Slashdot Mirror
How Much Stuff Can Timothy Jam Into His New Hoodie's Pockets? (Video)
Timothy Lord is exactly the kind of person for whom the SCOTTEVEST Ultimate Hoodie Microfleece was designed; He's on the go all the time, needs to travel light, and wants to carry lots of stuff on his person to avoid checking luggage when he's flying. Yes, we know; before long half the people waiting to board airliners will be bulked out to double their normal width. Meanwhile, Timothy managed to jam an amazing amount of stuff into his new hoodie. Or jacket, as he prefers to call it.
Transcription in case the video doesn't load.
"This is the Ultimate Hoodie Microfleece by SCOTTVEST. Let's see how much I can cram into it, nothing fancy, just what I'd carry around on an average Friday night at the Slashdot offices.
Three tubes of Astroglide, check! Four elbow-length latex gloves, check! Six ball gags, check check check check check and check! One Yoda doll, check.
Overall, this vest can take quite the fill. It gets 2 Fists Up from the editors of Slashdot."
Trolling is a art,
But will it blend?
A top to go with my vibrams and utilikilt. I was constantly afraid that I only looked like a complete fucking idiot from the waste down.
Hey, if you're a drug dealer this would be great!
Infomercial poses as article. News at 11.
What about a towel? It's about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have.
It doubles as one, but the instructions to do so are written in Vogon poetry.
"If a boss demands loyalty, give him integrity. But if he demands integrity, give him loyalty." (John Boyd, 1927-1997)
A crummy commercial? Son of a bitch!
I definitely have "Ads disabled" checked but they're still coming through thick and fast :-(
Nope. SCOTTEVEST(A).
Actually for good laughs, read the Twitter "feed" on the home page. Pretty sure they've got their target market set on the Slashdot crowd, but clearly underestimate their market's ability to see through the BS.
Hecubas
In TSA security tests, the X-Ray screeners missed 90% of knives and guns sent through the xray machine. The 10% they found was only because they mistook it for a vibrator or crack pipe and wanted to attach a boorish post-it note.
Do you even lift?
These aren't the 'roids you're looking for.
Fortunately, they did away with the old Vogon instruction book. They found a nice lady by the name of Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings to write up a new manual.