Amazon Patents the Milkman

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Posted by Soulskill on Friday February 8, 2013 @07:26AM from the ice-delivery-men-jealous dept.

theodp writes "Got Milk? Got Milk Delivery Patent? Perhaps unfamiliar with the concept of the Milkman, the USPTO has granted Amazon.com a patent for the Recurring Delivery of Products , an idea five Amazon inventors came up with to let customers schedule product deliveries to their doorsteps or mailboxes on a recurring basis, without needing to submit a new order every time. 'For instance,' the filing explains, 'a customer may request delivery of one bunch of bananas every week and two gallons of milk every two weeks.'"

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It's official by bobthesungeek76036 · 2013-02-08 07:30 · Score: 3, Funny

The USPTO has no signs of life...

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1. Re:It's official by Camaro · 2013-02-08 07:42 · Score: 1, Funny
  
  I love pasta. May I license your patent?
2. Re:It's official by MickyTheIdiot · 2013-02-08 07:46 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  No.. but add "...on a computer" on the end of it and it's your innovation.
3. Re:It's official by Anonymous Coward · 2013-02-08 08:11 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  Does that mean anyone who writes spaghetti code will now owe royalties to him? Entry level programmers, and the companies that hire them, will be bankrupt within a day.
4. Re:It's official by Qzukk · 2013-02-08 08:50 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  it's not really like a milkman, or even how a milkman operated
  I was a milkman once, let me tell you it was a tough job. I had no idea what my customers wanted, when they wanted it, or hell, I didn't even know where they lived, I just wandered around town until I ran out of gas then dumped the whole load of milk in the ditch and walked home.
  Just think, if only someone had invented a way to keep a list of people, what they wanted, when they wanted it and where they wanted me to drop it off, I might have been able to keep my job a second day!
  
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This is actually pretty useful... by AcquaCow · 2013-02-08 07:38 · Score: 4, Funny

...I use it so that I get a new pack of socks every 6 months...
Nothing better than coming home from work to a fresh package of socks!
ERMAGHERD SCHOCKS!

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How many amazon inventors does it take... by Dancindan84 · 2013-02-08 07:40 · Score: 5, Funny

How many amazon inventors does it take to screw in a light bulb? No one knows, but it takes 5 to figure out how to automatically send you a new one every 6 months.

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"Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much." - Oscar Wilde
Re:Really??? by CanHasDIY · 2013-02-08 07:51 · Score: 5, Funny

"... an idea five Amazon inventors came up with ..."
It took five of them to come up with this brilliance??? Amazon must have some stellar intellects...
On the other hand, it does open up a new avenue for the old joke setup;
How many Amazon inventors does it take...
- to screw in a lightbulb?
5 - one to screw it in, one to file a patent on the process of rotating an object until it is seated in a socket, and 3 more to pat each other on the back.

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Re:Hmmm ... by gstoddart · 2013-02-08 07:56 · Score: 1, Funny

Wow, sorry to hear you need diapers, but glad you have the courage to admit it. ;-)
But seriously, automated, recurring delivery is decades old, possibly more. How this could even be patented is beyond me.

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Jeff Bezos IS A GENIUS... by Assmasher · 2013-02-08 07:59 · Score: 3, Funny

...his ACTUAL goal is to have software patents abolished entirely - while simultaneously protecting his company from others who patent things out of greed and avarice.
This explains why he continually patents the most ridiculously obvious things - it's an effort to eventually (so he hopes) get the non-technical world to realize how absolutely f***ing stupid the software patent system is. Sadly, he appears to think that his efforts need to be even more obvious; ergo, the latest patent.
I'm telling you - GENIUS...
BTW - On a serious note, I'd be embarrassed as an engineer to have my name as 'inventor' on a patent so blatantly f***ing stupid.

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Re:Really??? by CanHasDIY · 2013-02-08 08:34 · Score: 5, Funny

Why did the 5 Amazon inventors cross the road?
To slap the chicken with a lawsuit for not purchasing a license to their method of relocating livestock from one side of a tarmac surface to the other via bipedal forward kinetics patent

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An enigma, wrapped in a riddle, shrouded in bacon and cheese
Re:Way to go, patenting the fucking obvious by Altus · 2013-02-08 08:45 · Score: 4, Funny

You don't get it man... they are doing it on the internet

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Re:Way to go, patenting the fucking obvious by Luckyo · 2013-02-08 09:27 · Score: 3, Funny

If they have indeed invented a way to ship items on the internet, rather then on delivery vans, I think they deserve the patent! :D
Re:Way to go, patenting the fucking obvious by sycodon · 2013-02-08 09:28 · Score: 4, Funny

It's clear we don't having any budding Einsteins at the USPTO office.

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