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Raunchy Dance Routine a PR Nightmare For Microsoft

theodp writes "GeekWire reports on the techno-dance routine that preceded Microsoft's Windows Azure presentation at the Norwegian Developers Conference this week, which featured a group of women jumping around on stage to a song that included several drug references and the line: 'The words MICRO and SOFT don't apply to my penis.' In a strange effort to be inclusive, a monitor displaying the lyrics added, 'or vagina.' The official Windows Azure YouTube channel has posted an apology for 'a skit that involved inappropriate and offensive elements and vulgar language,' and said it's actively looking into the matter. Hey, could've been worse — at least @ASUS wasn't live-tweeting the event!"

36 of 322 comments (clear)

  1. Or Vagina? by eldavojohn · · Score: 5, Funny

    'The words MICRO and SOFT don't apply to my penis.' In a strange effort to be inclusive, a monitor displaying the lyrics added, 'or vagina.'

    What in the hell is an "or vagina"? Is that new hardware slang for an OR gate?

    --
    My work here is dung.
    1. Re:Or Vagina? by netwarerip · · Score: 5, Funny

      'The words MICRO and SOFT don't apply to my penis.' In a strange effort to be inclusive, a monitor displaying the lyrics added, 'or vagina.'

      What in the hell is an "or vagina"? Is that new hardware slang for an OR gate?

      Well, Micro and Soft would be ideal for a vagina.

    2. Re:Or Vagina? by ShieldW0lf · · Score: 5, Funny

      Nothing sexier than a big, hard vagina. I'm moving to Norway.

      --
      -1 Uncomfortable Truth
    3. Re:Or Vagina? by SadButTrue · · Score: 5, Funny

      Protip: They are quite stretchy
      Spoiler: That is where babies come from

      --
      grape - the GNU free, open source rape
    4. Re:Or Vagina? by philip.paradis · · Score: 4, Funny

      Norway is obviously the ancient home of the Clitorati. They only recently resurfaced thanks to the diligent efforts of the world's most dedicated Microsoft evangelists.

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      Write failed: Broken pipe
    5. Re:Or Vagina? by philip.paradis · · Score: 5, Funny

      I'm not sure the words "pro," "tip," and "spoil" are going to produce the best visual in this context.

      --
      Write failed: Broken pipe
  2. What happened to the good old days? by DickBreath · · Score: 5, Funny

    developers, Developers, DEVELOPERS, DEVELOPERS ?

    I Love This Company!

    --

    I'll see your senator, and I'll raise you two judges.
    1. Re:What happened to the good old days? by bitt3n · · Score: 5, Funny

      developers, Developers, DEVELOPERS, DEVELOPERS

      or vagina

    2. Re:What happened to the good old days? by schroedingers_hat · · Score: 5, Funny

      I used to keep up with all the new memes and not repeat tired old ones, then I took an arrow to the knee
      or vagina.

    3. Re:What happened to the good old days? by rtfa-troll · · Score: 5, Interesting

      If he sold off his shares, then I might believe you were anything but a piss-poor Troll. But he hasn't.

      Funny you should mention that.

      I'd say that Billy has been selling off Microsoft shares as fast as he possibly can without people noticing too much.

      So whoever modded this +1, kindly go unfuck yourself before attempting further moderation.

      Ah yes. I think we know why you don't have mod points.

      --
      =~ s,(.*),<sarcasm>$1</sarcasm>,g if any_point_you_wish();
    4. Re:What happened to the good old days? by ghostdoc · · Score: 5, Funny

      damn I never have a mod point when I need one

      or vagina

      --
      Business/App ideas are like arseholes: everyone's got one, they're mostly shit, but very rarely they contain a diamond
  3. Childish by aepervius · · Score: 4, Insightful

    "'The words MICRO and SOFT don't apply to my penis.'"

    And the word "maturity" and "adulthood" don't seem to apply to your brain either.

    --
    C. Sagan : A demon haunted world:
    http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0345409469/
    visit randi.org
  4. Jezus Fucking Puritans. by MRe_nl · · Score: 5, Informative

    But that dance routine WAS a disaster.
    Also, that's not Techno.

    --
    "Kill 'em all and let Root sort 'em out"
  5. Anyone else remember Microsoft Mambo #5? by Suzuran · · Score: 4, Funny

    I remember when they rolled out the Microsoft Mambo #5, it was so bad I had to leave the room so I wouldn't laugh in front of the customers. I don't know who thought this was a good idea, but they should be dragged to death behind a truck.

  6. Re:OH MY GAWD !!! HE SAID PENIS by MickyTheIdiot · · Score: 4, Insightful

    As an American I am only offended that the girls weren't hotter and the dance wasn't more sexy.

    The words to the "song.." well, I can only say this: "Non Native Speaker."

  7. Microsoft and music by OzPeter · · Score: 4, Funny

    I always thought that Microsoft made bad choices for music. For Windows 95 they used the Rolling Stones' Start Me Up, which contains the lyrics :

    If you start me up
    If you start me up I'll never stop

    Which was fine for an adv. campaign, but then the next line always seemed weird for Microsoft to want to associate with:

    You make a grown man cry

    Yet in hindsight was amazingly prophetic in the context of Win95 .

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    I am Slashdot. Are you Slashdot as well?
    1. Re:Microsoft and music by Dunbal · · Score: 4, Funny

      can't get no satisfaction? oh wait, no... although it's a better fit.

      --
      Seven puppies were harmed during the making of this post.
  8. Any bigger PR nightmare? by mattr · · Score: 5, Interesting

    It could be worse. I discovered a famous furniture company's name means "ass" in Swedish from some engineers who couldn't stop laughing whenever they would see these boxes everywhere. I couldn't find it in the dictionary so it must be colloquial.

    I wonder is there a way to search whether a made up brand name matches any word colloquial or not in any of the mainstream languages?

    1. Re:Any bigger PR nightmare? by phonewebcam · · Score: 4, Funny

      Quite - and Brits must never inform any Americans a colleague has just nipped out for a quick fag down the back alley, no matter how accurate and innocent it sounds to them.

  9. The harder they try by l0ungeb0y · · Score: 5, Insightful

    The harder Microsoft tries to look cool, the more they look like awkward social retards staring at their feet in the corner of the highschool dance. I'm hard pressed to think of a company with a worse public image -- aside from Haliburton and PG&E, who actually kill people to achieve profit.

    1. Re:The harder they try by DoofusOfDeath · · Score: 5, Funny

      I disagree with you regarding the particular kind of misfit they come across as.

      In my mind, Microsoft is a stodgy, big company representing most of the evils of old men corrupted by wealth. They use patents and lobbyists to lock out competitors, they screw of customers and business partners, they belong to the BSA, etc.

      So to me, it would like Mr. Burns from the Simpsons paid for the high-school prom, and then demanded all students stand around him to watch him do a Dirty Dancing version of the Charleston.

  10. Re:WTF would Apple do? by MickyTheIdiot · · Score: 5, Funny

    Apple would have girls that were actually sexy.

  11. I think that I speak for everyone when I say, by Bender+Unit+22 · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Meh....

    Lame lyrics and where's the raunchy dance?
    Geekwire needs to check up on the state of music videos these days(the uncensored versions). Or maybe not, it will give them a heartattack. :D

  12. I click on a link for a "raunchy dance routine"... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Insightful

    And I get this? Come on, that looked like routine from my junior high talent show, but not as raunchy. This is more blatant headline sensationlism by Slashdot!

    But I do so love the ESL lyrics.

    Blue Jeans on Fire!
    Chevrolet, Elvis!
    Blue jeans on fire!
    New York, let's go!

  13. Don't put the hipster in charge of presentations by crazyjj · · Score: 4, Interesting

    Every incident like this I've ever been involved with usually began with a staff meeting where everyone thought it would be a great idea to be young and hip by putting the young and hip guy in charge of some presentation. And it usually ended with said young and hip guy explaining why he honestly thought that having someone sing a rendition of "Cop Killer" to a backdrop of nude dancers would be appropriate for a presentation of of the company's annual shareholders' report.

    Leave the musical numbers for the Oscars and the comedy skits for SNL. They already do them bad enough without you trying too.

    --
    What political party do you join when you don't like Bible-thumpers *or* hippies?
  14. Watched some by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    Didn't think it was all that bad. Sure it hurt my ears, but didn't touch my delicate sensibilities.

  15. Re:WTF would Apple do? by WrongSizeGlass · · Score: 5, Funny

    Apple would have girls that were actually sexy.

    With rounded corners, of course ;-)

  16. Official Stance by EXTomar · · Score: 5, Funny

    Microsoft's official stance: If you aren't sure what something is, Bing(tm) it. Go to your XBox 360 with Kinnect and shout proudly "XBOX BING OR VAGINA".

  17. Non-Native Insight by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Informative

    Actually, we speak English just fine here [in Norway], even though it's a second language for most. English is after all a close cousin of the Scandinavian languages, Dutch and German. It's closer to "native" than you would think.

    I'm sorry to say we have no excuse for this silly little song, other than that we have a different culture and couldn't care less about offending "sensitive" foreigners :)

    I haven't heard the song itself, but you might want to consider the fact that we also like to intentionally create songs that make a mockery of both our languages. It's called parody. Things are not always what they appear to be ;)

    1. Re:Non-Native Insight by Sperbels · · Score: 4, Interesting

      I'm sorry to say we have no excuse for this silly little song, other than that we have a different culture and couldn't care less about offending "sensitive" foreigners :)

      And you shouldn't. But as an American, I'm wondering where all these sensitive American are? Who are these prigs who are offended by this? I couldn't care less about it either? We're in an industry composed mostly of men...I get a feeling this is something that the MS PR department alone is freaking out about...because some little old church lady might see this and get offended and...what?...start using Linux?!?!? I don't know.

  18. Re:WTF would Apple do? by vlm · · Score: 5, Funny

    The good news is the Apple girls would be multi touch enabled, the bad news is only one "button" to play with even if the world standard has always been to ship with two. And they'd be shiny, very shiny.

    --
    "Science flies us to the moon. Religion flies us into buildings." - Victor Stenger
  19. Tired of this by Dripdry · · Score: 5, Insightful

    You know what's immature? The fact that we as a culture seem ok with glorifying violence against people, killing and maiming them, but when you use the word "penis" then OMG! horrible! It's not natural Bullshit.

    The world would be a happier, healthier place if we just stood up against this nonsense and admit that sex is fine, fun, and healthy. Seriously, who made that headline? Other than a stupid song with some dumb lyrics, who cares? Sure, it doesn't really get across what MS wants, but a "PR Nightmare"? Give me a break.

    It's headlines like these that keep perpetuating the controlling and immature notion that sexuality is a sin, punishable by censure or banishment from society. If MS had used a video of the paperclip smacking around then crushing an apple that oozes blood it wouldn't be appropriate but would it be a "PR Nightmare"?

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    -
  20. Revised retraction by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny
    I hear they just revised their YouTube retraction in order to be more inclusive.

    “This week’s Norwegian Developer’s Conference included a skit that involved inappropriate and offensive elements and vulgar language. We apologize to our customers and our partners and are actively looking into the matter or vagina.”

  21. Re:Damage control by miknix · · Score: 4, Interesting

    Microsoft already seems to be doing some kind of damage control because I cannot share this link on facebook. Facebook tells me I'm trying to share a blocked link...

  22. Awkward... by khendron · · Score: 4, Informative

    I haven't seen something like that since the time my company accidentally hired strippers for our Vegas-themed Christmas party.

    --
    Life is like a web application. Sometime you need cookies just to get by.
  23. You salute the uniform. by jeko · · Score: 4, Interesting

    You know how members of the military show genuine respect for some idiot that outranks them?

    Because when you salute, you're not saluting the man, you're saluting "the uniform," the office the man holds, not the man. It's kind of a dodge, I'll grant you, but one I think works.

    The badge works the same way. I'll follow an officer's instructions in public not because he's a great guy, but because he holds a public office We the People have invested with authority. It's the badge that's important, not the man.

    When I was in college, I worked at a very large and successful tourist trap restaurant and bar at a site of great natural beauty. The owner hired two sheriff's deputies for security. In return for hanging out on the weekends and hitting on the waitstaff, the owner provided those two deputies with half of their takehome pay and just a whole lot of booze.

    It didn't take long for the corruption to set in. The owner was getting those deputies money, alcohol and sex and sure enough, they very quickly became his personal pet deputies. I saw people get arrested for very little more than "Contempt of Owner," while the DUI patrols that used to hover around the restaraunt mysteriously evaporated.

    It's a pretty simple principle. The badge should not be available for rent or sale. Private money should not buy public authority. Doing so is called "Bribery." Our Law Enforcement Officers need to avoid even the appearance of favoritism or bias, and thus should not be taking money from people thay may one day be called upon to testify against or arrest.

    If this means we need to pay our LEOs a living wage, so be it.

    --
    He put his boots up on the table and made a face. "The sig," he smirked. "You can waste your life in search of the sig."