Holy iPad Slayer! Company Releases World's First Christian Tablet

Velcroman1 writes "Steve Jobs worshippers need not apply. But if you're looking to get in God's good graces, or you're simply in the market for a family-friendly tablet, you may want to check out Family Christian's Edifi. Billed as the world's first Christian tablet, its genesis came with the inevitable intersection of technology and religion, according to Brian Honorable, a technology supervisor at Family Christian, the group that sells the tablet. 'We wanted to be able to offer our customers the ability to use our Holy Bible application, which has 27 different English translations of the Bible,' Honorable said."

Comments

Pretty sure Moses did it first!

[Anonymous Coward]

Pretty sure Moses did it first!

Re:Pretty sure Moses did it first!

[Monkey-Man2000]

Pretty sure Moses did it first!

and it even had rounded corners!

Re:Pretty sure Moses did it first!

[gewalker]

Just a movie version, not the real thing. The original Mosaical tables may or may not have had rounded corners, but they definitely had the awesome feature of being double-side. I don't know of any tablet device offering this today.

Ex 3515 Then Moses turned and went down from the mountain with the two tablets of the testimony in his hand, tablets that were written on both sides; on the front and on the back they were written.

Must purchase two?

[Anonymous Coward]

Or do all 10 commandments fit on to one tablet this time?

Re:Must purchase two?

[sentientbeing]

Commandments last updated: 6000 B.C. Your commandments are out of date [refresh][cancel]

Re:Must purchase two?

[Anonymous Coward]

Good one. But an utter failure on the date...

Moses led the Israelites out of Egypt in the spring of 1513 B.C.E. on Nisan 14 (the first full moon after the spring equinox). They took a meandering path, and crossed the Red Sea. That took them about 3 weeks. Then they all encamped at Mt. Sinai about 3 months later. It took around a week for Moses to reach the place where God gave him the tablets (with the 10 commandments), and another 40 days passed before the full law had been expounded to Moses. At this point, the Israelites and ex-Egyptians that were encamped at the base of the mountain were in full-on revolt, worshiping a calf idol. God alerted Moses to this, and Moses headed back to the camp (another 1-week journey). Moses then smashed the tablets God had given him and set about disciplining the people for their idolatry. The discipline took a few days to "work out", since he had the golden calf ground to powder and mixed into the water supply. (Result: Gold flecked poop!) Moses then returned to the mountain (another 1-week journey), re-chiseled the tablets himself (that'll teach him to control his temper... or not), finished learning the rest of the law (time not specified), and went back to camp again (1 week again). Then the people were assembled, the law was read to them, and they all agreed to be bound by it.

So... 21 days (pre-Red Sea) + 90 days (3 averaged months) + 7 days (travel time) + 40 days (learning law) + 7 days (travel) + 3 days (gold poop!) + 7 days (travel) + unspecified time (more learning of the law) + 7 days (travel) + unspecified time (assembly) = 182 days + two unspecifed periods. I'd estimate the law was reiterated for a further 40 days, so that brings us to 222 days + assembly time. The assembly probably took about a week. Remember, there were 3 million people in that camp, so the reading would have to be relayed by callers, and then the response would be by the assembly. That's a logistical nightmare. I'll estimate about 60 days for this (remember, it took 40 days for Moses to receive it one-on-one from God in the first place). So it took 282 days (estimated) to deal with all of that. 282 days is just over 10 months, which brings us to around January-February of 1512 B.C.E.

1512 B.C.E. through 1 B.C.E. = 1512 years
1 C.E. through 2012 C.E. = 2012 years
1512 + 2012 = 3524 years.

Then add the 6 months from January to July.

That's still pretty far out of date.

battery can beat up your dad

[TheGratefulNet]

quoting:

"The battery is actually stronger than everybody else out there on the market.â

if we feed the christian pad to a Li-Ion, will the romans return again, do you think?

Re:0_0

[Jeremiah Cornelius]

It has flash, and will show you porn - but only hetero, in the missionary position.

Re:Resistive Touch. Move along.

[narcc]

Capacitive touch screen suck at precision.

Resistive touch screens are awesome for precision. If I wanted a tablet for writing or drawing, I'd be stupid to opt for a capacitive touch screen over a resistive touch screen.

RIM has a patent on a hybrid resistive-capacitive touchscreen, which is really the best of both worlds. Finger fondling capacitive screen, cheap stylus friendly resistive touch screen. The Galaxy Note uses a more feature-rich Wacom digitizer which is awesome. It's a shame that they're the only company that understands how useful a stylus can be on a slab.

To answer Steve Jobs' question, "Who wants a stylus?": just about everybody. (No, those fat fake rubber finger "stylus" things don't count. They don't even come close.)

Specs compared to Nook & Kindle Fire

[MSRedfox]

Here are the specs when compared to the Nook Color, Nook Tablet, and Kindle Fire. https://img.skitch.com/20120622-umkafxaic4gwhdr26samdnd1h.jpg

Will they call their "Walled Garden"...

[otaku244]

"Eden?"