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Study Aims To Read Dogs' Thoughts

Posted by samzenpus on from the squirrel-ball-cat! dept.

jjp9999 writes "A new study at Emory University is trying to figure out what dogs think. The study uses functional Magnetic Resonance Imaging (fMRI) to scan the dogs' brains while they're shown different stimuli. Results from the first study will be published by the Public Library of Science, where the dogs were shown hand signals from their owners. 'We hope this opens up a whole new door for understanding canine cognition and inter-species communication. We want to understand the dog-human relationship, from the dog's perspective,' said Gregory Berns, director of the Emory Center for Neuropolicy and lead researcher of the dog project."

16 of 154 comments (clear)

  1. Hello? by dolo724 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Yes, this is Dog.

    --
    But you just gotta have another sigarette
    1. Re:Hello? by HornWumpus · · Score: 4, Funny

      Cats thoughts: Kill the human? No, need food, human bad to eat. Kill the human? No, need catnip. Kill the human? No, need water. DOG. RUN.

      --
      John McAfee 'It was like that time I hired that Bangkok prostitute; to do my taxes, while I fucked my accountant'
    2. Re:Hello? by xevioso · · Score: 4, Funny

      Yeah, I used to think my cats jump up on the bed in the morning to see if I am awake so they can say hello and greet me as I start the new day. Actually I have figured out they are checking to see if I am alive or not so the feasting on my still-warm corpse can begin.

    3. Re:Hello? by outsider007 · · Score: 1, Funny

      Um, cats don't form packs because they form prides.

      --
      If you mod me down the terrorists will have won
  2. Already done by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    Bacon? Is that Bacon? Got to have that bacon! Bacon!

  3. Thanks to scientists... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Instead of Woof! we'll have

    "You are now trespassing on my territory. I have determined that you are not a friend and have no rights to your position. You are hereby advised to withdraw immediately, or run the risk of forcible removal and/or dismemberment."

  4. Read their diaries by naroom · · Score: 2, Funny

    Why bother with MRI? We can just read the dog's diary.

  5. Old news. by AragornSonOfArathorn · · Score: 4, Funny

    Gary Larson figured this out ages ago.

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    sudo eat my shorts
    1. Re:Old news. by Dogtanian · · Score: 4, Funny

      You bet he did!

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      "Slashdot - News and Chat Sites Deviant". (Click "homepage" link above for details).
  6. Gary Larson is still a genius by Just+Some+Guy · · Score: 1, Funny

    I think The Far Side nailed it, circa 25 years ago.

    --
    Dewey, what part of this looks like authorities should be involved?
  7. Profit by Frankie70 · · Score: 4, Funny

    1) Read dog's thoughts.
    2) .......
    3) Profit.

    What's the missing 2nd step here?
    Only a dog would know. If only we could read their thoughts. Wait.....

  8. Canine Decoder by goombah99 · · Score: 4, Funny

    The Canine speech decoder already exists:
    http://d1syadvoyajtpr.cloudfront.net/534fa0b9aacaf866a8eb6c6f51fa1388_500.jpg

    --
    Some drink at the fountain of knowledge. Others just gargle.
  9. I CAN HAZ TRANSLATION? by Guppy · · Score: 4, Funny

    Cats thoughts

    Good attempt but your dialect and accent are off. As a long-time scholar of Cat, let me translate for you:

    I CAN KILLZ HOOMAN? No, need füdz, hoomanz is made of bad füdz.
    I CAN KILLZ HOOMAN? No, give catnipz plz. Kthnxbai.
    I CAN KILLZ HOOMAN? No, give waterz plz. Kthnxbai.
    DOG. RUN.

  10. It has already been decoded. by 140Mandak262Jamuna · · Score: 3, Funny
    An aspiring entomologist, named Gary Larson, had already published a short paper on what dogs hear. Unfortunately I don't have a link but it goes something like this:

    You: Stupid dog Bingo, Why did you do that Bingo? Should you always shred the paper like this Bingo? How can I read it now Bingo! You dimwit Bingo!

    Dog hears: xxxxxx xxx Bingo, xxx xxx xxx xxx xxxx Bingo? xxxxx xxx xxxxxx xxxxx xxx xxxxx xxxx xxxx Bingo? xxx xxx X xxxx xx xxx Bingo! xxx xxxxxx Bingo!

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    sed -e 's/Chuck Norris/Rajnikant/g' joke > fact
  11. They already talk by Tablizer · · Score: 4, Funny

    But dogs can already talk. I swear, here's an absolutely true conversion I had with my dog:

    Me: "Sparky, what's on top of a house?"

    Dog: "Roof!"

    Me: "Sparky, how does sand-paper feel?"

    Dog: "Rough!"

    Me: "Sparky, who is the best baseball player of all time?"

    Dog: "Ruthf!"

    --
    Table-ized A.I.
  12. Re:It's about time, we can learn from other specie by Eightbitgnosis · · Score: 3, Funny

    How complex do you exactly think the mind of a being who eats cat turds out of a littler box actually is?