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New Reality Series: Be the Next Microsoft Employee

theodp writes "No, Steve Ballmer doesn't swap spit with contestants in a hot tub. Nor does he present a rose to each contestant he wishes to keep at the end of each episode. But the contestants in Microsoft's Be the Next Microsoft Employee web series, which is being billed as Top Chef for Geeks, do live together in a luxury waterfront home as they compete for the chance to interview for a job with the software giant. So, what's next from Microsoft? The Real Housewives of Medina?"

19 of 168 comments (clear)

  1. O, Hell No! I'm GETTIN that interview! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Any of you skinny bitches stands in my way better be ready for some hair pullin!!

    1. Re:O, Hell No! I'm GETTIN that interview! by binarylarry · · Score: 5, Funny

      So Mr. Anderson, you say you want to work for us. I only have one question:

      How well can you dodge chairs?

      --
      Mod me down, my New Earth Global Warmingist friends!
    2. Re:O, Hell No! I'm GETTIN that interview! by rtfa-troll · · Score: 5, Insightful

      It doesn't matter how well he can dodge chairs; he just has to aim for a team where everybody else is worse at it because Microsoft operates is the type of nightmare employer which operates forced ranking. Also, being with the stupidest people is probably your best chance of getting someone intelligent to teach you something since only the suicidal would teach someone in their own team. Ideally you are looking for a team of stupid people with a recently changed, decent, intelligent manager.

      Having said that, the best thing about winning this would be the pleasure of being able to say "no thanks"

      --
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    3. Re:O, Hell No! I'm GETTIN that interview! by StormReaver · · Score: 5, Interesting

      Having said that, the best thing about winning this would be the pleasure of being able to say "no thanks"

      I got that pleasure in 1999, when I got my degree. Microsoft called my house asking if I would be interested in interviewing, and I got to say, "No, I don't work for evil companies."

      The caller genuinely didn't understand why Microsoft is evil, so I got to tell her she needs to pay more attention. It was quite the pleasant experience. I wish more people could share the experience.

    4. Re:O, Hell No! I'm GETTIN that interview! by Thundaaa+Struk · · Score: 3, Funny

      I hope this show fails....who wants to see grown up IT nerds arguing over whether Windows is better than Linux. Arguments over who stole my limited edition Han Solo figurine......fights breaking out when to many Red Bulls are consumed without a proper meal beforehand. Confessional video sessions that involve crying because they didn't lock their laptop when they went to take their asthma medication and someone went in and changed their background to Hello Kitty. The season ender would involve controversy when someones computers get hit by a zero day vulnerability because they didn't have to time to download 1.5GB of updates that Microsoft had recently pushed out on Patch Tuesday.

  2. And coming up next year by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Season two will be titled "Be the last Microsoft employee"

  3. Really??? by Peristaltic · · Score: 5, Funny

    They're going to live together in a luxury waterfront home as they compete for the chance to interview for Microsoft?

    I'd rather compete for a chance at North Korean citizenship.

    1. Re:Really??? by John+Wagger · · Score: 3, Interesting

      Unless you're from US or South Korea, North Korean citizenship is quite easy to obtain.

    2. Re:Really??? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Insightful

      or electricity. or to eat.

    3. Re:Really??? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

      ... or to eat.

      That's the theme of the North Korean game show "Meal or No Meal".

  4. Or... by maxsthekat · · Score: 5, Interesting

    You could just go to a college career fair, like I did, put in your resume, interview, and get hired. There was really nothing magical about it-- just another interview. For what it's worth: they were a great college internship, too-- paid very well, and the work was fairly challenging.

  5. Spoiler alert by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Episode 3 will feature the chair throwing contest, Episode 4 the run-around-the-stage-like-you-just-snorted-two-lines-of-coke, the final episode will have the remaining contestants try to convince the audience why they prefer the Metro interface on their 3-monitor setup over the regular desktop; the only rule is that they're not allowed to laugh.

  6. interview for a job by cpu6502 · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Whoop-tee-do. I could do that without having to compete in a reality series. Just send a flowery resume to land the interview.

    This would be more impressive if they were placed as Interns *inside* Microsoft, and competing to impress the boss to be hired permanently.

    --
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    1. Re:interview for a job by jhol13 · · Score: 3, Informative

      I think the point is to get into the reality show. Seems that this alone is good enough for some, to become "famous".

      This would be most impressive if they were inside Microsoft competing to get out.

  7. Ballmer fails again... by korgitser · · Score: 4, Insightful

    ...has tried to make microsoft look sexy for how long? And how come he always tries to do it with stuff over a hundred years old. First he was selling Vista with Seinfeld. And now this. Reality TV must be older than ms-dos 6.0! Who even watches that crap anymore? Certainly not young programmers. This guy wouldn't know sexy if it hit him on the head with a chair. Face it, there is nothing cool about the legacy wintel platform and the company associated with it. Pack your bags and move along.

    And don't let me get started on the fact that nobody in their right mind would ever hire the kind of people who go on reality TV shows.

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    FCKGW 09F9 42
  8. Re:Wow... what a lousy prize! by HarrySquatter · · Score: 4, Informative

    No, they get a job. The 'chance to interview' was made up by the submitter.

  9. Re:So unfair by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Windowless cubicle at Microsoft?

    That's too bad. I can't believe they make you run DOS!

  10. And the theme song is... by Howard+Beale · · Score: 3, Funny

    Steve, Steve
    Steve of the Ballmer,
    A guy who has no hair.
    (Ahhhhhhhh)
    Watch out for that chair.

    Steve, Steve
    Steve of the Ballmer,
    Lives a life that's free.
    (Ahhhhhhhh)
    Watch out for that chair.

    When he gets in a scrape,
    he makes his escape
    with the help of his friend,
    a guy named Bill.
    Then away he'll schlep
    on his elephant Shep
    While Fella and Ursula
    Stay in step.

    Well....Steve, Steve
    Steve of the Ballmer,
    Friend to you and me.

    Watch out for that chair.

  11. Stack Ranking by Dartz-IRL · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Contestants rate each other on tasks, filling mandatory slots from most valuable to least valuable, with the bottom 10% being fired Backstabbing and politcking ensue between the contestants as they fight tooth and nail not to be dumped down the bottom, while forgetting entirely about the task at hand and just half-assing it finished.

    Perfectly preparing them for the working environment at MS...

    --
    So there I was, scribbling down some notes off the PC screen by hand, when I reached for the keyboard and Ctrl-S'd.