Slashdot Mirror
Pakistan Bans 1600 Words and Phrases For Texting
Hugh Pickens writes "In a move reminiscent of George Carlin's Seven Words You Can Never Say on TV, the Pakistan Telecommunication Authority has handed down a ban on about 1,600 terms and phrases it has deemed obscene and told carriers they have seven days to block the words on their networks, or face legal action. 'The filtering is not good for the system and may degrade the quality of network services — plus it would be a great inconvenience to our subscribers if their SMS was not delivered due to the wrong choice of words,' says an official at a one of the telecoms. The list includes such words and phrases as 'idiot,' 'monkey crotch,' 'athlete's foot,' 'damn,' 'deeper,' 'four twenty,' 'fornicate,' 'looser,' and 'go to hell,' among others. There are also various double entendres included in the ban such as 'beat your meat' or 'flogging the dolphin.' Mohammad Younis, a spokesman for the PTA, says the ban is 'the result of numerous meetings and consultations with stakeholders' after consumers complained of receiving offensive text messages. 'Nobody would like this happening to their young boy or girl.'"
After all we know how ppl using txt spel pfectly an don abbrev any wrds.
We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
After all: It's for the children! Right?
Brought to you by Carl's Junior.
That's how the French say 80.
a t h l e t e ' s f o o t
In my original attempt to post I wrote "It's for the children!." in all caps in order to communicate the absurdity to those on Slashdot who don't always think things through and might actually take me seriously. I received the following error: Filter error: Don't use so many caps. It's like YELLING.
Come on Slashdot, isn't that what we have moderation for?
Brought to you by Carl's Junior.
Just last month I sent a text to my boss that read...
"Hey, monkey crotch! How's your atheletes foot? Any looser? Damn! Quit beating your meat and call idiot!"
And to my wife...
"Tired of flogging the dolphin? Let's fornicate!"
And she replied
"Go to hell!"
These posts express my own personal views, not those of my employer
Because its Pakistan I can't tell if they meant loser or if they were serious, it makes it even more difficult since they also seem to deem athlete's foot offensive.
Reminds me of some very bad porn a work colleague at a former employer I won't name showed me. Hint: Feet don't belong there, you're doing it wrong!
These posts express my own personal views, not those of my employer
is a bunch of middle aged bureaucratic dudes sitting around a table saying "What do you think about "Monkey dick".. should we ban that?"
The US needs to get a set of BALLS and Liberate Pakistan.
This has gone to far, we need to bring freedom back to the world. Only way to do this is for the US to get a set of BALLS and Liberate countries like Pakistan and Canada.
It puts the ***** on its skin
I see Monkeycrotch.com has already been registered. I look forward to them getting their web site set up.
I'm trying to teach myself to set people on fire with my mind... Is it hot in here?
Pakistani users will have 1600 new euphemisms by the end of the week.
How are we going to replace "flogging the dolphin" though?
Abusing the porpoise?
Whipping Flipper?
Chasing the white whale?
Shaking hands with Shamu?
Strangling the Baird's Beaked Whale?
Grinding the narwhal?
OK, I've done my part. But we still need to come up with another 1594 new euphemisms for masturbation by Friday.
g o t o h e l l
You had to say it, didn't you? You had to say that one little four-letter word. You couldn't just say "call hell" or "eval hell" or "do hell while true" or even "gosub hell". No, you had to put yourself right there beyond the bounds of civilised discourse and say The Word.
Consider yourself harmful indeed, sir!
You are not a brain: http://books.google.com/books?id=2oV61CeDx-YC
discipline flipper
But perhaps the better euphemisms are the ones that would have normal meanings--
Shifting into third
Grabbing Some Lamb
Avoiding Traffic
Out Shopping
Hailing a Cab
In a Meeting
Discuss it over lunch
Spinach
If your mind just made up a whole bunch of messed up meanings for those euphemisms, then you might need serious help.
Though enough words as euphemisms, and nobody will be able to reliably text..
Let a thousand flowers bloom!
That's just sick, you bastard.
Occupying Wall Street
Even whitelisting doesn't work.
http://habitatchronicles.com/2007/03/the-untold-history-of-toontowns-speedchat-or-blockchattm-from-disney-finally-arrives/
"We spent several weeks building a UI that used pop-downs to construct sentences, and only had completely harmless words – the standard parts of grammar and safe nouns like cars, animals, and objects in the world."
"We thought it was the perfect solution, until we set our first 14-year old boy down in front of it. Within minutes he’d created the following sentence:
I want to stick my long-necked Giraffe up your fluffy white bunny.
After reading the list, there are some good and bad parts:
Good: #575 - Juggalo. ICP fans should be banned, everywhere.
Bad: #657 - Master Blaster. Now how will Pakistanis know who rules Bartertown?
We don't have a state-run media we have a media-run state.
g o t o h e l l
You had to say it, didn't you? You had to say that one little four-letter word. You couldn't just say "call hell" or "eval hell" or "do hell while true" or even "gosub hell".
The implication is that there is no return. Gosub hell indeed.
When our name is on the back of your car, we're behind you all the way!
http://www.sex-lexis.com/Sex-Dictionary/masturbation-male
My favorite: Warming up the alter boys dinner.
Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the (supposed) good of its victims may be the most oppressive
As a grammar Nazi, I request that somebody kill me now, please!
Strangely, they banned both root words and modifiers of root words... like calling out ass AND ass clown, ass banger, etc. It's like they don't know how filtering, or words, work.
Kind of a shame they didn't use regex-based word subsbreastutions, though perhaps they didn't feel enbreastled to make any bumumptions.
Crumb's Corollary: Never bring a knife to a bun fight.