Do You Have the Right Stuff To Be an Astronaut?

Hugh Pickens writes "Do you have what it takes to become an astronaut? NASA, the world's leader in space and aeronautics, is now hiring outstanding scientists, engineers, and other talented professionals until January 27, 2012 for full time, permanent employment to carry forward the great discovery process that its mission demands. 'Creativity. Ambition. Teamwork. A sense of daring. And a probing mind.' To qualify, you'll need at least a bachelor's degree in science, engineering or mathematics. Certain degrees are immediate disqualifiers, including nursing, social sciences, aviation, exercise physiology, technology, and some psychology degrees, too. The job listing mandates '1,000 hours pilot-in-command time in jet aircraft' unless you have three years of 'related, progressively responsible, professional experience' like being an astronaut somewhere else maybe? 'Since astronauts will be expected to fly on Russia's Soyuz spacecraft, they must fit Russia's physical requirements for cosmonauts. That means no one under 5 foot 2 inches or over 6 foot 3 inches.' Applicants brought in for interviews will be measured to make sure they meet the job application's 'anthropometric requirements.' You'll need to pass a drug test, a comprehensive background check, a swimming test, and have 20/20 vision in each eye and it almost goes without saying that candidates will need to be in 'incredible shape.' Applicants must pass NASA's long-duration space flight physical, which evaluates individuals based on 'physical, physiological, psychological, and social' stressors, like one's ability to work in small, confined spaces for hours on end. And of course...'Frequent travel may be required.'"

Comments

Kerbal Space Program

[InterestingFella]

I'm not sure if I'm a good astronaut, but I'm hell of a good guy to design space shuttles. I've been playing Kerbal Space Program lately so I know this stuff. If someone is a good astronaut contact me!

Re:Kerbal Space Program

[2.7182]

You sir are spreading nonsensical and malicious rumors about our astronauts. The astronaut we are discussing did not have any duct tape, on her person or in the trunk of her car parked at the airport. I think you are confusing it with the surgical tubing and/or the folding knife.

Re:Kerbal Space Program

[datavirtue]

NASA has a management system that is proven defunct. I wouldn't want to risk it souring my resume. Not very attractive. When your management and bureaucracy is bad enough to kill people it kind of drains out the incentive. I want to spend my life with a smart company and team enthralled with the prospect of surviving on their raw success. Bureaucracies survive because of status quo and tax payer windfall. You can keep it. If you have ever worked in a bureaucracy AND a real business you know the difference. In a bureaucracy people go through the motions and typically loath their job, in a thriving business people are alive with the smell of opportunity constantly perking their eyes--save for a massive corporation. That is why startups are so attractive.

Hmm

[Anonymous Coward]

Just finished a box of Kraft Dinner and I'm sitting here reading Slashdot... go ahead and mark a 'no' down for me.

Re:Hmm

[2.7182]

Don't count yourself out just yet. If you can tolerate a kraft dinner you certainly could live on whatever astronauts are fed.

NASA, the world's leader in space and aeronautics.

[Anonymous Coward]

Really? How do your 'astronots' get into space again these days? Oh....yeah. Hope that stings.

NASA is the world leader in what?

[Rosco P. Coltrane]

NASA, the world's leader in space and aeronautics

Say what?

In case you haven't noticed, NASA is the FORMER leader in space and aeronautics. Space access is now a Russian and European affair, and the Chinese are getting in the game. But the US dropped the ball: NASA is just an administration dedicated to sink money down the drain these days...

Re:NASA is the world leader in what?

[AndrewNeo]

Maybe if they /had/ the money to sink down the drain we wouldn't be having this problem..

Re:NASA is the world leader in what?

[rubycodez]

I can confidently say no NASA money was wasted on hookers and blow, in space. yet.

Re:NASA is the world leader in what?

[masternerdguy]

There's a sick cosmic irony in flying to space on the rockets of your former competitors. Considering the cool stuff NASA was doing with Apollo there isn't an excuse for not having a moon base by now.

Re:NASA is the world leader in what?

[Mr. Underbridge]

I can confidently say no NASA money was wasted on hookers and blow, in space. yet.

Money has never been wasted on hookers and blow. Spent, yes, but not wasted.

Re:NASA is the world leader in what?

[demachina]

The only thing the U.S. saved Europe from in World War II was being completely overrun by our ally at the time, the Soviet Union.

The Soviet Union defeated Nazi Germany at Stalingrad and Kursk in 1942-1943 when the U.S. was barely even engaged in Europe. Germany's defeat was a foregone conclusion by the time the U.S. landed at Normandy in 1944. The U.S. helped win the war certainly but it simply wasn't the decisive force the Soviet Union was or that you are claiming.

Its true the U.S. helped turn the tide against Germany in World War I, but that was simply due to a huge infusion of fresh troops and supplies in to a war where all the incumbent armies and nations were spent. There wasn't anything exceptional about the U.S. troops, any infusion of a million fresh troops from anywhere would have had the same effect.

All things considered, you proved the grandparents point by flaunting how self infatuated and self inflating American's can be. The grandparent is correct, the Vietnamese were probably the most succesful military in the 20th century, and I would add the Afghans as a close second, because they have defeated every vastly superior force they've faced including the Soviet Union and the U.S.

Height discrimination

[Anonymous Coward]

That means no one under 5 foot 2 inches or over 6 foot 3 inches

Discrimination! I'm in the "best of the best", but at 6'7" excluded by this requirement. Dwarves may have legislation banning unreasonable discrimination against them, but us giants are people too!

Small Print

[jaylen]

Small print at the bottom of the job advertisement -

'Astronaut must show ability to hold out right-hand with thumb up, and know enough Russian to 'ask for a lift.'

GATTACA

[mhajicek]

You'd just about have to be genetically engineered to make those requirements.

applicants

[Espectr0]

20/20 vision? Incredible shape? This is slashdot, that means none of us qualify.

Job requirement addendum

[Anonymous Coward]

* The excessively flatulent need not apply.

20/20 Vision?

[camperdave]

20/20 vision? Like Daniel Burbank, Steve Frick, or Don Pettit

Let me sum it up for 99.99% of you...

[JoeMerchant]

Short answer: no.

Longer answer:

A) are you a military pilot with thousands of hours in high-performance jets? If not, forget anything resembling a "pilot" seat.

B) do you regularly publish world-class scientific papers, travel the world on exotic geology expeditions, and run highly successful educational programs all across the world? Or, any three or four similar accomplishments, before age 25... If not, you're not competitive in the "outstanding scientist" category.

C) are you a talented engineer or other professional? If so, you're more valuable on the ground than in front of the world television spotlight.

Sorry to be cynical, when I was 6 years old (1973) "astronaut" was a valid answer to the "what do you want to be when you grow up?" question. In 1973, space travel seemed like it was "going places," but, so far, it hasn't. You would have been much more realistic if you aspired to be a NFL quarterback or highly recognized movie star starting at age 6 in 1973.

Let's hope things are better than they seem for the future of space travel, now nearly 40 years later.

Re:I'm 6'6"

[ISoldat53]

I have enough stuff for two astronauts.

Re:i would *like* to be an astronaut...

[darth dickinson]

While being fit is important for space vocations, I suspect most of the fitness requirements center around looking sexy for TV. The hiring guidelines for astronauts in the US and Russia were created during the biggest PR penis waving contest of the last century, and being sexy for cameras was very important for political reasons. I suspect there is a very large amount of beaurocratic inertia on those guidelines, and that many of the physical fitness reqs are not actually necessary for the job, but have been retained because being too picky is less troublesome than getting new guidelines through regulatory approval.

Have you ever tried to breathe while your extra 40 pounds of belly fat are pressing against your diaphragm at 4 Gs? Heck, the centrifuge-type ride at the US Space & Rocket Center in Huntsville had me struggling to breathe, and I'm sure it doesn't pull nearly that many Gs.

Really?

[Anonymous Coward]

All that, and they still allow you in if you believe in god.

Re:I'm 6'6"

[EdIII]

That's a bit ambiguous. Would that impress the ladies or strike fear in the hearts of Chinese food buffet owners everywhere?

Re:No chance.

[hodet]

Now remember son... "“No matter how good you are at something, there's always about a million people better than you.” - Homer J Simpson.

Re:i would *like* to be an astronaut...

[retchdog]

nonsense! i've been traveling at about 66,000mph for decades. it isn't that hard.