Outlook not so good" every time I ask it for advice on improving my love life.
SJW: Someone who has run out of real oppression, and has to fake it.
I'm a computer geek to the core. Nothing can fix my love life.
It is a really simple algorithm they used, since you visited their site your relationship is trending down. Even more so if you get the app.
Time to offend someone
And perhaps you should know that it may not be the best idea all the time.
Never trust a spiritual leader who cannot dance -- Mr. Miyagi
If your relationship really needs analysis by a disinterested or arm's-length third party to survive and flourish, then perhaps at least one of you is rather narcissistic or has Aspberger's or some other social maladjustment. Fair enough in those cases (although such persons might not necessarily either seek or follow good advice), but not very compelling for the rest of us.
Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities. - Voltaire
If you have to use an analytics app to gauge how your relationship is doing and get suggestions, then you are probably already beyond help.
The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for it to be pitted against a slightly greater evil
A site asks you and your SO questions and predicts your happiness over time? I don't think this is going do any good for your love life. Just love and support your SO and make your own happiness.
Democracy Now! - your daily, uncensored, corporate-free
doing things such as: reading books on relationships
Whilst some things can be learned from books (law being a reasonable example), and many things can be improved through learning from books, I'm not wholly convinced that one can become an expert on relationships by reading books about relationships - it strikes me as a field in which expertise would require actual, real world experience?
Text your name and your crush's name to 555-uztupid! Brought to you by the people that think you're stupid enough to buy a ringtone you heard on TV for $5.
It for sure can fix the problem that singles are better consumers.
According to the tag.
There is no right to feel safe thru security vaudeville at the expense of everyone's freedom, privacy and tax money.
1. Go out and fucking approach all the women you can. Every woman you see that you have an interest in...approach her and talk to her. It goes help to learn how to talk to women, but that will come, go out and start every day, even if it is only saying 'hello' or asking the time. When you engage them in conversation...listen to them, and one easy way to talk to them, is get them to talk the most!!
No woman ever was out with a guy and complained that she talked about herself too much.
2. Project confidence in yourself. Doing step #1 will start you off in that direction. You had the 'guts' that most of the other guys in the general area didn't have. Woman dig a man that projects confidence in themselves, and how they make their way through life. Until you are really confident...fake it, it works.
3. Try to at least watch your general hygiene, and appearance. You don't have to be Brad Pitt...but don't smell bad, or dress like a homeless person on the street. You don't have to be the best looking guy in the world....thankfully, women are much more forgiving of a male's appearance than we are of them in general. I call it the Billy Joel syndrome...when he was nailing Christie Brinkley who was one of the hottest women in the world at the time. Sure the money helped...but you see my point. How often do you see a good looking chick on the arm of a guy that isn't the best in the world? Yes, some of them might be rich, but the majority are not. They have decent appearances, a good sense of humor and other qualities like I mentioned above.
But seriously, the main thing is...to quit being shy. Do what it takes to get over that....I don't ever remember anyone spontaneously exploding for walking up to speak to a strange woman and trying to meet her. The WORST that can happen is...she's not interested...but so, what? The one right beside her might just be. There's tons of them out there.
If nothing else...play it as a 'numbers' game...hit on every one that interests you...and you will get laid, will get new friends, and after seeing a lot of them, you'll come across one that has traits you might like to settle down with.
It just isn't as hard as people try to make it out to be to themselves.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.........
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Do not overdo 1).
You will come across as desperate. Especially if your future target sees you hitting on someone else several times before. Small sub-community (workplace, school... ) is no-no for this approach.
On other accounts, you are right. Stop being shy and you will get laid. You will be suprised how much success you will have.
Hard part is not asking girl out on date and then getting her to bed. It is after you start dating.
-- Technology for the sake of technology is as pathetic as eschewing technology because it's technology.
It is my belief that any input that sparks communication between you and your SO will ultimately have a positive effect on your relationship. That is that if the two of you both passionately believe that you are in it for the longhaul then it will allow you two to discuss each others desires and frustrations. If there is uncertainty or a major disconnect communication of these things could end the relationship sooner so that each person can move on with their lives. For those couples where one or both are introverted this type of service could help give feedback without either of the persons feeling like they are exposing themselves. It achieves this because it does not give feedback in a person X did wrong.
There is or can be built a machine that can simulate any physical object. -Church-Turing principle
I agree...I was assuming one would act according to the situation...no, you don't go down the wall lined with women asking each one and moving to the next one in line.
I'm talking in general during life. You see tons of women out there while moving through your day each day...see one, approach. If that doesn't work..wait a little, and you'll see a new one that hasn't seen your previous interaction.
Desperation, NO..women definitely do not react to that. Projecting confidence will mean you're not projecting desperation. You need to engage them...and basically get them to try to present THEIR value to YOU. That takes a little practice...but it works. You need to be the one they WANT to be with....have them offer YOU their number after talking with them awhile. Things like that also help with women who quite often do retro-justification for their actions. "I must have thought he was cute since I offered my phone number to him"....etc.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.........
If it keeps you thinking about it instead of just taking your partner for granted, that might be plenty.
NOTHING can fix that train wreck.
With possibly a VERY few exceptions that might be out there...I don't think shyness, especially a guy being afraid to approach women is genetic. You might be born with genes to become an uber-athlete, or grow tall or be a musical progidy....
But I'd dare say unless you are mentally malformed....99% of guys out there CAN change this learned behavior. You just have to realize if a woman shows no interest to you, or even (very rarely) is outright mean and distainful to you...it isn't the end of the world and you won't die. If nothing else, learn from each rejection, and see if you can change your gameplan and adjust your approach for the next one.
Remember, unless you get married...there's always gonna be a 'next' one.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.........
1) Hold yourself to a high standard (hygiene, fashion, confidence [the real kind, not the knock-all-others-down-a-peg kind], health, well-roundedness [have lots of other things to do than obsess over girls and sex])
2) Pay attention to her every nuance, her reactions to what you say and do, her favorite ice-cream or wine, where she likes to be touched, anything. Everything she does is data to be stored in your internal database. Pay attention to detail like you do with code, it's an underrated talent that programmers have but don't apply to anything else IRL.
3) Do not internalize, you will only shoot yourself down
4) Make her miss you, be available, but not too available, YMMV depending on her interest
5) Know when to call it quits and move on, some girls will appreciate your company while others will give an inch while they take your mile.
6) Don't be negative and don't rant about shit she obviously isn't interested in. Some girls DO think nerds are cute, even hot ones, but don't want to hear a long-winded passage about the Prime Directive (whatever that is, I'm a Star Wars fan :p)
7) Layman's terms, layman's terms, layman's terms, I can't stress this enough. You can't connect with a girl if you can't relate to her. Even with layman's terms, most of our professions are still to complicated to understand. They are just fine with hearing that you really love your job and consider it like an art form and how your work helps people (depending on the profession, that is).
8) Clean your house, make it spotless and keep it that way. Your living quarters are a reflection of who you are as a person, and girls pick up on this.
9) Money is (almost) no object, IF the girl appreciates it. Don't look cheap, but don't look desperate either. Pay for her dinner, get her good seats to the hockey game, etc. Be wary of gold diggers (see #5)
10) Get help from someone more experienced than you who is willing to help you (someone who isn't a PUA who only cares about getting into panties anyway, they fail at just about everything else regarding women). Search the internet, but be wary of the sources. Advice from men has priority over advice from women by a huge margin. Ignore tips from movies, TV, romance novels, your mom at all possible costs!
*Coming from 15+ years experience of being an abject failure at romance, and finally getting some well deserved poetic justice :)
Who are these people to be giving love advice? According to the summary, their supposed expertise consists of "reading books on relationships" (How many, and which ones?) and "enlisting the help of a couples therapist" (What, like one? What are the qualifications of this supposed couples therapist?).
In case any of you guys haven't figured it out yet, 90% of people trying to give you advice on any subject are completely full of shit, including the authors of books and therapists. In anything related to love and relationships, there's even more bullshit. My advice is: Find people in your real life that have the kind of relationships you want, and get advice from them. Ignore anyone who claims to be an expert until they have proven themselves to you, either through their advice matching your real-life experience, or you personally witnessing them having the kind of relationships you want with the kind of people that you want.
I don't reply to ACs
How not to do it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1cGoDns8wTA
I think Ric Ocasek and Paulina Porizkova is a much better example (far bigger gap between them).