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Reasons You're Not Getting Interviews; Plus Some Crazy Real Resume Mistakes

Posted by Slashdot on from the don't-sign-your-cover-letter-in-blood dept.

Yvonne Lee, Community Manager at Dice.com writes, "Not using standard job titles, not tying your work to real business results and not using the right keywords can mean never getting called for an interview, even if you have the right skills to do the job. I once heard advice to use the exact wording found in the ad when placing your keywords. I think you're even more unlikely to get a job if you do some of the things on this list."

20 of 246 comments (clear)

  1. LMFTFY by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Yvonne Lee, Toolbag Mouthpiece at Dice.com writes, "Using a thinly veiled facade to make yourself appear to be a PR authority figure, not tying your true intent to forced Slashdot stories and not letting the site continue on as it was can mean the systematic destruction of the very asset you paid good money for, even if you thought you have the right skills to do the job. I once heard advice to let the editors decide what is newsworthy and what is not. I think you're even more unlikely to get a return on your investment if you do exactly what I'm doing right now."

    1. Re:LMFTFY by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Informative

      What she really thinks she's doing: "Using job and industry news to increase user stickiness, SEO performance and conversion into jobs database". I wonder how that's working out?

    2. Re:LMFTFY by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Insightful

      What she really thinks she's doing: "Using job and industry news to increase user stickiness, SEO performance and conversion into jobs database". I wonder how that's working out?

      Not going to touch "increase user stickiness" with a ten foot pole.

      What's depressing is that she's been at this shit for 10 years, and her top accomplishments are things like, "simultaneously managed two magazine sections and a web publication."

      The problem with all these stories on how to write your resume is that they're written by people who are fundamentally useless and are stuck writing puff pieces and managing someone's twitter account.

    3. Re:LMFTFY by mindwhip · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Not for very much longer if this spam continues. I've been reading /. for much longer than my userid would indicate (just never got around to registering) but I'm seriously considering removing it from my home tabs and looking elsewhere for news for nerds that is actually news and stuff that actually matters and not this crap.

      --
      [The Universe] has gone offline.
    4. Re:LMFTFY by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Insightful

      You'll continue to open a new tab and type in "slashdot.org" when you're bored, completely out of muscle memory. I swore this site off back when Geeknet was screwing it up and it didn't work; now that Dice is screwing it up and I'm still here, I'm not going to bother with "I'll never come here again if you don't stop being terrible" threats that, realistically, I'm just not going to follow through on.

  2. HWGA by drcheap · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Yup...here we go again.

    F U dice.com, F U.

    1. Re:HWGA by erikkemperman · · Score: 5, Funny

      Seconded.

      Still, may as well try to make the best of it. Joey Coumeau wrote some pretty funny job applications:

      http://www.asofterworld.com/oqarchive.php

      --
      Gosh, thanks. That must be why the other ships call me Meatfucker -- GCU Grey Area (Eccentric)
    2. Re:HWGA by SomePgmr · · Score: 5, Funny

      Right now there's a slashdot editor yelling across the office, "See? I tried to tell you this was a bad idea."

    3. Re:HWGA by dubbreak · · Score: 5, Insightful

      That actually made me laugh out loud. The sad thing is that most likely reflects reality.

      You have got to be pretty out of touch to think doing that is a good idea. It's not one of those things that "looks good on paper" then takes a nose dive. It was a bad call from the get go.

      Of course it could be worse. Every front page story could be a shoddy summary and link to a Dice.com "article". Personally I'm still reeling over the How to use a Linux Virtual Private Server "article". What's worse is they moved the "article" from Dice.com to slashdot itself to, I dunno, give it more credibility?

      "Hey, this old fluff piece we wrote has something about Linux! We should post a story about it!"

      "Shoot, they didn't like that it's a Dice.com article"

      "I KNOW.. we'll move it to the slashdot domain.. that way it'll be credible!!!"
      "Awesome idea!!!"
      *back pats all around*

      --
      "If you are going through hell, keep going." - Winston Churchill
  3. Again? by olip85 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Another link to dice.com? That must be a great site! No time to comment! I'm heading over there RIGHT NOW!!

    1. Re:Again? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      I know what you're thinking, and they don't sell actual dice.

  4. It All Started Last Year ... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    CEO of Dice: How can we make ourselves appear to be an authority figure on hiring.
    Yvonne Lee: Well, really all you need is eyeballs that people will automatically use to read whatever you put in front of them.
    CEO of Dice: Yes, but how do we do that?
    Yvonne Lee: Um, you could purchase a tech blog site like Slashdot.org.
    CEO of Dice: "Slashdot"? Sounds violent ... would that work?
    Yvonne Lee: Yes, everything that goes up on there is widely regarded as fact by millions of idiots every day.
    CEO of Dice: Very well, one slash dot dot org, please! *holds up $137 in small bills and drops some change on the table*

  5. Dice.com by Swampash · · Score: 5, Funny

    After study a couple of of the weblog posts on your internet site now, and I genuinely like your way of blogging. I bookmarked it to my bookmark web site list and will probably be checking back soon. I certainly will be recommend dice.com to all friends and good family.

    News for nerds, stuff that matters.

  6. Can someone point me in the right direction? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    I need to know where /. moved to. I didn't realize this url was now the Dice.com blog.

  7. Re:Why the Dice.com hate? by CanHasDIY · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Not that I'm in the job market or even looking, but it didn't take long to figure out people hate these guys. Just wondering why.

    Because we come here to read the news, not to have some parent-company advertisement misrepresented to us as if it were news.

    CmdrTaco knew his audience; /.'s new masters at Dice.com don't seem to have figured it out quite yet.

    --
    An enigma, wrapped in a riddle, shrouded in bacon and cheese
  8. This is anti-productive. by digitalvengeance · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Prior to the recent rash of Dice.com slashvertisements, I held a very positive opinion of both Dice.com and Slashdot. With each new thinly veiled attempt to drive traffic to Dice, I lose a little bit of respect for each.

    If Dice wants to put ads on slashdot, just put ads on slashdot. Stop running fake stories that just diminish a site that has spent a long time earning a loyal following.

    --
    How many roads must a man walk down? 42.
  9. To Yvonne Lee from all slashdot readers, by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Informative

    Since you didn't read my post from yesterday, here it is again: Please go fuck yourself. Seriously. Everybody here means it. That's all. Thank you.

  10. Read an interesting tip... by Nexzus · · Score: 5, Interesting

    ...on another forum:

    Copy and paste the entire job description into a 1 pixel by 1 pixel box on your resume. Invisible to the naked eye, but parsers easily pick it up.

    Just make sure to watch the sites that parse and reformat for you (Monster, eg) when uploading.

    --
    Karma: Can only be portioned out by the Cosmos.
  11. Anyone else "trying" to quit? by ponds · · Score: 5, Funny

    Every time I read one of these, it confirms that there's no purpose in Slashdot anymore, but my muscle memory for the last ~12 years or so keeps navigating me to slashdot subconciously. Then when I figure out what I'm doing, I get all sad. Anyone else in this situation? This is not intended to be modded Funny :/

  12. Re:See ya, Slashdot. by samzenpus · · Score: 5, Informative

    We didn't delete anyone's comments. http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3455889&cid=42890287