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Airport Security: Thermal Lie-Detectors, Cloned Sniffer Dogs

Posted by Soulskill on from the with-liberty-and-strip-searches-for-all dept.

PolygamousRanchKid writes with this quote from CNN about the future of airport security: "Earlier this year, the International Air Transport Association demonstrated its vision for the 'checkpoint of the future' — a series of neon-lit tunnels, each equipped with an array of eye-scanners, x-ray machines, and metal and liquid detectors. ... 'Known Travelers,' (those who have completed background checks with government authorities) for instance, will cruise through the light blue security corridor with little more than an ID check, while those guided through the yellow 'Enhanced' corridor will be subjected to an array of iris scans and sensitive contraband detectors. ... Feeling guilty? Got something to hide? A team of UK-based researchers claim to have developed a thermal lie-detection camera that can automatically spot a burning conscience. ... Professor Byeong-chun Lee, who established his reputation in 2005 as the driving force behind the world's first ever dog clone, has bought a new breed of super-sniffers to South Korea's Incheon Airport. They may look like an ordinary pack of golden Labrador Retrievers, but these dogs are all genetically identical to 'Chase,' a dog whose legendary snout kept him top of Incheon's drug-detection rankings right up until his retirement in 2007."

10 of 101 comments (clear)

  1. Oh, god... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Please don't give the TSA any ideas!

    1. Re:Oh, god... by durrr · · Score: 5, Funny

      Looks too efficient for TSA, their dream is a luggage shredder instead of a x-ray scanner, and a wipeout style obstacle course(that you have to run naked, with live streams to the public internet filming it all) with blaring sirens and powertripping functionaries with bullwhips lining the course to drive the herds onwards.
      Contracted at a cost of $12 billions, annually.

    2. Re:Oh, god... by jhoegl · · Score: 4, Funny

      They didnt mention it, but that is exactly what the "red corridor" will consist of.

    3. Re:Oh, god... by ColdWetDog · · Score: 4, Funny

      Human cloning is banned. Expect the new batch of cloned TSA agents in approximately fifteen years.

      Well, the obvious solution to this is to hybridize a TSA agent with the super nosed Labrador Retriever clone. You get the perfect employee - works for treats and an occasional pat on the head, can sniff out anything from marijuana to C4, lives about 10 years so no long term Social Security / Medicare costs and is one hell of a lot cuter than the vast majority of current TSA agents.

      What's not to like?

      --
      Faster! Faster! Faster would be better!
  2. "...guided through the 'Enhanced' corridor..." by John+Hasler · · Score: 4, Interesting

    Herded, you mean. Why do you people continue to put up with this crap? And don't try to tell me it's only in the USA. Europe was doing intrusive "screening" long before the USA started: we used to be criticised by Europeans for having "lax security" because we allowed people to get on airplanes without first proving that they were not armed criminals.

    --
    Warning: this article may contain humor, sarcasm, parody, and perhaps even irony. Read at your own risk.
  3. Misleading Summary by mutherhacker · · Score: 5, Insightful

    The summary is completely misleading.

    According to TFA, thermal-lie detection, the dog clone, the bluetooth passenger tracking and the behavioral detection officers are in no way linked to IATA's vision of the checkpoint of the future. They are just independent developments in transport security but nonetheless irrelevant to IATA.

    For everybody's reference IATA is owned and funded by private airline companies. They are not government funded in any way IATA's website

  4. "Known traveller" lines? by gatkinso · · Score: 4, Insightful

    What a load of crap.

    Anyone with a security clearance should be ashamed to use such a line for a multitude of reasons. Keep it real, and stand in line with those you are charged with protecting.

    --
    I am very small, utmostly microscopic.
  5. Know what'll make airports REALLY safe for me? by fyngyrz · · Score: 4, Interesting

    I'm simply not going to them any more. Society has turned them into a manifestation of cowardice and the very worst possible kind of decision-making. I won't support the industry any longer, at least insofar as I have a choice (I'm referring here to the use of my taxes, something out of my control.)

    I feel bad for those of you who must fly, I really do. All the jokes we used to make about the nazi's and the soviets and "papers, please", have come home to roost.

    I wonder how much longer we'll be free to drive without being subjected to this kind of thing?

    --
    I've fallen off your lawn, and I can't get up.
  6. Trusted traveler ID check by Beryllium+Sphere(tm) · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Does anyone think the black market cost of a stolen, forged, or corruptly issued trusted traveler ID will be outside the budget of a terrorist group?

  7. Putting neon on the security theater. by The+Archon+V2.0 · · Score: 5, Insightful

    "International Air Transport Association demonstrated its vision for the 'checkpoint of the future' â" a series of neon-lit tunnels, each equipped with an array of eye-scanners, x-ray machines, and metal and liquid detectors."

    Bomb in the lineup before you get to the neon tunnel.

    "Feeling guilty? Got something to hide? A team of UK-based researchers claim to have developed a thermal lie-detection camera that can automatically spot a burning conscience."

    Guilty? Hell no, I'm going to be going to Heaven as a beloved martyr in about five minutes!