Zuckerberg Updates Relationship Status To "Married"

If you're subscribed to him.. by Severus+Snape · 2012-05-20 00:30 · Score: 5, Insightful

on facebook you'll already know this. If you aren't, chances are you don't care.

Re:If you're subscribed to him.. by jellomizer · 2012-05-20 00:37 · Score: 4, Funny

I agree Facebook is too mainstream to be news for nerds. If he married a Robot or an executive from Google. That may be a little different.

--
If something is so important that you feel the need to post it on the internet... It probably isn't that important.
Re:If you're subscribed to him.. by Intrepid+imaginaut · 2012-05-20 00:51 · Score: 5, Funny

Well this news should satisfy both those that wish him well, and those that wish him pain and suffering.
Re:If you're subscribed to him.. by Anonymous Coward · 2012-05-20 00:52 · Score: 3, Insightful

Rich guys, remember this and never forget it: if she signs a prenup, it means she really loves you and doesn't plan to divorce. If she won't sign, she loves your money and status.

If she talks about how "unromantic" a prenup is, watch out! Women resort to emotional appeal when you successfully point out they make no logical sense.

I mean marriage itself is pretty unromantic when you think about it. Marriage is "yeah we could decide just to be together, you and me, on our own... but wait! let's add a contract with the government because legal systems and licenses are soooo romantic!" A prenup is really just a variation.

Gentlemen, the time to settle everything is before you say "I do" because you are a man and family courts HATE men and want them to suffer. She gets half your stuff even if she didn't earn a dime of it, guess that's the vagina tax? She automatically gets any kids unless you can prove she's a crack dealer and even then... Don't even get me started on alimony - she has this supposed "right" to "get used to a lifestyle" you provided. Yeah well you got used to a lifestyle she provided too, but is the court going to mandate she come give you a BJ every now and then? No, they won't.
Re:If you're subscribed to him.. by Rich0 · 2012-05-20 01:18 · Score: 5, Insightful

Marriage...has only held on as long as it has because of the tax benefits involved. Dump the tax benefits of marriage and watch the marriage rate plummet overnight.
Not sure I can buy into this side of your argument. When you consider everything involved, do you really think that people get married primarily for tax reasons? Half the people who get married spend so much on the event that I find it hard to believe that they ever recoup that in taxes unless they make $200k/yr or something.
Tons of marriages are between people in their mid-20s who barely have jobs let alone a grasp of tax accounting.
I think the main driver for marriage is tradition and pressure by family to conform to social norms. That, and nobody in love really wants to plan for the incredibly unlikely event that something will go wrong.
Re:If you're subscribed to him.. by rainmouse · 2012-05-20 01:27 · Score: 5, Insightful

If he married a Robot or an executive from Google. That may be a little different.
I dunno I found it somewhat interesting. Looking at some pictures of his new wife shows her to be rather plain looking and frequently struggling with her weight. I find myself constantly looking for reasons to hate the guy, but at least respect is due to someone who marries his pre-fame college sweetheart when he could likely take his pick from just about any of the top millionaire supermodels.
Re:If you're subscribed to him.. by edmicman · 2012-05-20 01:43 · Score: 2

So far the tax advantages of marriage seem to be only geared toward single-income families, couples where one person makes the majority of the income, or families with children. As two professionals with no kids (DINKS!) we repeatedly got screwed over on our taxes. Maybe this was partially because of the complexity of the withholding system or something, but all I know is that in the end we've ended up owing a ton almost every time.
Re:If you're subscribed to him.. by Jah-Wren+Ryel · 2012-05-20 01:56 · Score: 2

respect is due to someone who marries his pre-fame college sweetheart when he could likely take his pick from just about any of the top millionaire supermodels.
On the other hand, millionaire supermodels come with all kinds of headaches that a normal girl doesn't. Whose to say he won't get as much strange as he wants even now - isn't that what facebook is for anyhow?

--
When information is power, privacy is freedom.
Re:If you're subscribed to him.. by BasilBrush · 2012-05-20 02:31 · Score: 4, Insightful

I think the main driver for marriage is tradition and pressure by family to conform to social norms.
For men.
For women, they've mostly been dreaming about their wedding day and married bliss since they were children. It's the fairy tale dream come true. And that's why they consider no expense is too much for the wedding day.
Yes, I generalise. That's what men do.
Re:If you're subscribed to him.. by In+hydraulis · 2012-05-20 02:49 · Score: 5, Insightful

For women, they've mostly been dreaming about their wedding day and married bliss since they were children.
And why?

Because they've had this "dream" pounded into their heads since the day of their birth by their equally-brainwashed mothers.

Same deal with the perceived need to have kids. Gotta get those buns in the oven, you know. How many times have you seen mummy's little girl pushing along a wee toy pram with a wee baby doll in it? Who brought that damned and damning prop into the kid's life?

Looks like tradition (in its worst guise) and familial pressure to me.
Re:If you're subscribed to him.. by SScorpio · 2012-05-20 03:00 · Score: 3, Informative

As professionals are either of you self employed? This changes how the taxes you owe will appears to you as you will see all the money getting paid and have to do quarterly estimates, etc.
But if you both work jobs where taxes are automatically deducted from a pay check, simply choosing one for the number of dependents for both of you should put you right where you need to be.
You do still get screwed over if you own a home because if you were living together but not married you could file separately and do a itemized deduction on one of your taxes, and tax a standard deduction on the other. You can't do that when you're married.
Re:If you're subscribed to him.. by tokul · 2012-05-20 03:11 · Score: 2

when he could likely take his pick from just about any of the top millionaire supermodels

What are you looking for in your future wife? Long time companion or some cardboard beauty, who will be gone 5 years later with half of your estate.
Re:If you're subscribed to him.. by Andtalath · 2012-05-20 03:14 · Score: 4, Insightful

It's a smart move actually.
If you marry someone you started dating before they knew you had money, you know they like you and not just your wallet.
This is not a small thing.
Re:If you're subscribed to him.. by Loosifur · 2012-05-20 03:15 · Score: 5, Insightful

What is with Slashdotters? Plain? Stocky? "Struggling with her weight?" If you go outside twice a week you'll see that this is what most people look like. I think she's a cute girl who probably weighs what normal women weigh, for all that it's my business or even of interest to me. She wouldn't stop the music walking into a bar, but she'd definitely get a few drinks bought for her.
Struggling with her weight, please. She's wearing an H & M skirt that comes up to her nose. Aunt Flo was probably in town and she threw something baggy on to go buy groceries. If and when you con some woman into marrying you that will make sense.
God, seriously, you people and your sharp knees...

--
This unbiased moderation brought to you by the Porcine Aviation Group!
Re:If you're subscribed to him.. by CaptainLard · 2012-05-20 03:16 · Score: 4, Interesting

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Income_tax_in_the_United_States#Year_2012_income_brackets_and_tax_rates

The US 33% tax bracket starts at $178K filing single and $217k filing jointly. So if you and your spouse both made $175k pre marriage, just getting married increases your tax rate by 5%. I'm guessing the majority of husbands and wives both work full time nowadays so most people are getting screwed. Those that aren't, have a home maker or trophy wife for a spouse.

In that case, you get those extra 5% in taxes (or $8k) off your tax bill but are also giving up $40k worth of second incomes! And half your assets in the imminent trophy wive divorce (zing!). But if being with your spouse makes you forget about shit like "tax brackets" on every day but April 15, you're good to go. Otherwise you're making a tea party stump speech, grover norquist, or shouldn't be getting married.
Re:If you're subscribed to him.. by Anonymous Coward · 2012-05-20 03:54 · Score: 2

Oh stop it. All he's saying is that he married a normal looking girl he actually likes instead of a supermodel. It's a good point.
And I guarantee you, that young lady doesn't think she's at her ideal weight. That doesn't mean we're saying there's something wrong with her, or that she isn't cute... Just that she's normal, and good for him.
Re:If you're subscribed to him.. by TheSpoom · 2012-05-20 04:00 · Score: 3, Insightful

The reality is that most reasonable people here don't care, and are thus not commenting.

--
It's better to vote for what you want and not get it than to vote for what you don't want and get it.
- E. Debs
Re:If you're subscribed to him.. by rubycodez · 2012-05-20 04:17 · Score: 4, Insightful

they've already been together for 9 years, far longer than average "marriage" (a legal term for a license). Mark already could have had any woman he wanted, and he continues to choose Priscilla.
Re:If you're subscribed to him.. by BasilBrush · 2012-05-20 04:24 · Score: 2

And the animals with the "perceived need to have kids"? And the ones that mate for life?
It's far more instinct than tradition.
Re:If you're subscribed to him.. by SethJohnson · 2012-05-20 04:40 · Score: 2, Insightful

Mark already could have had any woman he wanted who marries for money, and he continues to choose Priscilla.
Your original statement suggested that every living woman is only interested in money when selecting a partner. That's a bit of an offensive perspective on women.

Seth

--
$5 / month hosted VPS on linux = awesome!
Re:If you're subscribed to him.. by Zero__Kelvin · 2012-05-20 04:52 · Score: 3, Funny

"Mark already could have had any woman he wanted, "
I'm sure Angelina Jolie is home crying right now because she missed out on such a great catch.

--
Guns don't kill people; Physics kills people! - John Lithgow as Dick Solomon on Third Rock From The Sun
Re:If you're subscribed to him.. by RodBee · 2012-05-20 05:00 · Score: 2

You! Stop stomping their dreams! they want to see an obnoxious nerd hump as many supermodels he wants, so they can believe they have a chance too!
Re:If you're subscribed to him.. by LordLimecat · 2012-05-20 05:45 · Score: 2, Insightful

Do you struggle to understand basic emotion, or to empathize with other humans? There are times people have emotions that are not founded on logic, and thats OK. If you love someone not for what they can do for you, or you want to have kids for more reasons than "they will support me in my old age", thats perfectly fine.
It might occur to you that some people want kids because theyve seen how much joy they can bring to a household-- but then that requires you to actually care about other humans, which concept you seem to be struggling with.
Re:If you're subscribed to him.. by rvw · 2012-05-20 07:37 · Score: 2

But regardless, it's nice to see if it's genuine, I guess we're so used to precisely this type of bullshit in the music and movie industry that it's easy to be cynical, but I guess many tech types in general i.e. Bill Gates also have managed to at least maintain lasting relationships. I guess that's because tech types generally aren't shallow people, they did have to have some semblance of intelligence and rationality to get where they were whilst the same can't be said for actors and musicians I suppose.
Tech types aren't shallow people? That's a big general. To do something like Zuckerberg did is proof of high intelligence, not only in the technical sense, but mostly in a social sense. You have to be a people's manager to get something like this working. You need many skills, technical, social, commercial, and you have to handle all the attention and critique you get. And for that you need a good partner at home, one that supports you and doesn't compete. Not one that gets all attention because she's so pretty, but one that can listen and give advice and doesn't judge. So intelligence on her part is a must. Reasonable good looks help, while it could attract too much attention if she is too good looking for him, and for ugly it works the same. That is competition that works against the partnership.
Re:If you're subscribed to him.. by mc10 · 2012-05-20 08:14 · Score: 2

Honestly? "Stocky"? What is wrong with you cowards... She looks fine in her picture with Zuckerberg.
Re:If you're subscribed to him.. by turing_m · 2012-05-20 10:31 · Score: 2

Because they've had this "dream" pounded into their heads since the day of their birth by their equally-brainwashed mothers.
Because if your daughter is going to have kids, you want her to shack up with some loser who can't make a commitment in front of all his friends and family, and her friends and family. After that loser cuts and runs, your daughter will be trying to keep her kids clothed, fed, educated and inadequately protected by herself - and doing a half ass job of all of it. Unless your daughter is an amazon and has been training martial arts since age 5, she won't stand a chance vs the average male with bad intentions.
And sure, there are people out there whose commitment isn't worth the paper it's written on. In the old days before easy travel around the country (and world), they were shunned in the community and this had some effect. Now a woman needs to learn how to gauge whether her mate will honor his commitments. It's harder for sure. But marriage as an institution is still definitely a valuable institution for women, primarily those who will be having children. Such a woman is foolish in general for forsaking it. And a parent is foolish for not inculcating a desire for marriage in his/her daughter, especially knowing how silly some young women can be and the irrevocability of decisions such as having children to a non-committal loser.

Same deal with the perceived need to have kids. Gotta get those buns in the oven, you know. How many times have you seen mummy's little girl pushing along a wee toy pram with a wee baby doll in it? Who brought that damned and damning prop into the kid's life?
Honestly, what is the big problem with having kids? If we didn't have kids our species would die off. And anyone who has had kids knows that boys and girls are different, and on average have very different drives.

--
If I have seen further it is by stealing the Intellectual Property of giants.
Re:If you're subscribed to him.. by tehcyder · 2012-05-20 23:34 · Score: 2

A man's perceived attractiveness increases as a function of his wealth.
That's what uncharismatic, ugly old rich men say to give some meaning to their money-obsessed empty little lives.

If you view all women as whores, you will end up marrying a whore.

--
To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it

Okay... by FreedomOfThought · 2012-05-20 00:32 · Score: 5, Insightful

Why is this news? This is something you would find on entertainment tonight.

Is this "stuff that matters?" by betterunixthanunix · 2012-05-20 00:33 · Score: 4, Insightful

Is this "news for nerds?"

--
Palm trees and 8

Re:Is this "stuff that matters?" by Anonymous Coward · 2012-05-20 00:46 · Score: 5, Funny

"Nerd gets married", how is this not news? There is hope for us all!
Re:Is this "stuff that matters?" by BasilBrush · 2012-05-20 02:35 · Score: 4, Funny

It is a relief he got married. A nerd with a girlfriend was an unsettling phenomenon.

CNN.com reckoning of time by michaelmalak · 2012-05-20 00:37 · Score: 3, Insightful

For a while last night, the front page of cnn.com read, "Days after his company made its stock market debut, Facebook co-founder and chief executive Mark Zuckerberg married his longtime girlfriend Priscilla Chan." The new cycle has shortened so much that even journalists now make the error of thinking several days have elapsed when only 24 hours have.

Let's discuss TFA by betterunixthanunix · 2012-05-20 00:37 · Score: 4, Insightful

The person would not discuss the names of others who attended to protect their privacy.

Oh the irony...

--
Palm trees and 8

Re:Hahahahaha by jellomizer · 2012-05-20 00:40 · Score: 5, Funny

As you sit alone. Lonely and Miserable.

--
If something is so important that you feel the need to post it on the internet... It probably isn't that important.

Re:Who cares? by jellomizer · 2012-05-20 00:43 · Score: 2, Insightful

But you care enough to post a comment about it.

--
If something is so important that you feel the need to post it on the internet... It probably isn't that important.

Re:Who cares? by Crasoose · 2012-05-20 01:00 · Score: 2

Are you saying you're too lazy to add spam filters in your email? Make your discontent known now with a comment and maybe in the future you won't have to browse over an article like this again.

Re:Who cares? by moozey · 2012-05-20 01:00 · Score: 2

I agree with your first sentiment.

As for insulting 800+ million people because they happen to use a website that you don't like? Stop being a pretentious knob and quit worrying about things you apparently don't care for.

Re:Who cares? by AngryDeuce · 2012-05-20 01:15 · Score: 4, Insightful

As if 99% of the people on the average Facebook junkie's friend's list are actually "friends" in the first place.

Facebook has taken the word 'friend' and perverted it to mean anyone you've ever spoken to in your life, at any point of your life, from kindergarten to present, and the sick thing is, people actually are starting to think of those people as their friends.

GP was being a douche, I'll grant that, but let's not pretend that Facebook friends are actually friends in the true meaning of the word. People collect friends on Facebook like they're Pokemon...

Re:now ... by tverbeek · 2012-05-20 01:23 · Score: 2

In most OSes it's usually an X or red dot in the upper-left/-right corner of the window. HTH.

--
http://alternatives.rzero.com/

Re:longtime girlfriend? by Nidi62 · 2012-05-20 01:29 · Score: 5, Funny

isn't that marriage?

No. When you have a girlfriend you're still having sex.

--
The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for it to be pitted against a slightly greater evil

Re:I still say... by Ihmhi · 2012-05-20 01:30 · Score: 2

It's all the weight he lost recently. He used to be healthier looking, but when you sign the contract and Belial, Lord of Lies rips your netherself from the husk that is left on the mortal coil, you drop about 26-27 lbs.

--
Random Thoughts From A Diseased Mind (Not For Dummies)

Vote with your clicks by dejanc · 2012-05-20 01:34 · Score: 2

If you don't like a piece of news on Slashdot, I think the best idea is not to open it. As far as Slashdot is concerned, you are just +1 in their visitor log. If this news didn't get any comments or views, it would be the best filter against this kind of stories in the future.

Re:Hahahahaha by Ihmhi · 2012-05-20 01:36 · Score: 2

Well, I'm not sure about the "bitch" part seeing as I know pretty much nothing about her, but I wouldn't exactly call her fat.

--
Random Thoughts From A Diseased Mind (Not For Dummies)

Marrying Ages of Tech's Rich and Famous by theodp · 2012-05-20 01:44 · Score: 3, Informative

1. Bill Gates, age 39. 2. Larry Page, age 34. 3. Sergey Brin, age 33. 4. Steve Jobs, 36. 5. Larry Ellison, 23, 33, 39, 59 (currently divorced).

Re:Marrying Ages of Tech's Rich and Famous by Nemyst · 2012-05-20 02:59 · Score: 4, Funny

All this shows is that Ellison is an ass even in his personal life.

Re:ANd a Doctor by Anonymous Coward · 2012-05-20 01:54 · Score: 5, Insightful

Napster is great, everyone uses it, it's going to be around for ever!
Yahoo! is great, everyone uses it, it's going to be around for ever!
MySpace is great, everyone uses it, it's going to be around for ever!

Later...

Facebook is great, everyone uses it, it's going to be around for ever!

Leykis 101 by in_ur_face · 2012-05-20 02:30 · Score: 2

Zukerberg must not be a student of Leykis 101...

This should make for a good topic from the professor on the Tom Leykis show Monday!!!

https://twitter.com/#!/tomleykis/status/204110248502493184

Re:Hahahahaha by Loosifur · 2012-05-20 03:08 · Score: 5, Funny

40 pounds? It might seem strange to you, given your...perspective...but heterosexual men aren't really attracted to anorexic models. Yes, they're easy to drape clothes on, which I'm sure comes in handy in your profession, but they don't really look, well, feminine. Again, not something you're concerned about, but the rest of us kinda dig chicks, see?

--
This unbiased moderation brought to you by the Porcine Aviation Group!

Re:longtime girlfriend? by History's+Coming+To · 2012-05-20 03:22 · Score: 3, Informative

In Scotland, yes. A couple who share a bed every night for a year and a day are common-law husband and wife. So it's not and entirely dumb question.

--
Please consider this account deleted, I just can't be bothered with the spam anymore.

Re:Hahahahaha by rubycodez · 2012-05-20 04:22 · Score: 2

you'll note porn stars are not bony anorexic models, because their bodies really don't look good and are only useful for clothes hangers for garments largely designed by the fashion scene's homosexual men.

I wonder how long before... by Red_Chaos1 · 2012-05-20 04:24 · Score: 2

...he begins modifying the terms of marriage to continually erode her privacy to monetize her.

Re:longtime girlfriend? by Zero__Kelvin · 2012-05-20 04:50 · Score: 5, Funny

"The studies have shown that married people have more sex than the unmarried"

Yes, but not necessarily with each other.

--
Guns don't kill people; Physics kills people! - John Lithgow as Dick Solomon on Third Rock From The Sun

Re:Hahahahaha by allcoolnameswheretak · 2012-05-20 07:28 · Score: 4, Insightful

Actually she's not fat, and she looks very pretty and sweet. More likely than not, she is also very intelligent. In short, the kind of woman that you will probably never have.

Not news by Kardos · 2012-05-20 07:51 · Score: 2

This is not news for nerds. It's not even news for normal people. This shit belongs in the tabloids.

Re:Hahahahaha by mc10 · 2012-05-20 08:12 · Score: 2

Coward, post this with an actual account.

Re:Hahahahaha by mc10 · 2012-05-20 08:13 · Score: 4, Insightful

She looks perfectly fine. Too many people like you promote the development of anorexic models.

Re:Hahahahaha by causality · 2012-05-20 11:25 · Score: 3, Insightful

Actually she's not fat, and she looks very pretty and sweet. More likely than not, she is also very intelligent. In short, the kind of woman that you will probably never have.

I think she's a "butterface" (everything looks nice ... but her face). Like Garner from the show Alias. But she's definitely not obese and anorexia isn't sexy; you're not supposed to be attracted to nutcases. I am in the USA so I really, REALLY wish more women had a BMI like hers. Seriously.

The US dating pool is drastically reduced by too many people who seem hardcore determined to commit suicide-by-food. That's both sexes, for my lady friends complain about this too. Barring a physical cause like a thyroid disorder, which is very rare, it's just not possible to be obese and emotionally healthy at the same time. And believe me, you really don't want to be yoked to a woman who is an emotional disaster. Obesity is one of those things that's unattractive for good reason, it is not merely a matter of taste. I wouldn't want to be with a food-aholic any more than I'd like to be with an alcoholic. Both are self-destructive.

--
It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education. - Einstein

My 10 year prediction... by damn_registrars · 2012-05-20 12:52 · Score: 2

I will wager that in 10 years, if she decides to practice medicine after having completed med school, she will be making more money than him. Facebook is on a giant bubble that will pop before then.

--
Damn_registrars has no butt-hole. Damn_registrars has no use for a butt-hole.

Re:Hahahahaha by koan · 2012-05-20 22:28 · Score: 2

Who cares...

--
"If any question why we died, Tell them because our fathers lied."

Slashdot Mirror

Zuckerberg Updates Relationship Status To "Married"

59 of 335 comments (clear)