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Ask Slashdot: What Are the Implications of Finding the Higgs Boson?
PhunkySchtuff writes "OK, so we're all hearing the news that they've found the Higgs boson. What are some of the more practical implications that are likely to come out of this discovery? I realize it's hard to predict this stuff — who would have thought that shining a bright light on a rod of ruby crystal would have lead to digital music on CDs and being able to measure the distance to the moon to an accuracy of centimeters? If the Higgs boson is the particle that gives other particles mass, would our being able to manipulate the Higgs lead to being able to do things with mass such as we can do with electromagnetism? Will we be able to shield or block the Higgs from interacting with other particles, leading to a reduction in mass (and therefore weight?) Are there other things that this discovery will lead to in the short to medium term?"
There will be an immediate and nearly catastrophic increase in the amount of bad science, pseudo-science and technobabble-based science fiction in popular media.
It could be years before the world recovers from this.
1)The Higgs diet. Eat whatever you want, you'll always weigh as much as you want!
2)A freakin' suitcase that no matter what I'm putting in, it will always weigh less than 20kg, 'cause FUCK YOU AIRPORTS AND YOUR EXTRA FEES.
Comic Sans in particular can be expected to become more popular.
We will be able to develop a new physics engine for Angry Birds.
Honestly. The hype on this Higgs-Boson quest is reaching nauseating levels. It's cool, but what of it? Will it give us world peace? Will it deliver flying cars? What about donuts? Doesn't anyone think about donuts anymore?!?
A feeling of having made the same mistake before: Deja Foobar
now that its been discovered, all textbooks will have to be re-written and sold to students.
Sudden, otherwise inexplicable increase in popularity of "Higgs" as a baby name.
God help us!
Invenio via vel creo
They were confused by a Led Zeppelin mp3. Besides, too much digital music can lead to deaf leopards.
Everyone knows Bosun Higgs is in charge of the mass on this ship.
We will find a way to blow stuff up with it. It's humanity's specialty, after all.
More likely it'll feature in some diet pharma ploy - Reduce Your Mass With New Higgs-Boson Removing Creme!
The way you float around the room, I'd say you've lost a few Higgs-Bosons, Honey!
A feeling of having made the same mistake before: Deja Foobar
I'm predicting a run on big sticks and bigger rocks at around the year 2026 or so.
Terrible analogy. How are you supposed to sell Higgs Boson's on eBay?
by Mike Buddha -- Someday the mountain might get him, but the law never will.
And we have a winner for a DOD grant for research in the new field of death/destruction by excessive mass.
Obama's legacy: (N)othing (S)ecure (A)nywhere and (T)error (S)imulation (A)dministration
And we have a winner for a DOD grant for research in the new field of death/destruction by excessive mass.
Brings a new meaning to Weapons of Mass Destruction, doesn't it?
"All tyranny needs to gain a foothold is for people of good conscience to remain silent." [Thomas Jefferson]
Are you sure it would be a big boom and not a big bang?
And if -- ghod forbid -- we discover a way to make the vacuum unstable, then we might learn how to make one really big boom. Just one, because it will consume the entire universe, but that one will be REALLY BIG.
What do you think happened when the last sentient species figured this out, about.. oh, 13.7 billion years ago..
Look back up at my post, now look back down, you're on the Internet. Now look back up. I'm a signature.
And we have a winner for a DOD grant for research in the new field of death/destruction by excessive mass.
I'd have thought McDonald's would have had that locked up years ago.
Please stand clear of the doors, por favor mantenganse alejado de las puertas
Best... fireworks... ever!
Unless it goes off in San Diego.
McDonalds has been perfecting this for decades. As cars drive by McDonalds there is a certain probability that they are "absorbed" into a drive thru, where they exchange a virtual particle for a mass particle (money for Big Macs). The people in the cars consume the Big Macs, gaining mass, which slows them down, increasing the probability that they are absorbed by a subsequent McDonalds. Eventually, the people in the cars acquire more mass than they can carry. They reach a critical point at which they decay. The strength of the field is described by the density of McDonalds drive thrus along the path that they cars travel.
There are two problems here: Language evolving in such a way as to smooth over or entirely rewrite history; and, language evolving in a such a way as to become ambiguous. Ghod forbid we lose our marklar to marklar, because before we know it, the marklar will marklar all our marklar, and then we will be left with marklar, and spend the rest of our marklar getting marklared up the marklar.
Help fight poverty: Punch a poor person.
When I received your reply, I was surprised that my brain was working in the same manner as Einstein. As such, I've been thinking about this for a while now. The conclusion that I've come to isn't the obvious one that most people would have (that I have heard this quote before, and it somehow made its way into my subconscious). Nope. My conclusion is that I AM AS SMART AS ALBERT EINSTEIN.
My reality is a wonderful reality, care to visit?
And if -- ghod forbid -- we discover a way to make the vacuum unstable, then we might learn how to make one really big boom. Just one, because it will consume the entire universe, but that one will be REALLY BIG.
What do you think happened when the last sentient species figured this out, about.. oh, 13.7 billion years ago..
And the last thing heard in that previous universe was a scientist saying "Hey guys, watch this!"
There is certainly a law of diminishing returns on mass murder, isn't there?
Check out my world simulator thingy.
When I was a youngster at MIT in the early 80s, the Reagan administration came in and shook up research priorities. Suddenly applied researchers who weren't doing military research were looking for jobs, and researchers who were doing military research had to show results or walk.
I was working on a lab that had a DOE grant (energy, not education), and we hired as an engineer a physics researcher who'd lost his ONR grant. We got him and his project, a new, advanced type of electron microscope, which we were using as a spare vacuum tank. "It's those damn ROTC graduates," he said. "Back in the day I'd have told them it was a death ray, but those damn ROTC graduates know damn well the only way you'd ever be able to kill someone with this is drop it on him. 'Deaths per dollar', that's all they want to hear about, 'deaths per dollar.'"
Back at the dorm I mentioned this, and we kicked the 'deaths per dollar' around, trying to come up with various ways of maximizing it. Finally I proposed this scenario. Find a construction site, and root through the dumpster until you find a length of 2x4 three to four feet long. Then walk down the street and when you encountered someone, beat him over the head with your piece of lumber.
"No good," one of the other students said. "You're assuming your time is free."
"Well," I replied, "it *is* a government project."
Post may contain irony: discontinue use if experiencing mood swings, nausea or elevated blood pressure.
My conclusion is that I AM AS SMART AS ALBERT EINSTEIN.
My reality is a wonderful reality, care to visit?
I suspect that if you were subjected to the "Total Perspective Vortex", you would come out feeling pretty good.