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Stephen Hawking Looking For Personal Techie
kaptink writes "One of the great grandmasters of space, time and the history of our existence is seeking an assistant to help develop and maintain the electronic speech system that allows him to communicate his vision of the universe. An informal job ad posted on Stephen's website said the assistant should be computer literate, ready to travel and able to repair electronic devices 'with no instruction manual or technical support.' He lost his real voice in a tracheotomy in 1985, but has something based on NeoSpeech's VoiceText speech synthesizer mounted on his wheelchair that helps synthesize speech by interpreting the twitches of his face. The synthesizer's robotic monotone has become nearly as famous as Hawking himself, but the computer — powered by batteries fastened to the back of Hawking's wheelchair — isn't just for speaking. It can connect to the internet over mobile phone networks and a universal infrared remote enables the physicist to switch on the lights, watch television, or open doors either at home or at the office. It's a complicated, tailor-made system, as the ad makes clear. A photograph of the back of Hawking's wheelchair, loaded with coiled wires and electronic equipment, is pictured under the words: 'Could you maintain this? If your answer is "yes", we'd like to hear from you!'. Hawking's website says that the job's salary is expected to be about $38,500 a year."
also he will steal your girlfriend if you have one.
If you make a mistake the world will say you broke Stephen Hawking.
You could also probably supplement it later by writing a book or something about being Stephen Hawking's techie. It's a nice attention-grabber to have on your resume, too.
10 PRINT CHR$(205.5+RND(1)); : GOTO 10
http://www.hawking.org.uk/
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most likely goes like this:
- some genius put that original backpack computer together
- he barely made it work, but he was not sure why it worked and he never bothered to write any documentation
- he left as soon as it was up and running, out of fear that it might break any moment and he had no idea what to do then
- now it is breaking apart and the genius is gone.
- it is your job to fix it, good luck
This entails a lot more than just technical aspects:
Sounds like a lot of direct PR stuff is involved, including scheduling and logistics, and even graphics design, which are probably not skills the typical techie would be strong in. Also, the pay sounds kind of low considering it's a whole lot more than just maintaining his technology.
Better known as 318230.
Which might explain why he's got a totally undocumented piece of shit to begin with.
SJW: a person who perceives an injustice, and while correcting it, commits a greater injustice.
This is for a graduate assistant to STEPHEN HAWKING.
My stipend was 1/4 of that at best and, oh yeah, did I mention... This is for a graduate assistant to STEPHEN W. HAWKING.
I know you guys are all so F'ing incredible that you don't need resume bullets or care about other peoples' ideas, but how's about
Um, if I were eligible I'd be making them KNOW I was their man!
It's rather presumptuous(and typical) of religious people to assume that people become atheists only out of spite, and not possibly because believing in a supernatural being is batshit insane and is as ridiculous as believing in Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny. I get that shit all the time from religious people, who respond to my beliefs with ,"Oh, what happened?" as if they cannot comprehend how people can independently arrive at the same, sane conclusion. that's when I roll my eyes and say, "my kitty cat ran away, dumb motherfucker."
...And if Hawking did become an atheist out of spite, it was probably due to the church's past and present treatment of fellow scientists - astrophysicists like Galileo, who was lucky to be put on house arrest instead of killed.
So, here we have a golden opportunity to work for one of the most brilliant humans to ever exist, tinkering with an amazing if poorly documented system, jetsetting around the globe, being paid to attend sold-out physics lectures... and all half the /. community can think to do is bitch about the pay grade.
Seems the Green-Eyed Monster (and this global recession) has ruined a lot of folks. The way I see it, the fact that Hawking is likely footing the bill for the room, board, and travel expenses of whoever gets the gig (as they would be considered a member of his 'care team'), not to mention getting to hang out with Stephen fucking Hawking, $38,000 per annum seems like a pretty damn good deal.
Now, if only I could get my wife on board... I wonder if he needs an economist, too...
An enigma, wrapped in a riddle, shrouded in bacon and cheese
It's only temporary until you learn to make it say to give you a pay increase...
When I was a teenager, my beloved pet frog Fred leaped out of his bowl and escaped. He jumped on the radioactive box in my backyard, which turned him into a giant mutant frog, then he lept down the bottomless pit in my backyard and disappeared.
I followed him into the hole, falling down a thousand feet and landing on my ass next to this car that also kinda looked like a tank. The keys were left in the ignition, so I drove it around and used its ability to fly and climb walls to blow shit up. I finally found Fred, but he wasn't looking or acting the same as he used to (he was trying to kill me), so that made me so sad I had to kill him in self-defense -- once in level 4 and again in level 7.
I lost everything in that hell. I had to kill the frog I loved, twice, and now my car broke down on me so I'm sitting on a hilltop in this strange underword wondering what the fuck I'm gonna do. There, you happy?
If he can get Majel to record the voice, then he will have once again turned our understanding of the linearity of time completely upside down.
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First of all, I doubt that Steven would introduce the employee as "My bitch", he would certainly be more respectful than that. He would probably refer to the person as "My technical assistant" or "The genius that makes it possible for me to communicate".
The circles that he would travel in would be quite prestigious. In the science community he'd be regularly in the presence of some of the greatest minds alive today. In the political community, he's among the "Rock Stars" that politicians want to have pictures of themselves standing next to... as if the association would make them smarter.
On top of that... companies focused on making hardware/software solutions would almost certainly consider a person who worked directly with Steven Hawkings on his accessibility solutions as an ideal CTO for their company. If a person is interested in accessibility solutions as a career and would be interested in starting a business, obtaining government grants or simply raising money for the company would be simple having had that position earlier.
I'd imagine that there are even some great UN posts for someone who held this position. Technical adviser or chairman of this committee of another.
So... while the pay sucks majors balls... if a person sticks around in this position for 4-5 years... they can almost certainly gain the visibility and even a certain level of prestige which would secure their future indefinitely.
Oh... the fact that the person could in theory learn something along the way or even have the opportunity to test their system upgrades by having high level conversations about theoretical physics with a person, who though not as amazing as the press makes him, but still certainly capable of holding his own might be a big bonus for some.
If I weren't married with kids, I would seriously consider this position.