Slashdot Mirror
Stolen Maple Syrup Found and Returned To Strategic Reserve
First time accepted submitter bmxeroh writes "Remember the tragic maple syrup heist? Police have seized more than 600 barrels of maple syrup they say are related to the missing syrup. It was transported back to Quebec via a 16 tractor trailer, heavily guarded (and presumably heavily armed) convoy Wednesday."
Someone came to a sticky end :)
Build a Man a Fire, and He'll Be Warm for a Day. Set a Man on Fire, and He'll Be Warm for the Rest of His Life.
So far, the only significant bit of evidence found at the scene where these barrels were retrieved was the cryptic phrase B. Worth, written in syrup on the floor.
This space unintentionally left blank.
Thank God! This could have turned into a real sticky situation!
Did they test it for poison, or did they just put it back in the reserve without testing? There was no chain of custody during the time it was missing, after all.
Bacon Shortage. Stolen Maple Syrup. Clearly there is an international threat to our wholesome breakfast way of life. But where to the Presidential Candidates stand on this issue? Clearly the moderator dropped the ball by not bringing up this vital issue of world peace and security during the debate.
Schroedinger's Brexit: The UK is both in and out of the EU at the same time!
Yes, but since everybody expecty syrup just to stick around nobody really thinks that those trucks are actually nicking syrup. Somebody is bound to have the paperwork so no need to be nosy. Diamonds, yes. Syrup? How do you fence stuff like that? It leaves quite a bit of a trail if the barrels leak. Also ants could be a problem.
Diamonds! That's where it's at!
20 minutes into the future
I'm from Europe and I don't really get why a strategic reserve of maple syrup is needed... Do you plan on living on maple syrup in case of a nuclear holocaust?
Won't somebody think of the saplings!
Yes.
Understanding the scope of the problem is the first step on the path to true panic.
Easy to like anything more than most people when you don't like people.
I just don't understand why some people assume that because a story isn't interesting to them, it's not slashdot worthy.
Here's a hint, if you see the summary and it doesn't interest you, skip over it. I do it all the time, probably only making it to the comment section on 10-20% of the articles.
"Action without philosophy is a lethal weapon; philosophy without action is worthless."
Our military expenditures are a tiny fraction of our Southern neighbor's
Less likely to carry guns
Have better healthcare and are therefore more relaxed
We emphasize coordination and and compassion and getting along at the U.N.
Our labor rights are more sound, so we're less agitated
Our commitment to education is high, we see ways to resolve conflict in wise ways rather than brutal vicious ways
We're polite to a fault, we stop our cars in the street so you can cross, we let you go first in line if we both arrive at the same time, and we express in low tones the thinking behind our disagreements
BUT DON'T YOU MOTHERFUCKERS EVER FUCKING MESS WITH OUR MOTHERFUCKING MAPLE SYRUP
intellectual property law is philosophically incoherent. it is your moral duty to ignore it or sabotage it
It was the corn industry: "We secretly replaced Canada's maple syrup with High Fructose Corn Syrup, artificial maple flavor, and food coloring. Let's see if anyone can tell the difference"
Any insufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from technology.
Pretty much every supermarket I've been to in several different parts of the US has had a couple real maple syrup options on the shelf. Even places like Costco seem to frequently carry it. It definitely costs more, but doesn't seem that expensive or hard to find in the US and Canada at least. Now if you are trying to track down different, specific grades of maple syrup, it can be hard depending on where you live.
of how 600 barrels of Maple Syrup and some poor convoy with a brand new Garmin learned the difference between Ontario, Canada and Ontario, California.
Good people go to bed earlier.
Barrels man, BARRELS!! Yo momma's so fat, she stole THIRTY THREE THOUSAND gallons of syrup just to get through breakfast!
+1 Disagree
Did you know that there is practically *never* a reliable chain of custody on the tin foil you buy from the grocery store? Did you know that it's not even made of tin anymore! How can you trust your hat when the strategic tin foil reserves are filled with product from untrusted sources!?!
+1 Disagree