Stolen Maple Syrup Found and Returned To Strategic Reserve

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Stolen Maple Syrup Found and Returned To Strategic Reserve

Posted by samzenpus on Thursday October 4, 2012 @08:06PM from the pancakes-for-everyone dept.

First time accepted submitter bmxeroh writes "Remember the tragic maple syrup heist? Police have seized more than 600 barrels of maple syrup they say are related to the missing syrup. It was transported back to Quebec via a 16 tractor trailer, heavily guarded (and presumably heavily armed) convoy Wednesday."

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Sounds like by Big+Hairy+Ian · 2012-10-04 20:09 · Score: 5, Funny

Someone came to a sticky end :)

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1. Re:Sounds like by maroberts · 2012-10-04 21:47 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  The cops are no doubt celebrating the sweet smell of success - with pancakes for breakfast....
  
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A Lead on the Culprit by Scarletdown · 2012-10-04 20:10 · Score: 5, Funny

So far, the only significant bit of evidence found at the scene where these barrels were retrieved was the cryptic phrase B. Worth, written in syrup on the floor.

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1. Re:A Lead on the Culprit by shentino · 2012-10-04 23:39 · Score: 4, Interesting
  
  Are they sure that the syrup they're returning hasn't been contaminated?
  Stealing something and then making it easy to recover seems to be a perfect trojan horse.
THANK GOD by Anonymous Coward · 2012-10-04 20:22 · Score: 4, Funny

Thank God! This could have turned into a real sticky situation!
Did they test it for poison? by tlambert · 2012-10-04 20:24 · Score: 5, Insightful

Did they test it for poison, or did they just put it back in the reserve without testing? There was no chain of custody during the time it was missing, after all.
Where do the Presidential Candidates stand? by PolygamousRanchKid+ · 2012-10-04 20:46 · Score: 4, Funny

Bacon Shortage. Stolen Maple Syrup. Clearly there is an international threat to our wholesome breakfast way of life. But where to the Presidential Candidates stand on this issue? Clearly the moderator dropped the ball by not bringing up this vital issue of world peace and security during the debate.

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1. Re:Where do the Presidential Candidates stand? by MysteriousPreacher · 2012-10-04 22:38 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  Bacon Shortage. Stolen Maple Syrup. Clearly there is an international threat to our wholesome breakfast way of life. But where to the Presidential Candidates stand on this issue? Clearly the moderator dropped the ball by not bringing up this vital issue of world peace and security during the debate.
  It is a serious issue that threatens to rend the social fabric of society. Women make breakfast for men. That's as traditional as church on Sunday, Real Marriage, and meth-fuelled sex with male prostitutes - all cornerstones of the Republican Party, and what made America great.
  What do women do when there's no breakfast to make? Right, they get ideas! Can you imagine a world in which men, weakened by a lack of bacon and maple syrup, lose control over women? A world where women are free to use their in-built pregnancy prevention mechanism, not only to protect themselves from impregnation during rape, but also during normal marital sex? Obama can, and with another term that's exactly where he'll bring America. Romney for traditional values. The black guy for feminazis, socialism, and failing to keep open factories that had already been closed under Bush.
  P Ryan.
  (Borrowing my friend's account.)
  
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  -- Using the preview button since 2005
2. Re:Where do the Presidential Candidates stand? by bluefoxlucid · 2012-10-05 00:42 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  You use raspberry to jam radar.
  
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3. Re:Where do the Presidential Candidates stand? by theycallmeB · 2012-10-05 05:37 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  The first debate was supposed to be about domestic concerns. The bacon shortage news originated in Europe, and this maple syrup caper is a product of Canada (also, by the by, a leading exporter of frozen waffles), so you will have to wait until the foreign policy debate to find out where the candidates sit on breakfast table issues.
Re:I just don't understand.. by bfandreas · 2012-10-04 20:52 · Score: 5, Funny

Yes, but since everybody expecty syrup just to stick around nobody really thinks that those trucks are actually nicking syrup. Somebody is bound to have the paperwork so no need to be nosy. Diamonds, yes. Syrup? How do you fence stuff like that? It leaves quite a bit of a trail if the barrels leak. Also ants could be a problem.
Diamonds! That's where it's at!

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20 minutes into the future
Sorry but... by xded · 2012-10-04 20:53 · Score: 4, Interesting

I'm from Europe and I don't really get why a strategic reserve of maple syrup is needed... Do you plan on living on maple syrup in case of a nuclear holocaust?
1. Re:Sorry but... by Anonymous Coward · 2012-10-04 21:03 · Score: 5, Insightful
  
  I'm from Europe too, but I can Google: http://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2012/09/why-does-canada-have-a-strategic-maple-syrup-reserve/261869/
2. Re:Sorry but... by Anonymous Coward · 2012-10-04 21:42 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  I'm from Africa, but I can make a clickable link ;)
  Thanks for the article, btw. It answers the question quite nicely.
3. Re:Sorry but... by necro81 · 2012-10-04 23:13 · Score: 5, Informative
  
  I'm from Europe and I don't really get why a strategic reserve of maple syrup is needed
  For the same reasons you stockpile any commodity: it makes you less susceptible to price swings in the marketplace. When prices are low, Quebecois producers can have the reserve buy up excess inventory, then later sell it when prices rise, to protect consumers. The U.S. has strategic reserves of oil, corn, and wheat for similar reasons. Like all complex systems, it helps to have some capacitance to buffer transients.
4. Re:Sorry but... by WolfWithoutAClause · 2012-10-04 23:38 · Score: 4, Insightful
  
  Stockpiles don't create scarcity, they help avoid scarcity; it brings the price down in poor years, and push it up in good years.
  Only if they were systematically destroying maple syrup would it create scarcity.
  
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  -WolfWithoutAClause
  "Gravity is only a theory, not a fact!"
5. Re:Sorry but... by sootman · 2012-10-05 02:13 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  I'm from America. Can someone click that link for me and tell me what it says?
  
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Re:News for nerds? by jamstar7 · 2012-10-04 21:27 · Score: 5, Informative

Yes.

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Re:News for nerds? by makapuf · 2012-10-04 23:22 · Score: 5, Insightful

Easy to like anything more than most people when you don't like people.
Hello, we're Canadians by circletimessquare · 2012-10-05 01:15 · Score: 4, Funny

Our military expenditures are a tiny fraction of our Southern neighbor's
Less likely to carry guns
Have better healthcare and are therefore more relaxed
We emphasize coordination and and compassion and getting along at the U.N.
Our labor rights are more sound, so we're less agitated
Our commitment to education is high, we see ways to resolve conflict in wise ways rather than brutal vicious ways
We're polite to a fault, we stop our cars in the street so you can cross, we let you go first in line if we both arrive at the same time, and we express in low tones the thinking behind our disagreements
BUT DON'T YOU MOTHERFUCKERS EVER FUCKING MESS WITH OUR MOTHERFUCKING MAPLE SYRUP

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intellectual property law is philosophically incoherent. it is your moral duty to ignore it or sabotage it
1. Re:Hello, we're Canadians by circletimessquare · 2012-10-05 05:43 · Score: 4, Insightful
  
  There are plenty of problems with Canadian healthcare. And you will find that not in a billion years will a single Canadian prefer our broken dysfunctional wasteful system over theirs.
  What the USA excels in is critical care: when you have the heart attack. Why? Because IT MAKES MONEY. What is there no money in? Preventive care. Because it's cheap. You also live longer.
  Wouldn't you prefer to prevent the heart attack for $100 than maybe live through the heart attack for $100,000? Well guess what: your stupid healthcare system doesn't agree with you. It is made so some asshole CEO can sit on a gold toilet, it's not made so you actually live a longer healthier life and spend far less on your healthcare.
  Because some complete fucking retards in this country actually believe the profit principle has a place in a healthcare system. What is the system for? Your health? Or a shareholder? Why the fuck do so many ignorant fucking Americans not see the problem therein? You can't have both. No really: you cannot have a system to maximize profit, and a system that maximizes your health, at the same time. Those two goals are diametrically opposed to each other. But the cult of the unicorns and rainbows free market fundamentalism is so strong in this stupid fucking country common sense does not prevail.
  Oh and "FREEDOM!" As in FREEDUMB: people who believe freedom means freedom from responsibility. "How dare you make me buy health insurance!" (And then they break their arm and avoid the bill because they can't afford it: freeloading, irresponsible ignorant assholes.)
  You can make giant volumes of the problems in the Canadian healthcare system. In Great Britain. In France. In all of our economic peers on the world stage. And none of them, not a single citizen of those countries, with all of the problems in their health systems, would change it for the far, far worse system we have here. Go ahead, ask your friend. They look on our "healthcare" system with a mix of revulsion and disgust. Because our system is far far far more expensive, and we live shorter lives, because our system is made to profit off the attempt to MAYBE you save you from the heart attack, while the other systems are made to save the country, and you, money, by preventing you from getting the heart attack in the first place with screenings and cheap drugs (as opposed to expensive drugs with marketing campaigns and fashion model sales reps visiting doctors offices to get them push that instead).
  A healthcare system doesn't mean a fucking thing if you can't afford it.
  It blows my mind how Americans can be so utterly propagandized and so fucking retarded on how they are being shafted by paying so much and living shorter unhealthier lives. Oh but "EVIL SOCIALISM WHARGGARBBLBBLLE." Good for you retard, you hate the word "socialism." Now live a shorter life and pay a heck of a lot more for your healthcare, you dumb ignorant moron afraid of a silly word. That asshole CEO getting paid by policies that trade your lifeblood for his gold toilet thanks you.
  Wake the fuck up America.
  http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20121003/REVIEWS/121009995
  
  --
  intellectual property law is philosophically incoherent. it is your moral duty to ignore it or sabotage it
Re:Carmel Colored Corn Syrup... by jd2112 · 2012-10-05 01:24 · Score: 5, Funny

It was the corn industry: "We secretly replaced Canada's maple syrup with High Fructose Corn Syrup, artificial maple flavor, and food coloring. Let's see if anyone can tell the difference"

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