Slashdot Mirror
How Do You Eat a Triceratops? Start By Ripping the Head Off
scibri writes "Once a Tyrannosaurus took down a Triceratops, how did it go about eating it? By looking at the bite marks on Triceratops fossils, a group of paleontologists have pieced together the steps, and created an illustrated guide. Step one? Pull off the head."
Sounds like an afternoon on bath salts.
MMMmh ughgh oooo eees szzze !!
... the "gummy bear" of dinosaurs.
First shoot it with a .458 magnum several times (An elephant gun to those who don't know calibers and it's has MUCH more of a punch than a .50 caliber. A 20mm cannon would be better, but I have yet to see a rifle for that.), start a bonfire (you're NOT going to butcher the beast! IT's too big), and then when it's done, take a machete and hack off chunks.
Step four: feast on the delicacies beneath the frill.
I am so making a T-shirt with these pictures and captions.
Time to offend someone
Step one: get a good grip on the neck frill.
Geez, come on.
The end that's closer to your mouth!
Pinch the tail ...
Just like crawdads!
After tearing the head off, how much salt did the tyrannosaurus use to make it edible?
The Oatmeal should have been all over this guide like...well, like a T-rex on a Triceratops.
"Once a Tyrannosaurus took down a Triceratops, how did it go about eating it?"
I thought T-Rex was downgraded from a hunter/killer to a carcass plundering carrion eater, like a buzzard. Besides, didn't these Triceratopses have soft underbellies and such? Seems to me that the neck and face bits would be the LAST to go, not the first.
When our name is on the back of your car, we're behind you all the way!
This story.
And what if the T-Rex is left-handed? How is he going to operate the bolt mechanism? It's not like specialty rifles tend to cater for physiological minorities.
Ezekiel 23:20
I can't help but feel like this article should have been an "Ask Slashdot." Inquiring Cretacious minds want to know....
It all seems familiar somehow.
Step one: "Removing the head, or destroying the brain..."
Let me guess, step two is: "You've got red on you.",
and step three involves being "a bit bite-y."
If that T-Rex is wielding a cricket bat it's proof what killed off the dinosaurs wasn't the asteroid -- It was the Zombies it caused.
Isn't this part of the Lake Wobegon effect? - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lake_Wobegon_effect
It sure does sound like so.
"Once a Tyrannosaurus took down a Triceratops, how did it go about eating it?"
Any way it wanted to, of course.
I can just picture Miss manners telling it to place a napkin on it's lap and which fork to use...
Then becoming one of the hors d'oeuvres
"Theirs was the immortal battle"
I know what you did last summer. Just kidding, I don't work at the NSA.
- Primordial Bath Salts
Forward! -- Emperor Norton, 2012
Triceratops... It's what's for dinner!
I grab the triceatops by the hind legs, flip it on its back and rub its belly. This puts it in a trance and then its helpless
Bon Apetite.
Have gnu, will travel.
5000 ft lbf of energy is "much more" than 13000 ft lbf? since when?
The hecate is a 20mm sniper/anti-material rifle.
damn it. That article isn't about the 20mm version.
It's like the elephant joke...
How do you eat an elephant?
One bite at a time...
Wouldn't it remove the feathers first? Aren't dinosaurs supposed to be all feathered now?
If you can afford a specialty hunting rifle, you can probably afford to have one made or modified for a left handed grip.
[Fuck Beta]
o0t!
First you have to find the cloaca. It's probably under the tail about here somewhere. Next, you want to get your tongue in there; a triceratops is pretty big, so you might have to use your whole face. Don't be afraid to get a little creative, because the triceratops will appreciate it. Paleontologists are unsure where the triceratops cli... Wait, you didn't say "How do you eat out a triceratops?" Uh, nevermind...
Why didn't T. Rex just use it's hands to pull the head off? Oh wait.
The only thing worse than a Democrat is a Republican.
Why do the French need such a powerful gun to surrender?
Gamingmuseum.com: Give your 3D accelerator a rest.
Maybe he means the .500 S&W Magnum, and not the .50 BMG... The former has started to be used in rifles, and it's a lot more comparable (both are 300-500 GR, versus the .50's 650-800). Still, ".50 caliber rifle" should imply .50 BMG, and you're right on the money with that being no contest.
fnar, fnar
After suffering through so many useless science and technological news stories, Slashdot has finally posted something of practical use for its readers.
Signed,
A Tyrannosaurus Rex
White? Red? Or would you serve it with some fava beans and a fine chianti?
How come Slashdot never gets Slashdotted?
No, more of a Jurassic Pinata.
While it is an interesting "story", this is not science. Every man and his dog can look at marks on a rock you pick up from the street on your way to work, and tell you "the history of it", the hypothesis of how it acquired the marks, etc. It will be an interesting story, but it is not science.
Why? Because there is no way to test that hypothesis. There is no way to test whether these assertions are true.
So while interesting, it just remains as stories. Plausible stories perhaps, but nothing more.
Surrender is safest and easiest when the enemy is dead.
The enemies of Democracy are
/ that's all I got...
I've lost all my marbles except one & It's fun to test angular & centripetal acceleration in my skull
Hot sauce or garlic butter?
If the flavor is kind of just "meh", you break out the pepper sauce. If the taste is *nasty* you go for the garlic butter.
Post may contain irony: discontinue use if experiencing mood swings, nausea or elevated blood pressure.
Doesn't matter. Have you seen those tiny arms? T Rex will never be able to shoot straight.
If absolute power corrupts absolutely, what does this say about renewable power?
Incorrect. Hypotheses about behavior inspired by review of any set of fossil evidence, like the one here, will produce predictions about what can expect to be found (and, more important, about what would not be expected to be found) in other fossil evidence not in the examined set on which the hypothesis was based. This provides a route to falsification of exactly the type seen everywhere else in empirical science.
You can't directly observe the hypothesized behavior, but that's typical of scientific models -- what you can do is validate whether future observations match or conflict with what you would expect to be true if the hypothesis drawn from current observations were correct.
Actually, when I eat gummi bears, I usually eat the legs first, then the arms, then head, leaving the torso for last. Yes, I like my gummi bears to suffer and probably need some professional help.
The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for it to be pitted against a slightly greater evil
one of those new Iranian 14.5mm sniper rifles would do nicely, assuming they don't blow apart when fired and they actually exist, rather than being some more iranian photoshop derived weapons
Snowden and Manning are heroes.
Have you seen those tiny arms? T Rex will never be able to shoot straight.
He can with science!
"I'm not sure I like the fugnutish tone you used in your post!" -RogL (608926)-
I was getting tired of turkey anyways...
First shoot it with a .458 magnum several times (An elephant gun to those who don't know calibers and it's has MUCH more of a punch than a .50 caliber. A 20mm cannon would be better, but I have yet to see a rifle for that.), start a bonfire (you're NOT going to butcher the beast! IT's too big), and then when it's done, take a machete and hack off chunks.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/.950_JDJ
http://i.imgur.com/CsCxz.jpg
Is there a consensus dinosaurs ever existed? Many paleontologists seem to be full of their own speculative crap.
Wait...
There are people who eat gummy bears one at a time (as opposed to just tossing handfuls of them into your gaping maw)?
Huh. I learn somethin' new every day. Thanks, Slashdot.
Cut that out, or I will ship you to Norilsk in a box.
A very clumsy 69?
Yes. It might be a shock to you, but some of us aren't fat asses.
If dinosaur brains were par for retarded chickens, then removing the (hard to get at) head might still leave the hindbrain running around with the much more yummy rest. If the crest wre really blood-filled, mauling it might cause fainting from blood-loss and hypotheria - thoiugh Dame Nature probably had emergency reactions for such situations. Cracking the hindbrain first - like big cats "do" - would make much more sense. Then bite off enough from the rear to quickly bleed it to death. Besides, triceratops didn't have armored underbellies, did they? Remember. A wounded predator, is often a dead predator.
Trilobite! Trilobites! Betcha can't eat the heads!
If you eat a triceratops when you first wake up... nothing worse will happen to you all day, unless later on in the day the Earth is struck by a giant meteor, ultimately wiping out every species with a mean adult body weight over 25 pounds.
Incidentally, if you can eat a triceratops, you probably fall in this category.
Iranian weapons are funny
http://stuff.rubypanther.com/images/Iran-Army-Day.jpg
How the hell is this on /.??
It's common knowledge that the military equipment preferred by Tyranosaurs is the F-14 Tomcat. Soooooo cool!
One tactic T-rex might have used is the same as the giant lizard (komodo dragon), it rushes the prey, takes one septic bite, then trails the enemy till it dies.
The hyena was considered a carrior eater but makes more kills then the lion who was considered a predator.
And considering build, the Hyena seems closer to the T-rex then a buzzard. Powerful jaw and neck muscles that can deliver a massive traumatic bite to anything living or dead.
MMO Quests are like orgasms:
You may solo them, I prefer them in a group.
Doesn't matter. Have you seen those tiny arms? T Rex will never be able to shoot straight.
Exactly
Are you a grammar Nazi? I'm trying to improve my English; please correct my errors!
Actually, personally, I don't eat gummi bears at all. I've never cared for them.
(This does not stop me from getting fat eating other foods, of course...)
Cut that out, or I will ship you to Norilsk in a box.
Well, since I really only like the green and red ones, I pretty much have to eat them singularly, or at most 2-3 at a time.
The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for it to be pitted against a slightly greater evil
This makes no sense, why would you start with the head, it's an animal that's in your diet you would know that the head and accompanying plate is the hardest part of the animal. When a lion kills a gazelle or zebra it doesn't start eating the head, it goes for the tender gut where there are fewer bones and more meat. They also don't start eating the animal until it's dead, it's just too dangerous for them to start chomping away. They will bite the neck to suffocate the animal. Perhaps these people are mistaking that type behavior in trex. I could see a trex biting down on a tyrannosaur neck to suffocate it before it started gobbling up the middle part. It would also not go for the head because there would be competition, it wouldn't take long before other dynos appeared at the buffet, this would be more reason for it to start with the tender guts, it could eat more before others showed up.
I am Bennett Haselton! I am Bennett Haselton!