Fundamentalist Schools Using "Nessie" To Disprove Evolution

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Fundamentalist Schools Using "Nessie" To Disprove Evolution

Posted by samzenpus on Monday June 25, 2012 @07:02AM from the tell-them-about-the-banana dept.

The debate between creationists and proponents of evolution isn't ending any time soon, but now some creationists have a secret weapon, "Nessie!" Certain fundamentalist schools in Louisiana plan to teach children that the Loch Ness monster is real in a bid to disprove Darwin's theory of evolution. From the article: "One ACE textbook – Biology 1099, Accelerated Christian Education Inc – reads: 'Are dinosaurs alive today? Scientists are becoming more convinced of their existence. Have you heard of the "Loch Ness Monster" in Scotland? "Nessie" for short has been recorded on sonar from a small submarine, described by eyewitnesses, and photographed by others. Nessie appears to be a plesiosaur.' Another claim taught is that a Japanese whaling boat once caught a dinosaur. It's unclear if the movie Godzilla was the inspiration for this lesson."

23 of 936 comments (clear)

Was Jesus riding Nessie? by Anonymous Coward · 2012-06-25 07:04 · Score: 5, Funny

Just asking....
1. Re:Was Jesus riding Nessie? by Reasonable+Facsimile · 2012-06-25 07:10 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  Just asking....
  No, just cuddling....
  http://cdn.twentytwowords.com/wp-content/uploads/Jesus-and-dinosaur-e1299096274567-634x865.jpg
2. Re:Was Jesus riding Nessie? by Niris · 2012-06-25 07:13 · Score: 1, Funny
  
  Maybe Jesus _WAS_ Nessy. Just picture it: Nessie descending from the heavens, white robe billowing in the wind, sunlight glistening off flippers on the third day. Jesus Nessy Saves!
3. Re:Was Jesus riding Nessie? by ubergeek65536 · 2012-06-25 07:34 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  I found proof and I doubt it's a fake since they didn't have photoshop 2000 years ago.
  http://www.dailysquib.co.uk/most-popular/1236-scientists-prove-jesus-walked-with-dinosaurs.html
4. Re:Was Jesus riding Nessie? by Sponge+Bath · 2012-06-25 07:49 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  That's what I was thinking. If you read the bible, you notice that Jesus and Nessie were never in the same place at the same time. You can't argue with the bible.
5. Re:Was Jesus riding Nessie? by LifesABeach · 2012-06-25 08:06 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  Cats have multiplication figured out. And when it comes to eating Primates, Cats have subtraction figured out also. Halfway there?
6. Re:Was Jesus riding Nessie? by ClickOnThis · 2012-06-25 08:08 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  Speaking of fairy tales:
  Would you areee that in a million years it is possible, via the mechanism of evolution, that a housecat will teach mathematics at a college level.
  I await your response.
  If it's Schrödinger's cat, I'd say "maybe."
  
  --
  If it weren't for deadlines, nothing would be late.
7. Re:Was Jesus riding Nessie? by crazyjj · 2012-06-25 08:09 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  Don't be silly. Jesus rides a Harley.
  
  --
  What political party do you join when you don't like Bible-thumpers *or* hippies?
8. Re:Was Jesus riding Nessie? by amicusNYCL · 2012-06-25 08:21 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  My favorite part of that picture has always been that the dinosaur still looks like it's super-pissed.
  
  --
  "Our two-party system is like a bowl of shit looking at itself in a mirror." - Lewis Black
9. Re:Was Jesus riding Nessie? by Roachie · 2012-06-25 08:24 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  Ok, sure, so descendants of house cats, dogs, gerbils, sparrows, all driving around in [flying] cars, working 9-to-5...
  And people say creationists believe silly things!
  
  --
  This sig is not paradoxical or ironic.
10. Re:Was Jesus riding Nessie? by dkleinsc · 2012-06-25 08:37 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  Would you areee that in a million years it is possible, via the mechanism of evolution, that a housecat will teach mathematics at a college level.
  No, but he could dress in nice suits.
  
  --
  I am officially gone from /. Long live http://www.soylentnews.com/
11. Re:Was Jesus riding Nessie? by eyrieowl · 2012-06-25 08:40 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  Conveniently accounts for walking on water too.
12. Re:Was Jesus riding Nessie? by TeknoHog · 2012-06-25 08:48 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  If you extrapolate on human evolution (see Idiocracy), it will more likely be Schrödinger's lolcat. I'd say "I can haz Heizenburger?"
  
  --
  Escher was the first MC and Giger invented the HR department.
13. Re:Was Jesus riding Nessie? by Anonymous Coward · 2012-06-25 09:04 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  It's whatever the programmer who writes the fitness functions wants it to be.
14. Re:Was Jesus riding Nessie? by asdf7890 · 2012-06-25 09:12 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  No, Moses was the biker of the bible:
  
  "the roar of Moses' Triumph is heard in the hills."
15. Re:Was Jesus riding Nessie? by pushing-robot · 2012-06-25 09:18 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  Stop anthropomorphizing programmers. We hate that.
  
  --
  How can I believe you when you tell me what I don't want to hear?
Further evidence by 0123456789 · 2012-06-25 07:08 · Score: 5, Funny

I think the Lousiana schools are ignoring important documentary footage of the family of Nessie from the 80s, as described here.
Re:They are even dumber than they seem. by Anonymous Coward · 2012-06-25 07:13 · Score: 5, Funny

You're right. In contrast, finding Chewbacca would prove that evolution doesn't make sense.
Re:Flying Spaghetti Monster? by Anonymous Coward · 2012-06-25 07:14 · Score: 2, Funny

Flying Spaghetti Monster, Jersey Devil, Flying Saucers/Roswell, Bigfoot, Yeti, Dragons, Unicorns, Mermaids, Hobgoblins, and Trolls
Those are fo the advanced course Biology 1100.
Re:Failed argument on all counts by tekrat · 2012-06-25 07:20 · Score: 3, Funny

I'm sorry, but you're thinking rationally.
Clearly, you don't "get it". Arguing scientific facts with religious fundamentalists is a waste of time.
It's like how Chris Rock describes arguing with your wife. All logical arguments fail, because the target of your argument isn't logical to begin with.

--
If telephones are outlawed, then only outlaws will have telephones.
Re:Insomnia? by ChrisMaple · 2012-06-25 07:21 · Score: 5, Funny

With his daughter.

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Contribute to civilization: ari.aynrand.org/donate
Re:Flying Spaghetti Monster? by redneckmother · 2012-06-25 07:40 · Score: 5, Funny

Careful with that line of reasoning. Pretty soon you'll get to "Witches are real". And we all know what you do to witches.
Put them on a balance scale with ducks?
Re:They are even dumber than they seem. by Curupira · 2012-06-25 07:55 · Score: 5, Funny

You're right. In contrast, finding Chewbacca would prove that evolution doesn't make sense.
Do you know what would disprove the evolution? This is Chewbacca. Now think about that for one moment -- that does not make sense. Why am I talking about Chewbacca when a man's life is on the line? Why? I'll tell you why: I don't know. It does not make sense. If Chewbacca does not make sense, you must acquit!