Company to Send DBA into Space

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Company to Send DBA into Space

Posted by samzenpus on Wednesday October 12, 2011 @07:20AM from the where-no-admin-has-gone-before dept.

cramco writes "Moments ago, a U.K. software company announced at the Professional Association for SQL Server (PASS) conference in Seattle that it would send a lucky contestant to space. The sponsors, Red Gate, is holding a five-week DBA contest with the winner getting a trip to space. Why? And why put them through five weeks of quizzes and technical challenges presented within B-movie-looking videos involving rubber Martians, small dogs, alien body parts and one of their own acting very strangely? Well, as any developer knows, DBA stands for Don't Bother Asking."

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Haters gonna hate... by Anonymous Coward · 2011-10-12 07:29 · Score: 1

Wouldn't be surprised if a secret group of developers is paying for this. Getting rid of referential integrity one DBA at a time.
1. Re:Haters gonna hate... by mjwx · 2011-10-12 15:54 · Score: 1
  
  Wouldn't be surprised if a secret group of developers is paying for this. Getting rid of referential integrity one DBA at a time.
  As a network engineer, I wouldn't mind getting rid of a few snowflake developers this way. Capsules will be cheap as surviving re-entry is not a requirement.
  
  Snowflake Developer: This laptop you gave me 3 months ago is crap.
  Network Engineer: That's because I gave you admin privs 3 months ago and you stuffed it up.
  Snowflake Developer: I demand a new laptop.
  Network Engineer: I'll re-image the old one. I took an image of it before I gave it to you, should take about an hour.
  Snowflake Developer: I WANT A NEW LAPTOP NOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWW. /stamping of feet.
  Network Engineer: OK, come with me to the Aperture Science Emergency Hardware Generation Capsule. /laughs maniacally.
  
  However being truly old school, I demand a big screen in the launch centre and a giant red launch button with a plastic cover that flips open at T minus 10.
  
  --
  Calling someone a "hater" only means you can not rationally rebut their argument.
Fun by yekim · 2011-10-12 07:31 · Score: 1

Sounds like fun. I'm guessing that's why. Despite popular opinion, even DBA's like fun stuff.
1. Re:Fun by geekoid · 2011-10-12 08:52 · Score: 2
  
  No, I'm sure they will grumble how it would be better if they listened to him, as well as bitch about the pilots the whole time. .. and of course never offer a reasonable solution to any of these 'problems' .
  
  --
  The Kruger Dunning explains most post on /. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect
It's a Good Start by DocDyson · 2011-10-12 07:32 · Score: 2

Maybe if took up a collection we could send all of them? Can we get a half-price deal if we don't want them returned?
1. Re:It's a Good Start by h4rr4r · 2011-10-12 07:34 · Score: 1
  
  Within 5 hours nothing would work. I had a an idiot, I mean developer, come to me today because he decided to view a table with a couple million rows in phppgadmin. Take a guess how that worked out for him.
2. Re:It's a Good Start by fotoflojoe · 2011-10-12 07:51 · Score: 1
  
  Why did he have direct access to the table in the first place? That's what views are for.
3. Re:It's a Good Start by elrous0 · 2011-10-12 07:59 · Score: 1
  
  That's funny, I had *two* idiots, I mean a developer and DBA, come into my office today wondering why our application even needed a GUI, much less one that was appealing or user friendly.
  
  --
  SJW: Someone who has run out of real oppression, and has to fake it.
4. Re:It's a Good Start by spiffmastercow · 2011-10-12 08:05 · Score: 1
  
  So yeah, I once had this idiot, I mean DBA, insist on using an external, non-unique identifier as a primary key because it only gets recycled every few years, and he would have all the records archived off by then. Guess how that went a couple years later?
5. Re:It's a Good Start by h4rr4r · 2011-10-12 08:06 · Score: 1
  
  Our application does have a nice friendly and appealing interface. The DB is a big boys toy. Not something for the users to play with. If you don't want to learn how to use it, you get what you deserve.
6. Re:It's a Good Start by LifesABeach · 2011-10-12 08:16 · Score: 1
  
  The problem with this contest is that there will only be One "winner". Maybe they could "Crowd Source" it?
7. Re:It's a Good Start by geekoid · 2011-10-12 08:53 · Score: 1
  
  So a developer made a mistake, in his OWN table and needed help? and you call them an idiot, and then bitch.
  Typical.
  
  --
  The Kruger Dunning explains most post on /. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect
8. Re:It's a Good Start by h4rr4r · 2011-10-12 09:20 · Score: 1
  
  Not his own table. Just a copy of the prod db, used for dev work. He did not do this once, he did it 4 or 5 times, today. He also can't bother to remember how to deal with it. SQL is too hard for them I suppose.
9. Re:It's a Good Start by aix+tom · 2011-10-12 09:34 · Score: 1
  
  That's what I love about working for a small outfit.
  I'm the DBA *and* developer *and* do the GUI.
  All the fun and none of the political bickering. ;-P
10. Re:It's a Good Start by Nethemas+the+Great · 2011-10-12 09:47 · Score: 1
  
  Ordinarily I would be hesitant to come to the support of a DBA but in this case I think it's appropriate. This is a PHP developer being talked about which is almost exclusively synonymous with dumba**, sweatshop code monkey. A breed too incompetent and uncomprehending for anything but script kiddie copy/paste hackery.
  
  --
  Two of my imaginary friends reproduced once ... with negative results.
11. Re:It's a Good Start by h4rr4r · 2011-10-12 10:12 · Score: 1
  
  To be fair, I am not the DBA. I am just a sysadmin acting as DBA when the need arises and the issues are simple enough.
12. Re:It's a Good Start by Nethemas+the+Great · 2011-10-12 10:16 · Score: 1
  
  I feel a bit better for supporting you then... ;)
  
  --
  Two of my imaginary friends reproduced once ... with negative results.
13. Re:It's a Good Start by Synerg1y · 2011-10-12 10:38 · Score: 1
  
  Only works when the people you work with are cool or smart or attractive. Otherwise massive fail.
14. Re:It's a Good Start by alexborges · 2011-10-12 12:16 · Score: 1
  
  My first reaction was the same as you: get em all to the moon with no suits, we later send in the lawyers.... BUT, on second thought, somebody has to do the excruciatingly fuucking boring job they do. And I dont want to be that guy, even if they make more money than me.
  
  --
  NO SIG
15. Re:It's a Good Start by aiht · 2011-10-12 18:01 · Score: 1
  
  That's what I love about working for a small outfit.
  I'm the DBA *and* developer *and* do the GUI.
  All the fun and none of the political bickering. ;-P
  Me too! I have never understood this apparent developer / DBA war, because I'm both.
  Although I do still manage some of the political bickering.
16. Re:It's a Good Start by h4rr4r · 2011-10-14 04:27 · Score: 1
  
  That guy should not have been a DBA.
17. Re:It's a Good Start by spiffmastercow · 2011-10-15 05:09 · Score: 1
  
  That guy should not have been a DBA.
  No argument here.. My point is mainly that there are incompetent people in both camps. DBAs have a low opinion of devs because they've seen a few do stupid things.. Developers have low opinions of DBAs because they've seen a few do stupid things.. It's easy to only notice the failures of the other camp. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to get back to writing a bunch of code generation templates because the DBA told us that all our CRUD has to be done in stored procedures, and NHibernate doesn't really support that out of the box.
No DBA will trust an application with her life by ElmoGonzo · 2011-10-12 07:32 · Score: 2

And a spacecraft is nothing but a mess of software applications held together with wire and tinfoil.
I interviewed with Red Gate... by Xugumad · 2011-10-12 07:32 · Score: 1

I interviewed with Red Gate earlier this year (made a complete wreck of the interview, turns out travelling down on the day was a horrific idea).
I'm fairly certain I got to interview because I mentioned in my covering letter that I liked talking to the coffee machine.
They're just that sort of company.
1. Re:I interviewed with Red Gate... by madprof · 2011-10-12 07:38 · Score: 1
  
  Someone from my company went for an interview with Red Gate to get a free iPad. He got it, and felt very happy. He still works with us.
2. Re:I interviewed with Red Gate... by Xugumad · 2011-10-12 07:50 · Score: 1
  
  As much as I'd like to suggest it's a generally applicable idea, it's actually very specific to the company. Grab the recruitment guide:
  http://www.red-gate.com/our-company/careers/book-of-red-gate
  Jump to page 34 (as numbered). Then 64, then 95. Note it's actually a running theme. So, essentially, it's a kinda quirky way of showing I've spent a lot of time looking at the company. Even then, it was a VERY high risk gamble, and one I was only willing to take because I had a job I was trying to move up from, rather than just frantically searching for a job.
  Still, doing a lot of background research on a company and trying to reflect that in your covering letter and resume (CV if you're in the UK) is good advice.
3. Re:I interviewed with Red Gate... by Anonymous+Brave+Guy · 2011-10-12 12:28 · Score: 1
  
  I think Internet meaning-fuzzing is occurring. Are you suggesting that Red Gate are completely insane and no-one sane would want to work with them, or that they are endearingly quirky and it's probably a fun place to work? (Or something else entirely?)
  
  --
  If you disagree, post your argument. (-1, Overrated) isn't your personal censorship tool for views you don't like.
4. Re:I interviewed with Red Gate... by Xugumad · 2011-10-12 22:02 · Score: 1
  
  That they're endearingly quirky was the idea I was trying to give :)
5. Re:I interviewed with Red Gate... by Anonymous+Brave+Guy · 2011-10-13 00:08 · Score: 1
  
  In that case, if the ones I know are anything to go by, I agree entirely. :-)
  
  --
  If you disagree, post your argument. (-1, Overrated) isn't your personal censorship tool for views you don't like.
6. Re:I interviewed with Red Gate... by madprof · 2011-10-13 08:00 · Score: 1
  
  No one disputes it is a good place to work! Some of us would love to work in a place like that!
Are they also going to bring him back? by QuietLagoon · 2011-10-12 07:33 · Score: 1

If not, I guess that is one thing you can do with an ornery DBA.
Re:Don't Bother Asking? by Moheeheeko · 2011-10-12 07:33 · Score: 1

Where im from its Double Barrel Ale, damn now im thirsty.
I think there are fitness, health and other tests by Joe_Dragon · 2011-10-12 07:43 · Score: 1

you must pass to get to space any ways.
Winner have to pay a LOT of Taxes on this by Joe_Dragon · 2011-10-12 07:45 · Score: 1

so for some it may be a very high cost free trip.
1. Re:Winner have to pay a LOT of Taxes on this by Christian+Smith · 2011-10-12 21:07 · Score: 1
  
  Unless it's a work trip.
Send them all, and lawyers too by Gothmolly · 2011-10-12 07:46 · Score: 2

Send all the DBAs into space, so the rest of us can get work done.

--
I want to delete my account but Slashdot doesn't allow it.
In Soviet Russia by Roachie · 2011-10-12 07:46 · Score: 1

Send DBA to wide-open space.

--
This sig is not paradoxical or ironic.
Can I Submit A Candidate? by Bigbutt · 2011-10-12 07:51 · Score: 2

You don't even have to bring him back...
[John]

--
Shit better not happen!
1. Re:Can I Submit A Candidate? by Threni · 2011-10-12 09:07 · Score: 1
  
  Yeah, we should be sending clueless non-technical "development managers" into space. There are fucking loads of them, and you'd never miss a thing if they never came back.
2. Re:Can I Submit A Candidate? by Bigbutt · 2011-10-12 09:13 · Score: 1
  
  Oh well. If we can broaden the selection criteria I have a few more candidates including the development manager who asks if operations hires competent people and the project manager who says engineering is the logical career path of a technical person so the engineers are where the smart people are :rolleyes:
  [John]
  
  --
  Shit better not happen!
Publicity by madprof · 2011-10-12 07:52 · Score: 2

The company is doing this purely for the publicity. Which Slashdot has now kindly provided!
If this story deserves to be here (and you can argue it either way) then it proves that impressive, but expensive, stunts are definitely worth the investment for any company such as Red Gate.
1. Re:Publicity by geekoid · 2011-10-12 08:55 · Score: 1
  
  Yes its a stunt. YOU aren't revealing anything new, again. NO one is surprised or taken in by it. At the end of the day, a DBA is going into space, and that's cool.
  
  --
  The Kruger Dunning explains most post on /. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect
2. Re:Publicity by madprof · 2011-10-12 09:09 · Score: 1
  
  Those canny fuckers.
3. Re:Publicity by madprof · 2011-10-12 09:12 · Score: 1
  
  What do you mean "again"? You remember who I am? If so, you must have no life.
  I suppose a DBA going into space is cool. The point still stands that it is a very effective tactic. When will we see another company do a similar thing?
Lawyers next? by rwv · 2011-10-12 08:07 · Score: 1

After the DBA, is there any chance we can have a contest to send a few lawyers into space?
1st question wasn't hard by bryan1945 · 2011-10-12 08:07 · Score: 1

Hosts were annoying, though.

--
Vote monkeys into Congress. They are cheaper and more trustworthy.
Terms and Conditions by mayko · 2011-10-12 08:14 · Score: 1

The prize awarded to the confirmed Winner (“Prize”) shall be, at the Winner’s option:

(a) a non-transferable ticket for a sub-orbital space flight which is to take off from and land in a spaceport in the USA and will last for approximately 15 minutes during which the space flight will reach a minimum altitude of 100 kilometres above the earth’s surface (“Space Flight”), or

(b) a cash prize equivalent to the price of the Space Flight of US$102,000 (one hundred and two thousand US Dollars) (“Cash Prize”).

So tax on 102k is going to suck unless you just take the payout. Plus directly following those terms... is my favorite one.

"It is hereby acknowledged that it is not possible to guarantee the Space Flight, as described in these Terms and Conditions, will take place in the near future or at all... ...if the date for the Space Flight is not confirmed by 31 December 2016, then the Promoter reserves the right, upon written notice to the Winner, to substitute the Cash Prize for the Space Flight"

Just take the cash upfront.
B-Ark? by Megane · 2011-10-12 08:21 · Score: 3, Funny

So is this a chance to get DBAs onto the B-Ark?

--
#naabhaprzrag, #sverubfr-000, #agi-fcbafberq, negvpyr[pynff*=' negvpyr-ary-'] { qvfcynl: abar !vzcbegnag; }
1. Re:B-Ark? by El_Oscuro · 2011-10-12 10:24 · Score: 1
  
  And the developers led full, rich and happy lives until the world's IT infrastructure was suddenly wiped out by an accidental DDOS started by a runaway query.
  
  --
  "Be grateful for what you have. You may never know when you may lose it."
Re:So long and thanks by SlashV · 2011-10-12 08:27 · Score: 1

You DO realize that when you shoot the telephone sanitizers out to space, you will be wiped out by a particularly virulent disease contracted from an unexpectedly dirty telephone?
All of them by drwho · 2011-10-12 09:09 · Score: 1

Can we send all of the DBAs to space?
Send, Not Retrieve by ardeez · 2011-10-12 09:10 · Score: 1

I could narrow my eyes evilly and note that the article says they're only sending them into space,
nothing about bringing them back.
'What's that? Want to get back from space you say? Sorry, that's another team.'
There will be forms to fill ...
And a totally opaque process to follow
You might find your request summarily rejected for reasons unknown to you forever
And your oxygen given to someone else for no reason
In dba space, all you can do is scream :'>
Seriously though, dba's can be great once they realise you're not just there to waste their
time and select gigabytes of data with an exclusive lock and then going to lunch.

--
don't be a spelling loser
Re:Who can afford to win? by ottothecow · 2011-10-12 09:24 · Score: 1

a company who has thought this through could always included a cash prize equal to approximately [value of prize]*[tax rate]*[1+tax rate]...
This would solve any tax burden problems (which occur not even for large prizes...look at all the oprah guests who got nailed with a tax bill after winning cars)

--
Bottles.
Typical by Kittenman · 2011-10-12 09:30 · Score: 1

The "unless you're in SQL, you're not a DBA" attitude. I was DBA here for yonks, then got an email from a new starter signed "Senior DBA". Gave me a start. He was the new SQL man, it turned out.

--
"The greatest lesson in life is to know that even fools are right sometimes" - Winston Churchill
Re:So long and thanks by deckitbruiseit · 2011-10-12 09:56 · Score: 1

EPIC WIN. that is all.
Ooh! Can We Experiment On Them? by Greyfox · 2011-10-12 11:01 · Score: 1

See if the DBA can refactor my database before time runs out and we shoot them into space! Muahaha!

--
I'm trying to teach myself to set people on fire with my mind... Is it hot in here?
Terrifying by Improv · 2011-10-12 11:51 · Score: 1

I wouldn't really want any DBA to have us all in their sights; they might try something crazy like "DELETE FROM earth;"

--
For every problem, there is at least one solution that is simple, neat, and wrong.
First Database Administrator into space by mikael · 2011-10-12 12:48 · Score: 1

I thought this was an article about sending the first Database administrator into space...

--
Vintage computer adverts: http://www.vintageadbrowser.com/computers-and-software-ads
You misread. by pavon · 2011-10-12 13:51 · Score: 1

Yes this is caused by a poorly written misbehaving application, but it's not his application. It is one of the other 30 applications that he has to share the database server with. So all 30 applications get shit for uptime while they dick around trying to figure out what is wrong with the one.
That said I think his solution is backwards; rather than giving his application a dedicated server, they should move the misbehaving application to a development server until the team that wrote it can get their shit together.
If we can send one DBA into space... by tm2b · 2011-10-12 16:49 · Score: 1

If we can send one DBA into space, why can't we send them all?

--
"It is our blasphemy which has made us great, and will sustain us, and which the gods secretly admire in us." - Zelazny
It's been done before by Required+Snark · 2011-10-12 17:41 · Score: 1

Muppets: Pigs in Space!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EnDS_Td0KIg

--
Why is Snark Required?
Sounds great! by Lisandro · 2011-10-13 02:42 · Score: 1

How long are we leaving them there?